Hello my fellow travelers!
It was nice to pass 14 hours alongside such nice folks as yourselves today. I appreciate greatly that most of you were being very safe out there today.
However, I feel it necessary to inform you of my driving habits and policies, as it seemed quite a few of you were befuddled and confused by manner of driving. So, for your edification, I will spell it out as clearly as I can.
In the event that I am going 10 m.p.h. faster than the posted speed limit in the left lane and you find my pace to be lacking and request by tailgating, honking, flashing the lights, or making obscene gestures that I kindly move to the right lane, GO FUCK YOURSELVES.
If you do not like my speed, which is set by cruise control to the maximum speed which is still reasonable and prudent in the eyes of the numerous law enforcement officers patrolling this road, that is your problem. You may choose to pass me in the right lane while speeding when it is open, and at your own peril. Or you can go fuck yourself.
I refuse to yield my lane because it seems some of you have this annoying habit of tailgating me for counties at a time yet not passing me if I move over. Then when I want to get around the next RV/Tractor Trailer/stoned motorist/bus, you are right there and blocking my lane change. When said lane change does occur, it seems you are now suddenly going 5 m.p.h. slower than you were during that previous tailgating session and the roles become reversed.
I'm glad we had this chance to clarify my driving policies and habits. I hope we can move forward amicably from here.
Yours truly,
The guy in the Blue Honda
