OMG North Dakota is ND!!

NoDrama

Well-Known Member
Ok so maybe a few of you have wondered why that hell hole of a State, North Dakota, seems to plague me. Every time I look for some statistic to make a point it seems North Dakota keeps coming up. It pisses me off, because I really hate that state and I will tell you why.

Back quite some time ago I was in the USMC and had just finished the big basic technical school you go to learn your profession. Well the school was in Memphis, Tennessee and I had acclimated my self to the extreme heat and humidity for almost a year. I then had to go to a Navy base for a more advanced school that was located in Whidbey Island , Washington. North of Seattle. The place where they filmed "An officer and a gentleman". Well anyway It was February and I got orders to go, So I packed my meager belongings into my 1973 Dodge Challenger (383 with a 3 speed manual for you Mopar fans) and took off.

Used I 94 to get to Seattle, well 94 goes right through the middle of BFE North Dakota. Guess what? Its very, very, very much still winter in the middle of February in that state. Minnesota was a breeze, but as soon as I got past Fargo, North Dakota I ran into what I thought was hell itself. It wasn't snowing, but the wind was blowing like a Mutha fucker. It was blowing the snow around like crazy, and they had snow, holy shit there were drifts bigger than my entire car and some of them were starting to go across the interstate. Well guess what? Apparently when vehicles pack the snow down it turns to ice so black that you can't see it. well the friggin roads were made of that. A 73 dodge challenger is a front heavy, rear wheel drive monster. A 383 magnum engine made 335 horse. Also I was running summer bias ply tires ( anyone remember bias ply?) needless to say it was EXTREMELY difficult to keep the nose of the car pointing in the right direction.

I dug myself out ( no shovel, thanks floor mat)on two occasions, ran into only 2 signs and 1 pole. Put a small hole in my oil pan when I sheared off the sign that told me Bismarck was only 30 miles away. Apparently people who live in North Dakota are not stupid enough, nor numerous enough, to go out in this kind of weather. The only vehicles I really ever saw were freight trucks, and they don't stop for no one. A Highway patrolman did stop once when I was in the median in 5 feet of snow and he got me pulled out, so I was grateful for that. The roads got better the closer to Bismarck I got and thats when my oil light came on 2 miles out. So I limped my rig into a service station (remember those?) and had to end up getting a hotel room and use a cab to get around.

When I got to the room I looked at my left ear, the lobe was as black as pitch, frostbite! It hurt, but not as bad as my fingers which had also gotten a bit too cold while digging the car out. The fingers were a bit better the next day and survived, my ear lobe eventually fell off. Then the next day I found out how cold it had gotten, 48 below zero, and 68 below with the wind chill factor. Did you know that mercury freezes at -37F? I didn't, until the desk clerk at the hotel showed me. I got my car the next morning, got something to eat and headed out again. the wind had passed and the rest of the trip wasn't so bad, except the time I went off the road again, but that was in Montana.

Today I noticed that my Initials are ND and North Dakota is ND :wall:
 
I was born during a blizzard in April at Minot AFB. I remember my dad said three people were lost in the blizzard and froze that night on base.
 
lmao....no u cant drive a muscle car in the winter....especially without a trunk full of sand......lol i still get stuck in the dumptruck sometimes...
 
Had a saying about Minot AFB in the Air Force....Why not Minot...Freezin a good reason...I went TDY there once..TOO DAMN COLD AND TOO DAMN WINDY...Thankful I never had permanent orders to that hell hole
 
I lived in the interior of Alaska for several years & one winter it hit an official negative 73. No wind chill, that's straight up ambient temp.
Damn, nothing runs in that shit !
 
did many TDY's to Eielson AFB and Elmendorf AFB in Alaska...two more cold ass places..but love the fishing !!!!! and the land ( in the summer)
 
fuck north dakota.

i'll spin a tale as well. not as bad, but similar.

last november, i decided to drive to colorado for thanksgiving. well, the west was gripped by a massive blizzard at that time. i made it through oregon and idaho on roads made of snow. it took me 14+ hours to get to pocatello, which should be 10 hours easy in the summer. all the signs said "watch for ice on roads", but it was more like "watch for road under the ice".

i stayed overnight in pocatello. it was -30 that night with 50+ mph gusts and blowing snow. i didn't mind because it kept my beer cold, although i really couldn't breathe in that shit.

anyhoo, the next day i set out for denver, going through wyoming along the way. similarly bad conditions with snow blowing across the interstate sporadically and strongly. visibility would be fine one second, and zero visibility the next.

i was about 50 miles from cheyenne when i decided to stop for gas. i hit the off ramp going WAY too fast, started fishtailing, but eventually regained control. breathed a sigh of relief and then started tapping the brakes again to turn right off the ramp and into the gas station.

it turns out the brakes did not want to work on the patch of ice i was on and nearly put my car into the ditch. as i was sliding, all i could think was "1800 miles without an incident, and you are going to eat it here, a mere 300 miles from the destination". by some grace of god i was able to stop with my back tires still on the pavement, front tires in a snow bank.

i went about 30 mph the rest of the way there, it took me 6 or 7 hours to do what would have been 3 at most in the summer.

it was about the same on the way back. fuck wyoming too.
 
You should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque. ;)

[video=youtube;e8TUwHTfOOU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8TUwHTfOOU[/video]
 
You should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque. ;)

[video=youtube;e8TUwHTfOOU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8TUwHTfOOU[/video]
Bugs bunny is racist and wants slavery, you can tell by the way he says "Wait a Cotton Pickin Minute" at :22. Obviously referencing the only job that slaves could do, pick cotton.
 
Nice Story, I enjoyed it as an experienced snow driver Ive seen it all, it can happen to anyone. Although the only times I go in the ditch lately is when people crash in front of me. In michigan if you gently slide into someone you both just keep going. Kinda like bumper cars. j/k not realy but yea people go in the ditch all the time fun times, old people find it very entertaining to watch us dig their cars out.
 
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