Heisenberg
Well-Known Member
It's nearly that time of year again. Soon it will be that one holy night when millions of Christians around the globe chose to lie to the ones they claim to love most, their children.
The bible clearly states one of the big rules to be, thou shall not tell a lie. It's been a while since I've read a bible but I'm pretty sure there weren't any foot notes saying it's okay to lie on Jesus birthday, or if it makes your kid smile. Take a moment to think about all the different aspects involved in perpetuating the lie of Santa Clause. It's a true conspiracy. One that involves millions of willing participants and engulfs most of it's victims once they learn the truth, then uses them to further itself. Huge amounts of money are changing hands, behavior is being modified, and all of this revolves around a web of well crafted and fine tuned lies. By their own standards, it's never okay to lie. So why does it become okay to lie to the most gullible and trusting people you know; children?
The whole idea of Santa is creepy anyway. Some old fat guy who watches me all the time...is that something I'm supposed to be happy about? We wouldn't tolerate this from anyone else. Hell that's why we have stalker laws. Even worse, he judges me constantly, making notes about my behavior. Maybe he should worry about his own behavior. If your going to be a role model for kids around the globe, wouldn't you want to appear fit and trim? The message hes sending is, binge on cookies and milk and you'll be around for hundreds of years. And by the way, didn't we harass Micheal Jackson for hanging around kids all the time and giving them gifts? Why does Santa get a break? I don't think Micheal had kids standing in line to sit on his lap and take pictures. (I could be wrong) Hell even Santa's employees look like children. I'm wondering if any of these elves ever had their picture on the back of a milk carton.
I also don't trust this magic dust Santa has that makes the reindeer fly. Sounds supicously like some really good meth to me. I'm betting Santa has access to the good shit. A little snort and those poor deer are flying all night. That's why when Santa wants to fly up the chimney, he puts his finger to his nose. Gotta give it a good snort and get that drain. Hrmm.. maybe that's where Tinkerbell gets her magic dust from, shes got the hook up with Santa. It's makes Peter Pan fly, and keeps him looking like a child...
The bible clearly states one of the big rules to be, thou shall not tell a lie. It's been a while since I've read a bible but I'm pretty sure there weren't any foot notes saying it's okay to lie on Jesus birthday, or if it makes your kid smile. Take a moment to think about all the different aspects involved in perpetuating the lie of Santa Clause. It's a true conspiracy. One that involves millions of willing participants and engulfs most of it's victims once they learn the truth, then uses them to further itself. Huge amounts of money are changing hands, behavior is being modified, and all of this revolves around a web of well crafted and fine tuned lies. By their own standards, it's never okay to lie. So why does it become okay to lie to the most gullible and trusting people you know; children?
The whole idea of Santa is creepy anyway. Some old fat guy who watches me all the time...is that something I'm supposed to be happy about? We wouldn't tolerate this from anyone else. Hell that's why we have stalker laws. Even worse, he judges me constantly, making notes about my behavior. Maybe he should worry about his own behavior. If your going to be a role model for kids around the globe, wouldn't you want to appear fit and trim? The message hes sending is, binge on cookies and milk and you'll be around for hundreds of years. And by the way, didn't we harass Micheal Jackson for hanging around kids all the time and giving them gifts? Why does Santa get a break? I don't think Micheal had kids standing in line to sit on his lap and take pictures. (I could be wrong) Hell even Santa's employees look like children. I'm wondering if any of these elves ever had their picture on the back of a milk carton.
I also don't trust this magic dust Santa has that makes the reindeer fly. Sounds supicously like some really good meth to me. I'm betting Santa has access to the good shit. A little snort and those poor deer are flying all night. That's why when Santa wants to fly up the chimney, he puts his finger to his nose. Gotta give it a good snort and get that drain. Hrmm.. maybe that's where Tinkerbell gets her magic dust from, shes got the hook up with Santa. It's makes Peter Pan fly, and keeps him looking like a child...
I used to think this to myself when I was a little kid!