Dirty Harry
Well-Known Member
Outstanding!
Pix That Make You LOL-Warning-SNWS
- Thread starter Big P
- Start date
Winter Woman
Well-Known Member
Winter Woman
Well-Known Member
Getting old in Florida
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch in Bonita Springs , doing nothing.
One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'
The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'
The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'
The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'
**********************************************************
Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home in Ft. Lauderdale reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece..
The third old lady remarked, 'I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about.'
**********************************************************
A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community.. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?'
He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'
'So, where were you all these years?'
'In prison,' he says.
'Why did they put you in prison?'
He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'
'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'
**********************************************************
A man was telling his neighbor in Miami , 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty.'
**********************************************************
A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper', an ice cream parlor in Naples , and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids'.
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch in Bonita Springs , doing nothing.
One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'
The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'
The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'
The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'
**********************************************************
Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home in Ft. Lauderdale reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece..
The third old lady remarked, 'I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about.'
**********************************************************
A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community.. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?'
He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'
'So, where were you all these years?'
'In prison,' he says.
'Why did they put you in prison?'
He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'
'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'
**********************************************************
A man was telling his neighbor in Miami , 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty.'
**********************************************************
A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper', an ice cream parlor in Naples , and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids'.
woodsmaneh!
Well-Known Member
[FONT="]Comment by Andy Rooney: [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]"As I grow in age, I value women over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]If a woman over 50 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Older women are forthright and honest.. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed,[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]hot woman over 50, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?' Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!"[/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]"As I grow in age, I value women over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]If a woman over 50 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Older women are forthright and honest.. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed,[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]hot woman over 50, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?' Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!"[/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
woodsmaneh!
Well-Known Member
[FONT="]A man walks into a pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?'
'No', he replies, 'I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.'
The intrigued woman says, 'A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?'
The guy explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.'
The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?'
'Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.'
The woman giggles and replies, ' It must be broken because I am wearing panties!'
The guy smiles, taps his watch and says, 'Aye, the bloody thing's an hour fast!'[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?'
'No', he replies, 'I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.'
The intrigued woman says, 'A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?'
The guy explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.'
The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?'
'Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.'
The woman giggles and replies, ' It must be broken because I am wearing panties!'
The guy smiles, taps his watch and says, 'Aye, the bloody thing's an hour fast!'[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]
woodsmaneh!
Well-Known Member
This is 10 ca
StonedPony
Well-Known Member
cool so you log onto your computer as R2D2 woodsmaneh LOL
The Cryptkeeper
Well-Known Member
Sunni! Let me see a clear shot of your face!
The Cryptkeeper
Well-Known Member
Winter Woman
Well-Known Member
what kind of things can we not post on RIU? How far are we allowed to go? Is it allowed if a URL is used? I don't want to get kicked off.
I was sent a funny video but there is total nudity.
I was sent a funny video but there is total nudity.
Winter Woman
Well-Known Member
Now this is what you call TOO, TOO, TOO MUCH SNOW !!
These pictures were taken in Lead, South Dakota , on January 5, 2011
These pictures were taken in Lead, South Dakota , on January 5, 2011
EFILROFKGD
Active Member
as ;ong as its not porn its ok. we used to have a tasteful nudity thread
unorthodox
Active Member
this thread clearly says snws...some not work safe. another thread: hot women and cannabis (the exact name sips my mind) had a comment saying the posts of nude men would be better suted for the female followers and said thread should not be allowed. my reply to that was something along the lines of, if i read a thread that was named big cocks and big colas i would not click the link...my point being that we are all over 18 snwf, nsfw, nude...they are clearly posted warnings to a thread. although hardcore porn (peronally no problem when properly named) does not belong in a cannabis fourm. i believe that a thread thats properly named with a warning (such as this one) should permit such things as nipples, boobies, asses and even a few cocks all in the name of humor. hard core porn on the otherhand i have other sites for and do not expect here. thats just where i stand and if you have a questionable video feel free to pm me the link, its hard to offend me and i will give an honest opinion
`SoA || Asi
Well-Known Member
this allways cracks me up
[youtube]VFmOLHKfOK8[/youtube]
[youtube]VFmOLHKfOK8[/youtube]
Winter Woman
Well-Known Member
The 500 Dollar Car Wash V.S. the 5 Dollar Car Wash - Adult Content
http://www.blogdumpsvideo.com/action/viewvideo/1041/5_dollar_car_wash_vs__500_dollar_car_wash/
[video]http://www.blogdumpsvideo.com/action/viewvideo/1041/5_dollar_car_wash_vs__500_dollar_car_wash/[/video]
http://www.blogdumpsvideo.com/action/viewvideo/1041/5_dollar_car_wash_vs__500_dollar_car_wash/
[video]http://www.blogdumpsvideo.com/action/viewvideo/1041/5_dollar_car_wash_vs__500_dollar_car_wash/[/video]
Winter Woman
Well-Known Member
Winter Woman
Well-Known Member
An old fella was celebrating 92 years on this earth.
He spoke to his toes. "Hello toes.", he said.
"How are you? You know, you are 92 today.
Oh the times we've had!
Remember how we walked on the park in the summer every Sunday afternoon.
The times we waltzed on the dance floor? Happy Birthday toes!"
"Hello, knees.", he continued.
"How are you? You know you're 92 today.
Oh, the times we've had!
Remember when we marched in the parade?
Oh, the hurdles we've jumped together. Happy Birthday, knees."
Then, he looked down at his crotch.
"Hello Willie! You little bugger.
Just think. If you were alive today, you'd be 92.
He spoke to his toes. "Hello toes.", he said.
"How are you? You know, you are 92 today.
Oh the times we've had!
Remember how we walked on the park in the summer every Sunday afternoon.
The times we waltzed on the dance floor? Happy Birthday toes!"
"Hello, knees.", he continued.
"How are you? You know you're 92 today.
Oh, the times we've had!
Remember when we marched in the parade?
Oh, the hurdles we've jumped together. Happy Birthday, knees."
Then, he looked down at his crotch.
"Hello Willie! You little bugger.
Just think. If you were alive today, you'd be 92.