Seeking Help, Advice; Save This Suffering Patient

Trying to keep this one short, it's going to be tough though. Well, ever since I was young, I have always been a truely outgoing individual. Always made friends easily, the kinda guy you could throw into a club by himself and I make a friends real quick, might even gather up a few cronies to start some shenanigans by the end of the night. The kind of person you'd think would be easy going in all aspects of life, with little anxiety. Dead wrong, around people wonderful, but by myself and within my own mind I definitely suffered from generalized anxiety. So around age 11 or 12, I was introduced to the ganja:leaf:. Immediately we formed a great love, and then continued for many years with a wonderful way to take that edge off and just feel happier and less worry. I smoked on and off for years, always enjoying the high every single fucking time; not one bad experience. Then out of nowhere after a pretty intense blazing streak, of like 3-4 months, smoking multiple times a day, the high slowly started to turn on me out of nowhere. This was around age 22 or so. I kept smoking day in and day out because I thought maybe it would get better; and lets face it I had that type mental addiction going. This went on for a few months and I started blazing alot less frequently, and in smaller quantities to no avail. The high would always be panicky, slightly paranoid, anxious, twitchy, and just uncomfortable. I kept smoking on occasion because sometimes it wouldn't be as intense, and i took the good with the bad. Other times, full blown panic attack. I tried different strains, different settings, yoga, meditation; every trick in the book. The only thing that seemed to help, and only slightly at that, was alcohol. Even that was just a small help. Finally, I gave it up completely. Every time I tried to smoke again, even after weeks of not blazing would result in the same demon high.

In reality, I JUST WANT THE OLD HIGH BACK! I miss it so much, it was a wonderful way to live life. I've always been a stoner at heart, and just a better person for it. Please help a brother out, I miss MARYJ:leaf:
 

Adjorr

Well-Known Member
just embrace it, i know i spend many hours stoned thinking up thins that could go wrong in my life a how id react, really makes me appreciate just how good things are. Weed makes you paranoid and if ur a paranoid anxious person in the first place its onyl going to amplify that. Its just part of the high enjoy it. if you think your going to have a bad time u will
 
just embrace it, i know i spend many hours stoned thinking up thins that could go wrong in my life a how id react, really makes me appreciate just how good things are. Weed makes you paranoid and if ur a paranoid anxious person in the first place its onyl going to amplify that. Its just part of the high enjoy it. if you think your going to have a bad time u will
I honestly wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard this from friends, acquaintances, an old boss(go figure). I've been blazing a long time, i realize that when you smoke a certain paranoia and altered perception comes along with it. There is something more to it I can't figure out. Years ago, I remember days where I would literally, no exaggeration, blaze through a quarter or a half from the time I woke up until I fell asleep. Not once, even during those sort of days of over-indulging felt overly high. I used to go to work baked, go out with friends baked, drive baked, etc. Nowadays, I can literally take one hit or smoke an entire doob and i cannot function, have a hard time holding conversations with people, definitely can't drive in that state anymore, and overly get edgy, sometimes angry, and sometimes irritable. It's the weirdest thing, nine ten years of smoking, and all the sudden boom. I have not gotten a truely, clean, functional, enjoyable high since early last fall.
 

kinetic

Well-Known Member
What type of meditation? TM? What Asana's did you practice in yoga? How long did you practice? Did you start with the sun salutation? Did you meditate daily? Were you breathing with your diaphram? What did you notice while you meditated? What posture did you use when you meditated?
 
Even tried the whole smoking reggies, and taking it one hit at a time. Same effect, I feel like I just plan on taking like a 2-3 month tolerance break, and going from there. I'm basically out of options, nothing has seemed to work this far.
 

DutchKillsRambo

Well-Known Member
From my experience? It's the booze. I obviously can't speak for you, but for me, when I drank heavily, it always led to an anxiety ridden high. Even when I hadn't drank in days.

What helped me? Not drinking. There is something of an ego-death (albeit small) with pot, something wholly absent from alcohol. That leads to anxiety when smoking IMO.

That being said, have you ever felt or dealt with what most call "mental issues"? Trust me that's not a slander. I've been alternately diagnosed with several things over the years, and I've realized, for me at least, ego-inciting drugs like alcohol or cocaine don't mesh with ego-killing drugs like cannabis, mushrooms, or LSD. When I'm deep in the former, the latter won't have the desired effect. In fact, they often lead to anxiety, paranoia, panic attacks, etc. It seems like you've already tried any suggestion I would give besides more meditation; if that still doesn't work, talking to a counselor might. Just gotta find the right one.

Cheers man.
 
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