Saying 'Sorry'

Padawanbater2

Padawanbater2

Well-Known Member
What a bullshit scapegoat..

You fuck up, say "sorry"..

I think if you fuck up, you should have to work for forgiveness. Saying "sorry" is way too easy.


I just had a friend fuck up and admit it and say sorry and you know what it means to me? Shit. Nothing. You fucked up. You were an idiot at the time and I knew it and told you. You knowing the same thing now doesn't mean shit to me other than you're dumber for taking longer. Why didn't you just trust me and believe me then, asshole, when it meant as much? Now it means nothing, now you look like a dummy.

Don't get me wrong, I fuck up all the time, every day! Just be honest with yourself and you won't have to apologize as much..
 
I had a really nasty break up with my most recent ex. She cheated on me and broke my heart and I said some choice words I wish I never said. Months went by and what I said continued to eat at me. I decided a couple weeks ago to write her and apologize for what I had said. I didn't expect her to write back and frankly I'm not sure if she forgave me or what her deal is. All I know is that I am truly sorry for what was said and it is off my chest and I feel great. Life has a vicious cycle of pain and hate so why not break that cycle by forgiving often?
 
I don't like sorry as a response. Sorry is just an excuse. In my opinion, people only say sorry when they KNOWINGLY fucked up.
Say they come to RIU and start being a tool, they cause arguments, post stupid crap that turns into a fight, or they are not following policy at work, or they are just being an asshole in general. They knew from the moment they started doing whatever they were doing that it was wrong in some way, if they can't listen to their inner voice of reason I don't want to listen to them. Admit you fucked up, don't do it again and move on.

On the other hand there are situations were people honestly mess up but meant well. Don't say sorry, just acknowledge that you messed up, learn from your mistakes and don't do it again.
 
It's inherited...sorry
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You should work on letting things go. His mistake is still burning a fire in you mind, and you were right. Would he have the same valid feelings of anger towards you if you were wrong or atleast he got away with it? Is the sword you carry on one edged?
 
hempyninja309 said:
I had a really nasty break up with my most recent ex. She cheated on me and broke my heart and I said some choice words I wish I never said. Months went by and what I said continued to eat at me. I decided a couple weeks ago to write her and apologize for what I had said. I didn't expect her to write back and frankly I'm not sure if she forgave me or what her deal is. All I know is that I am truly sorry for what was said and it is off my chest and I feel great. Life has a vicious cycle of pain and hate so why not break that cycle by forgiving often?
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she cheated on YOU and you are apologizing? No verbal rebuke could possibly rise to the level of infidelity.

words are just words....actions are much louder.
 
Padawanbater2 said:
What a bullshit scapegoat..

You fuck up, say "sorry"..

I think if you fuck up, you should have to work for forgiveness. Saying "sorry" is way too easy.


I just had a friend fuck up and admit it and say sorry and you know what it means to me? Shit. Nothing. You fucked up. You were an idiot at the time and I knew it and told you. You knowing the same thing now doesn't mean shit to me other than you're dumber for taking longer. Why didn't you just trust me and believe me then, asshole, when it meant as much? Now it means nothing, now you look like a dummy.

Don't get me wrong, I fuck up all the time, every day! Just be honest with yourself and you won't have to apologize as much..
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some people find it hard to say sorry even when they know there wrong.. im like that... if you buddy is like that he has come a long way in my eyes..... my best friend from childhood is a junky... he lies to me about his use even when I catch him nodding out and I can hear the dope usuage in his echoey raspy voice... it pisses me off now a deacde I been trying to save him... I cant give up on him I known him like 20 years... don't give up on your friend bro.... take my word for it..... no matter what someone says or does u known them 20 or more years there a good guy... after 20 years of friendship everyone is a good guy... maybe its just me... I hope not cuzz that would mean loyalty is about dead
 
Some people just don't listen and need to learn from their own mistakes. Always better to learn from others mistakes. I've just had a similar problem with a friend of mine who wants to return to Spain. He needs my help so basically I made him an offer, he made me a counteroffer that was so greedy it was stupid greedy and I took the whole deal off the table and told him 'you need to walk before you run, I'm jogging at a nice pace. I dont need you, you need me!' had to be done. Im not bothered by it so maybe you should just try and let it go too. I'm still talking to him, just won't work with him.
 
lahadaextranjera said:
Some people just don't listen and need to learn from their own mistakes. Always better to learn from others mistakes. I've just had a similar problem with a friend of mine who wants to return to Spain. He needs my help so basically I made him an offer, he made me a counteroffer that was so greedy it was stupid greedy and I took the whole deal off the table and told him 'you need to walk before you run, I'm jogging at a nice pace. I dont need you, you need me!' had to be done. Im not bothered by it so maybe you should just try and let it go too. I'm still talking to him, just won't work with him.
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Some people will never learn no matter how much you try to help them. In the end it just depletes you of energy and time. As you said some people have to learn from their own mistakes and some even have to repeat the same mistake several times before they finally understand .
 
Rotawee said:
Sorry you're so unforgiving Mr. Perfect.
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Mr. Perfect? FUCK NO LOL

I have many character and personality flaws.

being a cheating asshole isn't one of them.....fortunately.

I'm perfectly capable of being an asshole without the whole cheating part.

but thanks for the advice mr. twenty posts...I believe hempyninja knows who I am and what i'm about.

theexpress said:
that was a dick move bro... I wish I could neg rep you......
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hahaha it's cool man ;)

thanks tho :leaf:
 
Jmo... Make.it.easy on yourself pad. If ur boy is a true friend, let it go and move on. People are always gna be people and people fuck up. If u live life not bein able to forgive, u might as well live under a rock. If u really consider him a friend just tellm how u feel so he knows then get on with bein homies
 
kinetic said:
You should work on letting things go. His mistake is still burning a fire in you mind, and you were right. Would he have the same valid feelings of anger towards you if you were wrong or atleast he got away with it? Is the sword you carry on one edged?
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This is one of those times where time and time again has just added up. I've been here before, questioning the relationship, and have just dismissed it to save things, and again and again it's like the same old story.. I've decided it's toxic, meaning I put more into it than I get out of it, and I think my time would be better spent investing in people who want to invest in me too

Rotawee said:
Sorry you're so unforgiving Mr. Perfect.
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There is a big difference between saying sorry and meaning it and saying sorry if you think it will save a relationship, the latter is almost worse than not saying it at all..

theexpress said:
some people find it hard to say sorry even when they know there wrong.. im like that... if you buddy is like that he has come a long way in my eyes..... my best friend from childhood is a junky... he lies to me about his use even when I catch him nodding out and I can hear the dope usuage in his echoey raspy voice... it pisses me off now a deacde I been trying to save him... I cant give up on him I known him like 20 years... don't give up on your friend bro.... take my word for it..... no matter what someone says or does u known them 20 or more years there a good guy... after 20 years of friendship everyone is a good guy... maybe its just me... I hope not cuzz that would mean loyalty is about dead
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I understand what you mean, but I don't think this situation centers around loyalty. She judged me in a situation I would have never expected, I asked her something trusting I'd get a pretty simple response and her reaction made me feel worthless. Coming from her, someone I felt like I trusted at the time, was very unusual..

lahadaextranjera said:
Some people just don't listen and need to learn from their own mistakes. Always better to learn from others mistakes. I've just had a similar problem with a friend of mine who wants to return to Spain. He needs my help so basically I made him an offer, he made me a counteroffer that was so greedy it was stupid greedy and I took the whole deal off the table and told him 'you need to walk before you run, I'm jogging at a nice pace. I dont need you, you need me!' had to be done. Im not bothered by it so maybe you should just try and let it go too. I'm still talking to him, just won't work with him.
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Same here, I'll still talk to her, but I'm not going to hang out with her or be friends with her.. After this happened it all just feels totally fake at this point.. It's weird too because I feel like what she said (hormones or not) wouldn't ever cross my mind. I know that for that sort of stuff to even be considered, underlying issues must be present.. So regardless of if she said what she said because she was pissed or hormonal, she still meant it. That can't be taken back by simply saying "I'm sorry"...

ebgood said:
Jmo... Make.it.easy on yourself pad. If ur boy is a true friend, let it go and move on. People are always gna be people and people fuck up. If u live life not bein able to forgive, u might as well live under a rock. If u really consider him a friend just tellm how u feel so he knows then get on with bein homies
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So what's a "true friend"? I've got a friend I've known over a decade who has never said anything close to what this person said to me. That's what I consider a friend. People who make you feel good about being yourself.
 
Padawanbater2 said:
This is one of those times where time and time again has just added up. I've been here before, questioning the relationship, and have just dismissed it to save things, and again and again it's like the same old story.. I've decided it's toxic, meaning I put more into it than I get out of it, and I think my time would be better spent investing in people who want to invest in me too

sounds like a reasonable plan

There is a big difference between saying sorry and meaning it and saying sorry if you think it will save a relationship, the latter is almost worse than not saying it at all..

agreed







So what's a "true friend"? I've got a friend I've known over a decade who has never said anything close to what this person said to me. That's what I consider a friend. People who make you feel good about being yourself.
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I dunno bout this. I also have ppl i've known for several decades whom I guess would consider "friends" Most don't have the balls or care enough to really say what is on their mind.

In my mind a true friend is one who tells you their thoughts.....regardless of the outcome, even if it makes you feel bad.

If it makes you feel good...well then, better yet.

Most times people don't want to hear bad shit. Especially when they need to hear it.

so to sum it up, in my mind a REAL friend will tell you what you DON'T want to hear.....because they care.
 
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