i really want to get this off my chest.
About 2 years ago, i caught her stealing from friends and family- doing METH.
Our son was a year old at the time. Come to find out , it had been going on for about 4-6 months. Well. I "laid down the law", and she got clean.
2 nights ago, I got the munchies, and if you want to use the microwave, you have to turn off the heater in the bedroom. I come popping in the bedroom to find her and her glass dick, cleaning the stem, with our son watching a movie, 4 feet away. She tries to sit on it , like i didnt see, but i come unglued, knowing exactly what i saw. Walk right up, reach under her, take it , while she pleads for me not to look. I tell her I want her out .
I really love her and want to help her, not lose her to that shit. And i have faith. Just want her to know how serious i am.
Well, i take the pipe, put it in the sink. Smash the shit out of it with a pot which sends glass flying everywhere. I immediately ORDER her to clean up the dam mess- its hers to begin with. I head to the bedroom to see what else I might find. As i start to look around. She thinks im in there to pack her shit. She heads into the office and attempts to open the gun safe. Im there before she can blink. Block her from it. I think she had intended to shoot herself. But the 2nd time she tried to get past me , I lowered the boom, and slapped her , open handed, across the face. Knocking her down to the floor and into the closet door, knocking it off its hinges. Now, shes no small girl, and im no small guy. So, i know she still feels it.
Now, i just dont know what to do. Ive been honest and told her, Im sorry it happened, but im not sorry i did it.
Shes pretty much on lock down now. I take her to work and pick her up. She know that if i even think shes doing it, I have a test from Wallgreens, ready to test her just like last time. Dirty= shes gone.
I was from a single parent family(mother) and just wanted my boy to have both, especially his mother for god's sakes.
She says "No more, she'll stop, just started doing it again". But i dont know what to believe anymore.
After a year and a half since her last episode. I was finally starting to trust again. Now how long will it take ?
How long do i keep the faith ?
I guess until my heart starts agreeing with my brain
needles to say. Combo on Gun Safe has been changed.
