Share your stories from when you were in jail.

dstroy said:

I was a prisoner escort for like five minutes right after I first joined the navy because sometimes it’s cheaper for them to give you a job while your ship is out instead of flying you out. Tons of idiots in Norfolk end up in the area brig and I got to drive them to their dental and medical appointments. Fun times, fully shackled with a waist belt and leg chains.

The brig sucks, you don’t wanna end up there. I’m guessing civilian prison is much nicer from the stories I hear but I don’t know cause I’ve never been in one.

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Damn, that’s whats up. I’ve always wanted to serve my country. But I was too busy serving up dope fiends.

When I was 14, I was driving my drunk asshole daddy across the state in a 50$ Cadillac ( 10$'s more and we could've had two headlights and we wouldn't have been pulled over ) well they locked him up but they let me hang out with the dispatch until someone showed up to get me. It was about three am when we got pulled over and it was just me and the dispatch smoking weed and eating birthday cake , a totally weird experience.

And I woke up next to a urinal with some asshole pissing on my head once.

When I was in Jr high school they would send us troubled youth on field trips to child support court with a visit to the county jail. Well a good friend of mine was in the first cell and I asked him to shake up the kid behind me....he made that prick shit himself . My friend went a little overboard lol.

The other two times were for fighting in my earlier 20s , the first time was on a job site and I throw a big redneck mutherfucker off a two storie wall and jumped on top of him to keep his gorilla ass down. They put me a private holding cell until the other guy out out of the hospital, I was little and skinny, he was big and dumb. the sheriff told everyone what happened to the big man and finally told everyone it was me that did it, I had no trouble during my stay.

I spent two days in the Deschutes county jail for stealing gas out of a school bus in broad daylight because I was tripping and thought I was invisible
I met a guy in jail who was in Vietnam and got nailed by a booby-trap which sent 4 bamboo spikes through his chest- he showed me the scars, it was cool

never been to jail, not even the brig while in the service.

i never even got called to the principles office in school.

not that i am a goodie 2 shoes, just not a trouble making type.

i did receive 2 suspensions from work in my career.

wascaptain said:

never been to jail, not even the brig while in the service.

i never even got called to the principles office in school.

not that i am a goodie 2 shoes, just not a trouble making type.

i did receive 2 suspensions from work in my career.

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We are gangsters LOL

Since we're telling stories . . .
I was in the Windjammer club in Gitmo in the late 70's with about 500 drunk Marines, Coasties & Squids when a fight broke out nearby & I got grabbed by the MP's & thrown in a "Cattle car" attached to a Semi tractor with at least 30 other guys.
Lo and behold one of the guys got the back door of thing open & we all shoot out like rats as it's driving down the road. I'm sure they were confused when they got to the brig with that empty trailer. Lol.

Only been twice, once for the weekend cuz it was Friday and no court till Monday, silly 5 yr old charge of minor in possession of alcohol. Pulled over and was arrested for a charge I didn’t even know I had, didn’t pay the fine when I was 20. Judge said, this is 5yrs old, dismissed. Second time was overnight for defending myself.. I’ve been in the, “game” for years, just lucky in that aspect I guess.

I really thought there would be some better jail stories in here. Wierdest jail story...I was standing in my cell one morning before breakfast, having a cup of instant coffee and this white boy comes running in my cell and gos to the farthest corner. In follows an older black inmate, he turns and looks at me and slaps me right in the face with his jail sandle and turns around and walks right out. Im like WTF! So i guess this kid said something racist out in the commons area and he almost gets into it with this guy and he runs into my cell. Anyways I was pissed, so at breakfast i was going to beat this guy that hit me over the head with my food tray while he was eating. But then some other guys convinced me not to do it since this guy was apparently mentally handicap and I would have gotten a trumped up assault charge. Glad I didnt, it wouldnt have been worth it, and in the end it was really funny, and didnt really even hurt.

First time booked into jail for a stay, i made the mistake of saying i might hurt myself or something stupid like that and they put me in observation, took all my clothes and gave me a green turtle suit, dont know what that it? Google green jail turtle suit, lol. I got to share a cell in obs with a guy going thru alcohol withdrawal, he didnt talk at all, he just layed on the single metal bed peeing and shitting himself, it was all over the floor. I sat in the corner out away from the worst of it. COs came in after a day and took him to get a shower and they moved me one cell over so they could mop the cell. In the next cell over i me a guy who was in obs because he had a browm recluse spider bite, that shit was eating away at his skin! Big ole nasty looking hole in his arm! Then i got moved back to the other cell and the smell of bleach never smelt so sweet even though it was burning my eyes! The whole time I was talking to the COs telling them i wasnt going to hurt myself I was just saying that to get someone to come bail me out. So they took me from obs and moved me to max. I was like wtf am i going to max for? And they are like because of the charges your in for. So on max side is all the much more roudy little gangsters and violent crime people. As soon as i got in there this one white kid started messing with me. Saying he was going to take my food when it came. Showing me this other kid who they made sleep under the bunch and fed him lettuce because he is thier pet rabbit. I was like dude you better leave me the fuck alone. They had a camera by the door, so i kept walking by it while this guy and his buddies followed me and kept talking shit, knowing the COs had to be seeing this. A little while later i was standing at a table and he came up behind me and grabbed me from behind, like a bear hug. I instantly dropped to the floor, getting right out of the hold spun around and suplexed him right into the cell bars slamming his head first. Not as soon as that happened, COs rushed in and grabbed me out of there. All of his buddies were making fun of him while i was leaving and the COs took me to Com side. I was like that was quick and they were like yea we were watching the whole time. Im like why the hell did you take me to max, im not a little gangster trying to be on some bullshit, but im going to defend myself, and they were like dont worry your not in trouble for fighting. And that was the only time i ever had to defend myself in jail. It was a hell of a first 48 hours in the county!

Another time I had to serve 24hrs for a missed piss test. For the record I was clean, I just worked all day and it was summer, so i was dehydrated and made it down to the drug test place 5 mins before they closed and couldnt give em any pee and the guy was a dick and is like im going home so i guess you missed the drop. Took a drop 1st thing the next am, but doesnt matter had to serve 24hrs for it. So i got to pick my own day to serve so i did a sat night so i could be out sunday night and go to work Monday morning. Just so happens i picked the day they were transfering inmates from the old jail to a brand new jail they had just finished and there was no heads up in court because it was some big secret so nobody planned an escape or something. So i booked in the old jail and thats where the nightmare started. Spent 16hrs in a holding cell in the old jail, they said they couldnt take anyone the general population because they were moving then over. All the new people coming in were getting put in that cell because nobody was getting taken to general population so it was like 20 guys in a holding cell! bunch of anoying ass mother fuckers too, constantly saying stupid shit and wanting to be friends! So we finally got moved over to the new jail, got to walk underground from the old jail, to the new jail, so that was kind of cool. But then got to booking in the new jail and gound out there new computer systems were all jacked up so when my 24hrs was up they couldnt release me because they couldnt even book me in the computers in the 1st place. Ended up not getting out until monday morning at like 10am, didnt sleep at all the whole time because I was on the phone constantly because I had people trying to pick me up after the 24hrs, and people kept getting brought into booking but couldnt get booked in. What a nightmare, and my po was just like that shouldnt have happened. Court systems are a bunch of fuckers and will fuck you over, wish i had the money back then for a laywer.

30 days in the hole, 1967 North IA county jail. Happy Birthday baby Jesus! is what was on the radio.

Charged with sale and possession of plant matter.

Moldy said:

30 days in the hole, 1967 North IA county jail. Happy Birthday baby Jesus! is what was on the radio.

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Great song...we need a little Humble Pie around here

Although this is more thread appropriate Yeah I'm old school

I did bout a yr in Guangzhou China...dont EVER go to prison in China!! These are luxury suites here. Only plus side was I could kick there ass in basketball...when your 6ft

UNICRONLIVES said:

I did bout a yr in Guangzhou China...dont EVER go to prison in China!! These are luxury suites here. Only plus side was I could kick there ass in basketball...when your 6ft

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But how was the shrimp fried rice?

steamed white rice and a roll ....shrimp fried rice is an american thing

UNICRONLIVES said:

steamed white rice and a roll ....shrimp fried rice is an american thing

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Haha I know bro I was just messin with you. I bet that shit was rough. Did anyone fuck with you or mess with you for being a foreigner? I prefer Vietnamese and Thai food over most American Chinese food myself.

Iriemedicine said:

Haha I know bro I was just messin with you. I bet that shit was rough. Did anyone fuck with you or mess with you for being a foreigner? I prefer Vietnamese and Thai food over most American Chinese food myself.

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Oh yea...guards, inmates..it was kinda like..hmm. you ever see an army of ants attack some big ass insect...kinda like that!