Dang that pesky sleep, missed all the good stuff again!
WHOA! me too! No sooner do I face plant than the party starts. Been that way all my life! Sheesh. But I must admit it is much safer today. Back in the day if you fell out to early your buds decorated you. I've been toilet papered and painted with sharpies and toothpaste and..... well never mind...... I think this virtual stuff rocks!
Ok I can't not tell this one. Once upon a time in a galaxy.... Ok I went over to my friend's house we were going to get wasted (what we called baking back in pre-hysterical times). So his girlfriend called him and he said I'll be right back.
Ever the thoughtful guest I waited until he closed the door and immediately lit up. Then I noticed the tequila. So I poured myself a glass (YES I SAID GLASS). It went south from there. After smoking myself insensate and drinking myself spastic I decided it was time for a snack.
I went to the frig and realized he was a bachelor! I then opened the cabinets, NOTHING! I then made the jump to the top of the kitchen counter and proceeded to toss this guys kitchen. I was laser focused on sweet. JACKPOT! An unopened jar of Aunt Jemima Pancake syrup.
Oh and now would be the time to mention my hair was past my waist (this is important). So I took my pancake syrup back to the table where I continued to entertain myself with shots of tequila, tokes of pot and pancake syrup as a beverage.
The last thing I remembered was taking the last shot of tequila picking up the last of the pancake syrup and tossing it back..... Unfortunately my gyros were off and the chair, in slow motion tumbled backwards with me sitting in it.
In the morning I woke up sitting on my back in a chair lying on the floor and I could not move. My hair had fanned out and the left over pancake syrup glued me to the ground I was like a fly on fly paper. I couldn't call for help (what a hangover). So there I laid until my friend who was not in much better condition than I crawled on out of bed and tripped over me.....
Had to regrow the hair again too sigh......
Here's why you shouldn't do meth though and yes, I have seen this first hand and hate my job on these days, lol
, but, if you really have no other options i have a whole bunch of soap that smell like coconuts and strawberries 
Hope alls well.
