Pix That Make You LOL-Warning-SNWS

Winter Woman

Winter Woman

Well-Known Member
tiny tim regrets last night because...

New girlfriend and I started hooking up. I didn't have a condom and she told me she did but they might not fit because they are magnums.
 
herbose

herbose

Well-Known Member
Golf Genie

A young couple is golfing one day on a very exclusive
course lined with million-dollar houses. On the third tee,
the wife slices her shot right through the large front window
of the biggest house along the course.

They walk up, knock on the door, and hear a voice say,
"Come on in."

Opening the door, they see glass everywhere and a
broken bottle lying on the floor.

A man on the couch says, "Are you the people who broke
my window?"

The husband begins to apologize, but the man cuts him
off. "Actually, I want to thank you - I'm a genie who was
trapped in that bottle, and your wayward shot released me.

I'm allowed to grant three wishes, so what I'd like to do is
give each of you one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself."

"Fantastic!" says the husband. "I want a million dollars a
year for the rest of my life." "No problem," says the genie,
"it's the least I could do."

And you, ma'am, what do you want?" "I want a house in
every country in the world," says the wife.

"Consider it done," the genie replies, turning back to the man.
"And now for my wish. Because I've been trapped in that
bottle, I haven't had sex in a very long time. My wish is to
sleep with your wife."

The husband takes a long look at his wife and says, "Well,
we did get a lot of money and all those houses. If you don't
mind, honey, I don't either."

The wife agrees, and the genie takes her upstairs, where
he ravishes her for three hours. After he's through, the
genie rolls over, looks at the wife, and asks, "How old is
your husband anyway?"

"Thirty-five," she replies.

The genie asks "And he still believes in genies?"
 
herbose

herbose

Well-Known Member
Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irishman.
One guy said he was going to piss him off. He walked over to
the Irishman and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, I hear
your St. Patrick was a faggot."

"Oh really, hmm, didn't know that."

Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies. "I told
him St. Patrick was a faggot and he didn't care!"

"You just don't know how to set him off, watch and learn."
The second Englishman walked over and tapped the Irishman
on the shoulder. "I hear your St.Patrick was a transvestite
faggot!"

"Oh, wow, I didn't know that, thank you."

Shocked beyond belief, the Englishman went back to his
buddies. "You're right. He is unshakable!"

The third Englishman said "No, no, no, I will really piss him
off, you just watch."

The Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on
the shoulder and said... "I hear your St. Patrick was an
Englishman!"

"Yeah, that's what your buddies were trying to tell me."
 
herbose

herbose

Well-Known Member
This young man is trying to get his girl friend to go all the way. He
begs and whines and wheedles until she gives in.

She says, "All right, but you have to promise you'll only put it in half
way."

Of course, the first thing the kid does is drive that baby right on home
all the way.

She finds that she kind of likes the feel of it. "Say, how about
putting in the other half?"

 
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