Serious people only.

bu$hleaguer

bu$hleaguer

Well-Known Member
Serious question- anyone ever filled a plastic water bottle with about a half cup of tobacco spit and then screwed the top on and forgot about it in a hot car for 4 days or so? Like 130 degrees hot in the sun?

What was your experience like?

Mine was fucking crazy, it was like a csi show where a corpse has been contained in a room for a week or some shit and when they bust in and find it they're all immediately nauseous and having trouble holding back the gag reflex from the stank. Heavy, heavy decay.

Im not sure how to explain it but if you know you know what it's like. Like dead breath. Worse than low tide by far, like straight heavy decay, melted skin. It has a weight to it different than anything else out there, it's just heavy and it lays on everything.

I opened it up and spit in it for three and a half days after that, and it's been laying on my passenger seat now for a while longer. I had visions of opening it and throwing it on a pedestrian today when I drove around town.

Please go ahead and share some of your own serious thoughts.
 
UncleBuck

UncleBuck

Well-Known Member
one time i was installing a door in a third story walk up apartment. they only had one bathroom.

i had a shit lingering all morning. anyhoo, dude i'm installing for tells me he is gonna shower for a job interview and heads in there. it was at about that time that the lingering shit became too urgent and started turtling.

i had to run down the stairs, across the parking lot, and into the back of the box truck, where i unleashed a massive shit into a trash box i had out there. just barely made it in time.

i couldn't walk into the back of the truck for the rest of the day without almost gagging, and i have almost no sense of smell.

later that day, after the job was done, i stopped by the shop to dump the trash from the job, since i didn't want to leave my shit in the truck all night. as i was lifting the oblong box i shat in up to the dumpster, all the trim and trash (and subsequently, my own shit) started sliding back towards me.

it could have been serious had i not gotten the box over the lip of the dumpster just in time.
 
Dr.Pecker

Dr.Pecker

Well-Known Member
I ate some limburger cheese once. The taste was kind of like if you had walked 20 miles on a hot summer day with winter boots on, then you took off your boot and stepped in dogshit and put the dogshit sweat filled sock in your mouth. That smelly disgusting mess sticks to your teeth and stays in your nasal passages all day even after you brush. Whoever thought of making dogshit fucking cheese needs to be drug into the street and fucking shot!
 
Singlemalt

Singlemalt

Well-Known Member
Myself and 2 childhood buddies rented an old fucked up house in college, reduced rent and we'd fix up the house. It had been totally fucked by who knows how many hippies that had lived there. Our landlords were this very nice couple, he had been crippled in WW2 so he couldn't do anything. The house was at the end of the driveway and there was a 4 unit apt at the front. Things were great for about a year and a half then a bunch of trash moved into the apts and always blocked the driveway. We complained to landlords, we complained to the trash, the trash wouldn't listen. I was in organic chem at the time so I stole some mercaptoethanol from the stockroom. This shit is somewhat toxic but it smells like pure decayed death. We divvied it up, wore gloves and gasmasks and crawled underneath the units and poured this shit into all the wood in the foundation. Everyone moved out within 2 weeks. Problem was it was unrentable for 7 months, I did feel bad about that cuz I liked the landlords
 
tangerinegreen555

tangerinegreen555

Well-Known Member
Singlemalt said:
Myself and 2 childhood buddies rented an old fucked up house in college, reduced rent and we'd fix up the house. It had been totally fucked by who knows how many hippies that had lived there. Our landlords were this very nice couple, he had been crippled in WW2 so he couldn't do anything. The house was at the end of the driveway and there was a 4 unit apt at the front. Things were great for about a year and a half then a bunch of trash moved into the apts and always blocked the driveway. We complained to landlords, we complained to the trash, the trash wouldn't listen. I was in organic chem at the time so I stole some mercaptoethanol from the stockroom. This shit is somewhat toxic but it smells like pure decayed death. We divvied it up, wore gloves and gasmasks and crawled underneath the units and poured this shit into all the wood in the foundation. Everyone moved out within 2 weeks. Problem was it was unrentable for 7 months, I did feel bad about that cuz I liked the landlords
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A heavy duty batch of Bagna Cauda may have worked, and you could have snacked the whole time...
 
cannabineer

cannabineer

Ursus marijanus
Singlemalt said:
Myself and 2 childhood buddies rented an old fucked up house in college, reduced rent and we'd fix up the house. It had been totally fucked by who knows how many hippies that had lived there. Our landlords were this very nice couple, he had been crippled in WW2 so he couldn't do anything. The house was at the end of the driveway and there was a 4 unit apt at the front. Things were great for about a year and a half then a bunch of trash moved into the apts and always blocked the driveway. We complained to landlords, we complained to the trash, the trash wouldn't listen. I was in organic chem at the time so I stole some mercaptoethanol from the stockroom. This shit is somewhat toxic but it smells like pure North German Cuisine. We divvied it up, wore gloves and gasmasks and crawled underneath the units and poured this shit into all the wood in the foundation. Everyone moved out within 2 weeks. Problem was it was unrentable for 7 months, I did feel bad about that cuz I liked the landlords
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Fixed it fer ye
I know that smell!
I gotta say that stuff is unicorn kisses compared to some of the organophosphorus compounds. Talk about puke. I think I ruined my sense of smell in the lab. I prefer pyridine to wisteria. I mean, huh??
 
tyler.durden

tyler.durden

Well-Known Member
In my 20s, me, my buddy and a girl I was dating went to a jazz club for NYE. I had a few drinks at home even before I arrived, and when we got there, I drank constantly, more than I ever had before. The girl got tired of my boorish ways within the first hour and left. My buddy and I ate a lot of free hot h'ordeuvres in an attempt to coat our stomachs to buffer the drinks. The last thing I remembered before I passed out at our table was doing a final shot of Johnny Walker Black with my friend. I awoke some time later, my friend was gone and my stomach was doing some funky shit and I knew I needed to puke, but my legs didn't respond at all to my brain telling them to move, so I passed out again. When I woke the second time, I felt it coming but I couldn't move so the first wave of barf came up and I somehow kept it in my cheeks doing my best Dizzy Gillespie impression. I hate to admit it, but I then tried to swallow, gulp by gulp, all the barf in my mouth. I got to about the second gulp when the second wave came: since the first load was still puffing out my cheeks, the added pressure just spewed out of my pursed lips like a geyser making a loud raspberry sound. I showered these little lipstick lesbians across from me, plus a few other shocked patrons, in technicolor vomit (it was an interesting texture and blend of colors/smells because of the hot snacks I ate earlier). Everyone screamed and I promptly passed out again. My buddy who was working the bar (the same guy who invited me to the event) came over some undetermined amount of time later, and proceeded to lift my head and clean me up, along with the surrounding area, with a bucket and a large sponge. He asked if I had money for a cab, and gave me a $20 when I said no. I don't remember getting home, but I couldn't find the $20 when the taxi pulled up in front of my place, so I just sat in the snow after the cabby kicked me out yelling at me. I made it to my bed and slept for over 25 hours straight. I vowed never to drink like that again, and I never have. I did find that $20 in my jacket a couple years later, though...
 
Indagrow

Indagrow

Well-Known Member
Had a pt not take their prosthetic leg off for over two weeks saying that it was too tight.. I could smell the rot when they walked in. We took off the leg and it smelt of death, I peeled back the gel liner and their skin came with it..just had some fatty tissue and rot for a stump..

necrotic tissue and neuropathy have a special place in my heart..

We closed shop to have professional cleaners do something really anything about the smell and had to send the pt to the ER they then went to the icu never to be seen again.

But yeah dip spit is bogus
 
cat of curiosity

cat of curiosity

Well-Known Member
UncleBuck said:
one time i had to run down the stairs, across the parking lot, and into the back of the box truck, where i unleashed a massive shit into a trash box i had out there. just barely made it in time.

i couldn't walk into the back of the truck for the rest of the day without almost gagging, and i have almost no sense of smell.

it could have been serious. just in time.
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new sig :p
 
oldtimer54

oldtimer54

Well-Known Member
I used smokeless tobacco for several decades and like bushleaguer I would spit in bottles and put the top back on and lie it in the passenger seat. And on numerous occasions while delivering papers would reach for my Drink thinking I was about to get a nice cold gulp of whatever sugary soda was my choice for that day only to be surprised by what was not my soda....and believe me when I say it's as disgusting as it sounds but it didn't stop me from using. I just started making sure that I kept 2 different bottles to avoid any confusion. One for drinking and the other for spitting . But I found a use for my used spit bottles. I was constantly coming in contact with bad dogs while on my route and after being surprised one night by a big ass dog and my reaction was to throw my spit filled bottle juice on the offending mut and he was quickly dissuaded from trying to find out what I tasted like . As a matter of fact I did this to several more dogs on my route and they all exhibited the same reaction they hauled ass and didn't bother me again.
I no longer use tobacco so I had to go to a different method of protection just in case. Non lethal of course ! They're called dog treats !
 
Olive Drab Green

Olive Drab Green

Well-Known Member
tangerinegreen555 said:
Watched a guy try to drink that shit once. Wrong Pepsi can at work...hasn't really been right since...still dippin' though.
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Do you know how often this shit happens in the Army? I have never seen such a huge collective dip so much until enlisting. My squad leader smoked my ass up and down an Afghani mountain with a horseshoe dip of Copenhagen Whiskey Blend tucked in my lower lip. I had never dipped before, nor since.
 
tangerinegreen555

tangerinegreen555

Well-Known Member
Olive Drab Green said:
Do you know how often this shit happens in the Army? I have never seen such a huge collective dip so much until enlisting. My squad leader smoked my ass up and down an Afghani mountain with a horseshoe dip of Copenhagen Whiskey Blend tucked in my lower lip. I had never dipped before, nor since.
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If I want heartburn...I'll eat a cucumber salad. Tried that dippin' stuff...heartburn was horrible! One can was enough, threw half away.
 
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