Tell Me The Most Funniest Sex Incident You Ever Had And I'll Tell You Mine?

I had a nasty experience with a drunken journey down the Hershey highway and I didn't realize what I was doing but what fucks with me is she didn't realize either? Long story short she came from getting ass fucked multiple times and I finished in her. Let's keep it civil and just say when I pulled out I realized pretty quickly what had happened and i was sitting there like wtf. She turns around and just looks at me with wide eyes and we both ran into the shower.
 
one time when i was 16 i was bangin this chick on the couch. my mom walks in stops and says im going back to the bar and left. she never mentioned it again
 
This happen to my sister-in-law. My brother-in-law isn't the most sexual human being, so she is very frustrated to say the least.

While he was at work she used her dildo and it was running inside her when she fell asleep (good drugs). She woke up with her husband standing next to the bed and asking her what that funny noise was.
She said it had been turned on for sooo long that it was hot. She said, she had a funny vibrating feeling down there for the rest of the day.
 
thump easy said:
thats the same girl so she tells me on one ocasion i want U TO FUCK ME HARD SPANK ME HARD STOP BULLSHITING i was like okay so i get her dogy n she yells ow ow FUCK ME FASTER HARDER ow god ow god FUCK ME DEEPER do im swetting my fucken ass of this shit aint fun no more she start to sprinkle on my legs she tiny dogy opend her legs i stand on the end of the bed my feet to the floor im spanking im grabing im pumping im fucken tired she tells me choke me mother fucker im like WHAT? she sead U HERD CHOKE ME so i put my hands around her neck n grab her its hard to fuck like this so i grab her with one hand one hand on the side of her just so i can get stucture for the pumping n she tells me HARD so i fucker harder n she tells me NO..... CHOKE ME HARDER SO I START TO SQEEEZ n she tells me harder her eyes roll back im triping kinda scared n she gushes out n yells i cant breath i cant breath HER PUSSY LIKE A FUCKEN VISE GRIP..... N SHE RED BUST BIG OW GUSH man im thinking this chicks got problems.... so i flip her n hit it dogie i gota get the feeling back so i do but i cant hold it no more shit shit shit hear it comes n bam i pull out MAN BUT I THINK I WAITED TO LONG FOR A SPLIT SECOND LONG so i go to sleep i wake up n think to myself man i cant get this girl pregnaunt she wants me to be her man i dont want a babie so i go to wall greens n get the day after pill i tell her im geting beer n muscle relaxers she was a pill poper so i give her one blue she was happy i jump in the shower cuz i reak of sex n she a splasher so i get out she choped it up n had a bill rolled up as i walk in she snorts it im like WHAT R U DOING?????? she sead owwwwwww it burns THIS IS SOME GOOD SHIT....well it didnt work she ended up pregnaunt she gets out of jail second d.u.i. man knocks on my door i was already dating someone i realy liked n she is at my door three months into the prgnancie ya ur the dad IM LIKE WHAT... so i go with her n yes she was so no babie i had a hell of a tym the other girl dumps me n that was that one....
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broooo!!! i woulda fuckin went to the store and got another pill bro! and straight told her to swallow that shit.
 
Winter Woman said:
This happen to my sister-in-law. My brother-in-law isn't the most sexual human being, so she is very frustrated to say the least.

While he was at work she used her dildo and it was running inside her when she fell asleep (good drugs). She woke up with her husband standing next to the bed and asking her what that funny noise was.
She said it had been turned on for sooo long that it was hot. Said she, she had a funny vibrating feeling down there for the rest of the day.
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that sounds kind of dangerous haha. imagine if she was asleep for like 8 hours.

FriendlyGuy said:
broooo!!! i woulda fuckin went to the store and got another pill bro! and straight told her to swallow that shit.
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i know! the pill doesnt work if you snort it lol. all u gotta do is tell her u dont want a kid, and she would probably be like yeah i dont either, lets go get the pill
 
Luger187 said:
that sounds kind of dangerous haha. imagine if she was asleep for like 8 hours.



i know! the pill doesnt work if you snort it lol. all u gotta do is tell her u dont want a kid, and she would probably be like yeah i dont either, lets go get the pill
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ya she wanted the child she wanted me at all cost she was crazzy girl.... she had two kids looking to move out because of her parents on her ass she loved it over at my place she was one of the best sex experiences i ever had she was realy good i got a porn with her my friend was telling me i should be a porn star i started laughn i ask him y he sead MAN THAT SHIT IS INTENSE idd pay for someshit like that hahaha im laughn right know out loud with a big smile it was just we only had sex incomen she to young imature but god dam it was fucken veins popn out of my neck n for head wen i nuted but i only seen disaster up ahead oxi cotton n drinking was a problem for her..... way to much.... she called me about a month about mind u its been a few years she was sad... she was pregnant n was into it with her old man she got the clap n she told me wen she went to the hospital to get checked her man mita cheated that to bad i asked her if she loved him she sead yes i told her look val i love u i always will n ill tell u anything u want to know dont worry u can treat it.... try to figure it out n if u need anything i will always be hear... he is hear listening to us talk i dont know what to do? if i were him i'd bee mad your on the phone with me so hang up n call me wen he aint around try to work things out.... n thats the last tym i herd from her she met him in rehab n he had been back sliden a harowin user man ow man ow man god please help this girl she got great sex but nothing upstairs........ i hope she is okay
 
man my computer turned off when i finished this story i hope i can put it down like the first one...... okay hear i go again... so i got out with this girl to marry picford theater our movie dont start till an hour from our arival it was nt pland so we walk around their town squar like the one in prescott a.z. n we see this tower like the one egor that rings the bells, well on holidays especialy x mas n new years they do bell songs at a sertain tym its butifull bell music. anyways so i sead wow it would be cool if we got it on up next to the bells SHE like ow hell no your crazzy just the thought of a chance of geting cought was a thrill... so the side walk is nest to it we walk buy it i try opening the door ITS OPEN hey its open... she like no no the police sation is right behind us NO WAY STOP dont even think about it! I say come on dont be a lil sissy COME ONN!!! i look in their it look like a space ship im not kiding u all kinds of buttons n a a metal later with a hatch to go to the next storie up ow man lets go up SHE SEAS NO WHAT IF THIER IS AN ALARM OR CAMERAS? so i close the door behind us n just the thought of theirs a chance of get cought aroused me the thrill so i start to kiss her she like no your geting me horny n i say come on lets go up! she sead no. ill give you head my shit was so fucken hard the thrill my heart beeted i could feel it man i hear people walking buy outside my dick is throbing hard she unzips me n pulls it out im so fucken throbing hard she kisses it n comenses to put it in her mouth she stroke me n sucks my nub n suden thrusts to my balls n deepthroughts it ow god im so fucken tripn i hear people foot steps out side her mouth feels so good slober all over aww man i feel the tingle ow man its about to happen n then i hear these voices I WOUNDER IF ITS OPEN WHATS IN THIER... n bam the door opens my girl stands up wipen her mouth im like ow shit i got this ragen hard on im like ow man im cought i pull my hard on in my pants one girls eyes r wide open mouth open one hand over her mouth like ohhhhh wow... the other like smiling hahahah ow man so i say hi ladies how r u doing im sorry they all smiling n looking at each other they were a lil over weight they turned red im trien to get out their at the door im like excuse me my girl yell COME ON WHAT R U DOING TRIEN TO HOLD A CONVERSATION well what was i supose to say..... in i got cought red handed owww man........ ow well it was thrilling
 
Winter Woman said:
This happen to my sister-in-law. My brother-in-law isn't the most sexual human being, so she is very frustrated to say the least.

While he was at work she used her dildo and it was running inside her when she fell asleep (good drugs). She woke up with her husband standing next to the bed and asking her what that funny noise was.
She said it had been turned on for sooo long that it was hot. Said she, she had a funny vibrating feeling down there for the rest of the day.
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lmfao thats something I could see happening in a movie like the hangover.
 
thump easy said:
okay so i have my friends sex incedent he goes to collage n he is just way to funny yes he is an intellecual but i have my own so?
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What? I read this like 5 times and can't understand it. How did you guys make sense of that? Someone translate to english for me please. Seems like no one else had trouble but me. I think i need to smoke more or less. Dunno which lol
 
yo theres some funny ass fuckin stories on here. i got one tho. aight so me and my girl are in her dorm room and were fucking around u kno kissing and feeling on each other. the problem was i had to fart really fucking bad like one that you can hardly hold so you try really hard then it suddenly doesn't have to come out just yet. anyway she starts kissing my neck then my chest and down till shes at my jeans. i knew she wanted to suck my dick but i had to fart so i was contemplating in those few seconds it took her to get my pants off if i should just let her suck my dick or make up some excuse to leave the room and fart. so i made the obvious decision and let her proceed to suck. so shes sucking away and as soon and i cum and she starts to swallow, i let the biggest fart in history slip rite in her face and shes like "WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!". MAN it was one of those farts that sounds like the ones you make with ur hands and mouth, u know like the ones u did in 4th grade to make the class laugh. that shit was so funny that i actually started laughing and apologizing instantly. fucking priceless.
 
OutDaCloset said:
yo theres some funny ass fuckin stories on here. i got one tho. aight so me and my girl are in her dorm room and were fucking around u kno kissing and feeling on each other. the problem was i had to fart really fucking bad like one that you can hardly hold so you try really hard then it suddenly doesn't have to come out just yet. anyway she starts kissing my neck then my chest and down till shes at my jeans. i knew she wanted to suck my dick but i had to fart so i was contemplating in those few seconds it took her to get my pants off if i should just let her suck my dick or make up some excuse to leave the room and fart. so i made the obvious decision and let her proceed to suck. so shes sucking away and as soon and i cum and she starts to swallow, i let the biggest fart in history slip rite in her face and shes like "WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!". MAN it was one of those farts that sounds like the ones you make with ur hands and mouth, u know like the ones u did in 4th grade to make the class laugh. that shit was so funny that i actually started laughing and apologizing instantly. fucking priceless.
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now that's funny.

my FUNNIEST sex incident does not rank. i can not even really recall one.

i'll meditate on it tonight and try to post.
 
thump easy said:
okay so i have my friends sex incedent he goes to collage n he is just way to funny yes he is an intellecual but i have my own so?
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hgkdehs said:
What? I read this like 5 times and can't understand it...Someone translate to english for me please.
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"i have this friend who really amuses me. he goes to college and is an intellectual. he had this incident, a hilarious blooper during a sexual encounter, which i wish to recant. i have similar tales to share myself, should you wish to reciprocate."

or, as i would have typed: my buddy who goes to college had this funny sex "incident". tell me a few of yours and i'll give you the scoop on this blooper. he's a bit of an intellectual, but he is funny as hell.
 
OutDaCloset said:
yo theres some funny ass fuckin stories on here. i got one tho. aight so me and my girl are in her dorm room and were fucking around u kno kissing and feeling on each other. the problem was i had to fart really fucking bad like one that you can hardly hold so you try really hard then it suddenly doesn't have to come out just yet. anyway she starts kissing my neck then my chest and down till shes at my jeans. i knew she wanted to suck my dick but i had to fart so i was contemplating in those few seconds it took her to get my pants off if i should just let her suck my dick or make up some excuse to leave the room and fart. so i made the obvious decision and let her proceed to suck. so shes sucking away and as soon and i cum and she starts to swallow, i let the biggest fart in history slip rite in her face and shes like "WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!". MAN it was one of those farts that sounds like the ones you make with ur hands and mouth, u know like the ones u did in 4th grade to make the class laugh. that shit was so funny that i actually started laughing and apologizing instantly. fucking priceless.
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thats to funny its happend to me to except the girl lets it out during sex not a qweef but a fart hahahahaha to funny i love this one it happends on dates i had diarea at knotts scarry farm the line was so long n the fucken bathroom was in side i ran for dear life n told my date hey ill be right back ran to the parking lot n just squated n riped it all out two girls seen me i couldnt hold it hahahaha i took of my tank top n wiped n went back like nothing happend but i was swetting in line going god dam this shit aint happening like dum n dummer ow man i got some stories she was like were did u go i sead i forgot my phone the girls later seen me inside n sead hey that him she like who are those girls it was during halloweeen i sead aww i dont know them.... but man it was fuckn shamefull im glad my date didnt witness it fuckn my idea to eat tosss mahall indian food... its good stuff but fucken hot even for this mexican god dam it burned going in n going out hahahaha sorry shit happends...
 
puffntuff said:
My buddy fucked a chick with a prosthetic. He propped the window open with her leg cuz he said he pussy stunk!!! Lol we called him kickstand forever after that.
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lmfao kick stand is to good.I know someone who proudly says he gets head from a lady with no legs who lives in a fucking homeless shelter lol.
 
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