Nothing Even Matters Anymore?

Greenplease said:

Are those "fuckers" wrong for doing that?! I mean, their country was invaded for no particular reason! What would you do?

And to the fella who acually went to these wars. While I think it is totally important to not regret anything. Surely you must regret your government's desicion to send you there in the first place? I like your mentality on not wishing war on anyone though, if an actual ex-soldier feels this way, I don't really understand what is going on in the world these days. It's all pretty fucked up.
Y
And to High hgih, my wife has had on and off depression for as long as I can remember, and she goes through many of the same things as what you have been explaining. What has been said is true, doctor's or more so, psyciatrists know almost nothing about depression, they just take in the information you give them (symptoms and what not) and prescibe the drug that their little text book tells them to. You should go see a psycologist man. Do some therapy, it can teach you a lot about yourself, and maybe get you thinking on a different wave length.

Also, educate yourself a little, some authors I can recomend to you that deal with psyco-analysis and psycology: Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, Friedrich Nietzsche, there are many more obviously. But these guys are the kings of the psycological world. Anyway get reading, the human mind and how and why it works the way it does is incedible, there is so much to learn that most people have absolutely no idea about (including doctor's). Honestly after knowing my wife, it opened my eye's so, so much. Don't be afraid to tackle this shit head on. It's worth it.

My wife no longer takes any drugs, she has the odd set back every now and then, but nothing in comparison to what she used to go through. She went to therapy, and still does once every 2 week for an hour or so, and she reads like a maniac! And it does help. I have read a lot aswell, even though I'm o.k, but it taught me of a world that more and more people are starting to experience, it can be pretty scary man, but your ultimate goal must be to surpass it, no?

Anyway man, that's my advice. Take it or leave it. Up to you!

Peace

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My friend let me start by telling you this. We had the Iraqi army stopped in 2 weeks. We weren't fighting Iraqis. We were fighting the Taliban. You obviously don't know what your talking about so I'm not gonna respond to anything else you said.

This is for the OP.

I know what your saying man, I feel like I should be happy but I'm not. My dad straight up asked me the other day if I was depressed, cause all I do is work all day and than pretty much do nothing.

I've felt like this for as long as I can remember. Weed just cheers me up, keeps me chill. I used to worry alot as a young kid, now I really just don't give a shit what happens, it's usually negative bunk

I feel like in the end life is pretty much pointless.

BUT I've actually tried this optimistic positive feeling mind over matter shit kinda actually works if you put your mind to it I guess.

Pretty much music and weed gets me through shit.

And high, sorry. Didn't intend to hijack your thread. A positive outlook leads to a positive attitude. A postive attitude builds good character. If you make an effort everyday to improve the human being you are you'll feel a sense of accomplishment. If you don't take a step up the ladder you'll never get to the top.

high|hgih said:

But if YOU understand that THEY don't understand, shouldn't you not hate it when people do it?

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no because people ask it all the time and itsd fucking annoying and when you tell them about how it was they begin to judge you as a bad person. I did shit im not proud of, It was a job, i went to work like everyone else except my office was a helicopter and my tool was a 50cal.

get off the meds... and start mega dosing B vitamins and eating lots of veggies and fruits (fresh fruit whole fruit, not juice)
and yer depression will go away

bleev me bro
i used to write "i want to die" in the snow every winter... and this is the ONLYZ thing that helped
i also quit drinking

This is for the OP.

I know what your saying man, I feel like I should be happy but I'm not. My dad straight up asked me the other day if I was depressed, cause all I do is work all day and than pretty much do nothing.

I've felt like this for as long as I can remember. Weed just cheers me up, keeps me chill. I used to worry alot as a young kid, now I really just don't give a shit what happens, it's usually negative bunk

I feel like in the end life is pretty much pointless.

BUT I've actually tried this optimistic positive feeling mind over matter shit kinda actually works if you put your mind to it I guess.

Pretty much music and weed gets me through shit.

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Dude I am exactly the same. I have the positive days its just the days were I am thinking.. And have time to think.. No matter how positive what I am thinking aobut is, there is always a dark side of it too.... Like, if I have more confidence and I am happy and feel accomplished. 10 minutes later, I feel as if I made an ass of myself, and if I have too much attention at one time, I will go from making the room laugh, to me just sitting in the corner ashamed of my attention, because I feel like an attention whore and I feel like everyone else is thinking the same way I am about the situation, because in the back of their mind they have to think, 'damn, you cocky ass son of a bitch' or maybe THEY are the attention whore and think 'Look at that fucker getting al the attention!' Or maybe they hate me to begin with because I talk to someone they don't like, and then if I attract too much attention to myself they will make my life hell by saying shit behind my back, that isn't true, and I don;t know about, making some secret anit me cult. It has happened before. I have caught people on facebook saying that they hate me, when I have NEVER even laid eyes on them in my life, just because the few people I don't get along with because they are cocky and robots doing the same thing everyday, making fun of all their friends, stealing from their friends, yet they have friends that look up to them?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?! wtf. Then they believe it and talk shit on me when they are too smacked up to see whats really going on.. Nobody cares to take a look and think aobut the way someone is thinking, and see why they maybe just sit there in the corner with a grin on their face, or if they are just sitting their blushing that they are just too modest to do anything because they aren't used to it. My problem is that I can't get out and talk to people unless I am drugged up. If I am sober, I really do just sit there and not talk, and then when someone talks to me, my voice squeaks, and I choke up and say something just completely out of the point and fucked up. I really could care less how unhealthy and bad those ADD pills are, they are the ONLY thing that has helped. My diet is great! I made it awesome sophomore year once I got into all the meditation and lucid dreaming and guess I just got in the habit.. I RARELY drink, eat plenty of fruits, veggies, I do D, B, fsh oil all that good stuff in the monring.. Have all my food good.. I just.. I don't know.. I lead myself to believe all this stuff about myself, and then tell myself that that is not why I am this way, when it obviously is, but it just.. I can't figure it out. Its not placebo, I REALLY don't think it is.. Its not because I BELIEVE that I have bad anxiety, I have tried that mind over mass stuff all my life and the only thing that helps me express my feelings to people, and talk normal to people is to be fucked up. Not necassarily fucked up, but tussinex helps, my ADD meds(concerta 72mg), WEED. drinking just makes me look like a jackass.. But its the only time when I am happy and can talk.. But the worst part is.. I only know a total of 0 people who understand.. I can complain and complain.. But no advice is good enough, never has been, I take it, go by it for 8 years, nothing. I believe in myself, only to lead myself bawling my eyes out over nothing watching fucking windows media player videos while stoned alone.. I don't know....

AND, I limited my tripping to once a month, except with this acid frenzy I have had going on.. I'm done with that rabbit business, my kids gonna get that one Hopefully I find another girl too.. That doesn't even hold me together though.. I am EXTREMELY paranoid.. It doesn't seem like it if you are around me or with me, but if I trip with somneone, I won;t BE paranoid THEN, but I will completely open up and tell my trip partner how fucked up my paranoia is with everything and they will just not understand and nod their head... Its not that I don;t trust the girls(NOT ALWAYS TRUE.) its that I don;t trust anyone else..... And why wouldn;t the girl do something with them? Why am I more special than any other dude when I don;t even talk, and when I do, they think I'm insane just because they are insane in a different way and don;t get it? I have accidentally made some girls cheat on their boyfriends, they just did it like that! BAM. wtf. Why wouldn;t they do that to me?!?!?

man, everything you just described is what goes on in my head pretty much 24/7... literally. I think about the same things with people, they make me mad, shit in this world is so backwards. My best buddy since grade one, was the nicest guy, everyone loved him, but I later found out he was stealing money from me! I was soooo pissed. I fuckin choke up when talking to people and say retarded shit that noone gets, my voice fucks up, my jokes are fuckin lame as hell, but than I have moments were I can talk talk talk and people seem to like my jokes haha. I spend majority of my time silent sitting back and just watching things unfold, I go to clubs once in a while with my one good buddy and just sit back and can't help but think everyone is acting like apes and the music is the tribal beat. I spend most of my time chillin with my girlfriend smoking in random parking lots, my life is as dull as it gets.

seriously man everything except the ADD and meds part is exactly the same with me. I don't neeeed to be fucked up to talk to people, I prefer it, but I also feel with myself being sober also helps collect my thoughts and I can sometimes feel comfortable talking to people. I gotta work at it to get better at it.

I can't tell you how to fix it cause I'll always feel this way. Nothing interests me unless its music, weed, movies, and end of the world scenarios. The only thing I'd say is be comfortable with who you are, and be totally honest with yourself. Be who you are and fuck the rest man, I spent so much time worrying about other people and what they're thinking that now im just like fuck it. But you've probably already been told all of this. Also I found out awkward situations happen to alot more people than I used to think, it atleast made me not feel so stupid after talking to people.

Hmm, that is awesome! well not for you, but I thought I was complketely alone on all of it.. I have a couple people I can talk to sober, but most of the time when I can ;t think of anything to say, I will tell a high story, then be ashamed of myself thinking thats all I talk about.. -.- its just all fucked up. The only thing that I can do sober to collect my thoughts is meditate.. When I am even high for god sakes, I swear I have had ego death from just weed, for some reason I am really sensative to it, and I just love it. I will smoke maybe two bowls, and lay in my bed and just think because I can organize my thoughts perfectly, not out loud, in my head, my ADD pills help me with the out loud thing. But I have seriously had some high times where I realize I am worth nothing and have some GIANt epiphany that leaves me in tears for hours.... Just like I will just bawl. Its embarrassing, but its true, and it feels good.. Maybe I will be listening to a song that sends those shivers down my spine and that will push tears out.. Soimetimes its not even depression, for some reason nostalgic feelings make me tender as hell, they are what REALLY get me thinking, how I USED to spend my leisure time and have fun, how the grass was greener, blah blah blah.. Now everything is just gray, except for maybe one day a week, or when I am high with a good friend..

LOL end of the world scenarios, thats awesome! I have dreams of that sometimes, and they are always really interesting, like once.. Fuck I really don;t feel like typing it out.. Lol but you get the gist..

I can;t say fuck the rest, because its what keeps me running, knowing that at least a few people will be here, if I need them.. Its the only true happiness that comes to me.. The only 'butterflies' I will ever feel come from that..

Have you ever maybe looked into trying ADD pills for a week or two? You really might be surprised, if you are anything like me, I use concerta if it helps. Maybe ask your dealer for some? Just take about 40=60mg and see how it goes, you aren't 'high' really, just you can organize and understand things much better, its not a level of if you can MAKE yourself do it or not.. You just CAN'T and I am sure you know what I am tlaking about, it has to do with the molecules being released out of your brain glands, and concerta works on your dopamine and another one, unlike amphetamines. Concerta is seriously my miracle pill.. Placebo or not, it works either way..

I've thought I had add before but I don't like taking too much pills, just isn't for me. But I didn,t mean fuck everyone haha sorry if it sounded that way, I got a couple close friends that I stick with and I know I can trust. It's hard for me to meet people and I think alot of people think of me as a weird, awkward, quiet, social outcast. The people close to me is what keeps me going. My girlfriend is the exact same too, shes quiet, sits back rather than talks, shes even way more paranoid than I am. My thoughts are scattered all the time and I feel like I think about everything at once and than It just disappears out of my head when I have to explain whatever I was just thinking. Meditating actually helps me alot, I try to stick with it but I usually get too stoned and fall asleep. But really man your totally not worth nothing... typical thing to say I know... and I know you don't feel like that all the time. but It's important for people to sit back and think about stuff like the world and what is going on around them and how other people are effected by your actions and stuff, It's the fact that majority of the people don't and majority of the people are tooo into themselves is what makes the select few quiet people look different. I could just be talking out of my ass but this is just how I feel. It's shitty being the quiet background guy but I feel like it's got it's advantages

akgrown said:

no because people ask it all the time and itsd fucking annoying and when you tell them about how it was they begin to judge you as a bad person. I did shit im not proud of, It was a job, i went to work like everyone else except my office was a helicopter and my tool was a 50cal.

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I'm all for killing folks that want to harm our way of life. If someone else wants to judge you for doing your job, fuck 'em. It's a question I like to ask of veterans that I don't personally know to get an idea of where they're at mentally. Worst case you get a "I'd rather not talk about it," and you know to be careful around certain issues. Every once in a while you get a psycho that will imitate the sound someone makes when you gut them. love it.

cadeneli said:

My friend let me start by telling you this. We had the Iraqi army stopped in 2 weeks. We weren't fighting Iraqis. We were fighting the Taliban. You obviously don't know what your talking about so I'm not gonna respond to anything else you said.

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I'm totally aware that this war is essentially against the Taliban. And in all it's essence, it is the right thing to do. But why then have so many innocent been killed?

I have been researching these wars since they began, I obviously don't have first hand experience and would never compare what I know about the specific places and parts of the war you were in, with what you know. But from all the researching, reports, wikileaks, articles, quantity of innocents reported dead (and that's only what has been reported!) that I have been through, this war just doesn't add up man. I'm sorry, anyway, I don't agree with it. And we will have to agree to disagree man, I was never trying to offend you, just putting my personal opinion out there.

I meant no disrespect and hope you hold no grudge toward me.

Peace.

you guys do realise that highhigh just put a copy/paste message from fudge my life website no? and I'm stoned as ...

Jules and High:

While I have never personally experienced being depressed or aleast what is considered clinically depressed, I have experienced it heavily indirectly. I have too, had thoughts like you guys have been describing pass through my head, but one thing that my wife said is that, when you think that way, you have to let yourself forget about the thoughts and move on. I have often wondered if I made an ass outta myself in front of everyone, I think most people have, but the key is to forget about it, and just keep going. Noone else is sitting there thinking "man high just made a dick out of himself, I'm gonna sit here and ridicule him so much that he never forget's it" you know? So what is the point in you doing that exact same thing, and becoming upset or down about it?!

Another example from my lady, she is constantly talking about how she is fat and ugly (she is grogeous and average weight) and too embarrased to be in public, and I basically ask her, do you really think that other people are so worried about your life, that they really give a shit about how you look?? You can't dwell on these things, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, and infact should be totally proud of who you guys are!

Please I beg you guy's, if you can get your heads around the ideas (I'm almost certain you will relate completely) read some of Carl Jung's literature, read some of Freidrich Neitszche's books, Deepak Chopra, Sigmund Freud (had similar train of thought with Jung, but their ideas turned out being rekatively contradicting) I'm almost certain they will help you!!

I hope you guy's find some peace and tranquility, some value in your lives! It can deffinately be hard.

Greenplease said:

Also, JustAnother, have you read The Red Book by Carl Jung? If that doesn't spark some interest, then I don't know what will hahaha. That guy had some incredible theories!

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No but ill be sure to check it out if its cheap on amazon

Wait what did Icopy and paste? lol
I wouldn't doubt it if I did something like that haha

Wait no I read everything, I didn't copy and paste shit..
I'm so confused lol

Give a link

what you need is a good meth habit, give you energy, hitting the rock 24/7 until your teeth rot and you permenantly damage your brain and can't think about this anymore. YOU NEED CRYSTAL METH.

LOL fuck that.

cheer up emo kid you're making baby jesus cry.