I'm with you my friend - I've had the misfortune of having to do that several time to my Canine BFF's.
I feel like such a traitor even if it's the obvious "right" thing to do.
*groans* I KNOW! Especially since they really have no idea why you're at the vet, (unless, like our last dog, his spine was broken and he was in agony) I didn't feel as bad for that one. He was suffering, a decision had to be made right away, and even if he lived through it, he'd be paralyzed (not good for a herding dog) and need diapers. I will admit that it was somewhat easier under these circumstances both to make the decision AND to say goodbye. All I could think about was setting him free.. The vet (wonderful man) reminded me that dogs don't think as linear as people. They are always in the "now" so all he realized was that he felt tired/less pain. I clung to that as I let him go. My husband and son were on a fishing trip 9 hours drive away so it was just me.
The vet offered to stay with him for me: I said, "not on your life." While it would've been better to be able to lean on my husband, it was just too serious to wait. I brought him home and laid him in the garage with his bed, toys, and favorite blanket, THEN I could grieve over him in private. We buried him in out pasture on his hill where he loved to watch over the horses. And do you know what?? The very next morning through the fog, we could see the two horses standing by his grave. Not their typical morning spot. You could argue, I guess, that they were just curious about the overturned earth and the pile of rocks, but If you were actually there at that moment, you'd likely (as I did) think differently. That dog was with them for years, running right along side and lying around while they grazed.
here is a pic of that morning….
Geez! where did this post come from? Just came pouring out. I really miss him. He was a great dog.
