Pseudo-science Yield Improvement

I'm starting my 2014 season in two weeks. My dirt is cooked, my worm bin is going, my vortex brewer is built, and my greenhouse improvements are nearly complete. So all I have left to mess with is the stuff that really matters.

Orgone Accumulator - rumored to improve weather in a 10 mile radius. Inverting them and placing them over a plant is known to cause crazy growth. I need to find some double terminated crystals and I think I have everything I need to build one that can be moved around as needed. Expect this to double my yield.

Tibetan prayer flags - Hanging these near my greenhouse is more about preventing catastrophic crop failure so I don't expect an increase in yield, just insurance.

Metronome Timing Advancement (MTA) - Plants get a steady beat of 1 click per second through veg. to regulate the pulse of growth activity. In flower, timer is advanced 1/16 beat per second each week to drive a sense of urgency. This will also double my yield if my calculations are correct.

Sage cleansing - many people have died in the vicinity of my grow so it only makes sense to perform and annual cleansing of spirits by burning some sage. At best I expect a 5-10% improvement in yield, more for my own peace of mind.

My question is simple, can doing all 4 of these things create a synergy that could increase my yield beyond the 440% improvement I am expecting? Please, only answers from those that know what they are talking about.

Dude, if that all works, I'm jumping on board. I don't see how the sage burning is going to improve yield, but I suppose a better atmosphere surrounding the plants could help them, if you're into that kind of thing. That MTA and orgone accumulator sounds pretty interesting though.

I think that your belief in what you are doing will cause you greater yields. Just as reading a parent magazine doesnt make you a good parent, you are destined to be a good parent by just wanting to read that magazine... get me?

Yeah man, for sure. Good way to look at it.

You can use my metronome but you will have to rewind it every few minutes.

Bugeye said:

Orgone Accumulator - rumored to improve weather in a 10 mile radius. Inverting them and placing them over a plant

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...Don't let it fall on your head.

Tibetan prayer flags - Hanging these near my greenhouse is more about preventing catastrophic crop failure so I don't expect an increase in yield, just insurance.

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Like Mt'Everest base-camps! pretty, like the 1960s! Fashion statement too.!

Metronome Timing Advancement (MTA) - Plants get a steady beat of 1 click per second through veg. to regulate the pulse of growth activity. In flower, timer is advanced 1/16 beat per second each week to drive a sense of urgency. This will also double my yield if my calculations are correct.

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like piano time-keepers?

Sage cleansing - many people have died in the vicinity of my grow so it only makes sense to perform and annual cleansing of spirits by burning some sage. At best I expect a 5-10% improvement in yield, more for my own peace of mind.

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again, I like sage. I don't see how it would hurt.

My question is simple, can doing all 4 of these things create a synergy that could increase my yield beyond the 440% improvement I am expecting? Please, only answers from those that know what they are talking about.

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I think it might be difficult to find a scientific mind who would assume the 440% improvements, as you have. I think you are your own master.


I know what WILL increase your yield by 200%.. Inject co2 into it.

Does metronome really effect urgency in flowering? These are some very interesting, solid theories.

Although I don't really understand how spirits would be reducing yields by 5-10%, and to be honest, I highly doubt any of these will improve your yield at all, but if you believe it will then more power to ya!

so am i the one who has to say it? hell no your yields wont go up 440% unless you did a shit job in previous grows.

Ye of little faith.

LITSWD said:

Ye of little faith.

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Many of us have LOADS of faith.. We have faith in true science, i.e., organic fertilizers, soft and lite medium, plenty of light, optimal temperature range and humidity, insect control, air/oxygen/co2 exchange, ect.. we do not believe the world is flat or 10,000 years old.

stuff like, "Orgone Accumulator - rumored to improve weather in a 10 mile radius." sounds like a wives tale of the tallest order. I would assume it would do more damage by having a 5lb rock fall on your head but to each their own.

If I can get a 237% bump by playing classical music and only watering left-handed, I don't see why you can't get +400%

Careful mixing your synergies though. Some can cancel each other out.

who does not like classical music?




Jimmy is a heavy dude and he can get spaced out, so let me do the talking! - Cheech looks scared!

Timecube lighting schedule? Get 4 days worth of light in one day!

^^ link to wiki, not timecube itself. - that would be sheer madness.

I think I just wandering into the wacky Tibetian coo coo nest lol

Religion has came about through modern humans advanced theory of mind as a coping mechanism. So any theory you have which involves prayers, or "spirits" will be completely futile. The metronome one sounds like the only one which may have some scientific merit.

Whats up Bugeye! Been a minute. Garden sounds awesome man, love the metronome idea. Best of luck with everything

Don't forget to defoliate as soon as you get any kind of growth going in. From what I heard, 2 weeks, 4 weeks and then just before flowering, and throughout. And whenever your feeling 'itchy' to do something.

dayl8dllarshort said:

I think that your belief in what you are doing will cause you greater yields. Just as reading a parent magazine doesnt make you a good parent, you are destined to be a good parent by just wanting to read that magazine... get me?

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Yep! Great response.