New Story

Alright RIU this will be my second story I will post as I write, the first one that was horror related I've put on indefinite hiatus cause I got stuck and said fuck it I want to make this one "epic" almost cinematic. Ive got the first two paragraphs, let me know what you think, as always, these are rough copies, so be gentle stay blazed all sorry about the small font, only way it would all stay intact

Led

Endless plains surrounded the tranquility of the spot where I stood. Peering into the distance I beheld the vastness of
eternity. How strange I thought to myself, that eternity felt similiar to oblivion. Nothingness, a sentence of living permanently in a realm
with only my thoughts to keep my sanity. A paradoxical fate, for having one's thoughts in this state would surely lead to insanity. I looked above
and beheld a beautiful night sky filled with stars innumerable. The moon shining rays of purest white served as the only illumination of my fate.
Even the smallest light shines in the darkness. I became aware of footsteps that slowly moved towards me. As I turned to see the source of the
noise the footsteps stopped.


Standing still a boy peered towards the night sky and without a word he looked upon me. As I saw clearly who he was I dropped
to my knees. Tears fell to the ground as I struggled to speak. "Az...real?" I managed to choke out. "What are you doing here?" Azreal remained
silent. "Why did you leave, why didn't you take me with you?" I asked my brother. After a short pause he pointed behind me, beckoning me to
turn around. As I peered into eternity once more the soft moonlight was being extinguished in the distance. Darkness permeated throughout. I looked
towards every direction as the darkness consumed everything around me and as it crept ever closer I saw the cause. Clouds darker than the night
extinguished all light as they advanced closer to Azreal and I. Lightning flashed constantly below, and a sudden wind gusted from every direction.
I looked to the night sky before it was finally overtaken. Freezing rain fell from the skies as I was pelted from every side from the gusts.
I reached out to Azreal, I had to protect him. Without word or expression he turned away from me and slowly walked into the darkness until finally
he was consumed. "Azreal, Come Back!" I yelled as I tried desperately to stand up. A strong gust of wind combined with a wall of freezing rain
knocked me back down. With all the effort I could muster I stood and ran in the direction he had walked. Lightning illuminated the area and after running
and calling his name for what seemed like hours. It was then I realized that he was gone. Defeated and alone, I could do nothing but sit and cry as storms of
oblivion raged overhead.

I should probably mention that ^^^^^ is a dream, decided to start the story off with a dream, cliche I know

For this part I would appreciate some feedback, should I start the "action" right away, or would that seemed to force, should I let them mellow at their academy a bit first? I can make that knock be one of two people, I can make it a herald of the king, announcing an incursion into their homeland requiring all students to immedietly be shipped out, or I can make it some trivial matter, you decide RIU

Led


"Azal!" Someone yelled. I woke up with a start, and proceeded to rub my eyes as they adjusted to the sudden brightness. "You're going to
be late, we have to hurry and get to our last class!" Asher yelled, looking through the drawers for his uniform.
"Ugh, what time is it?" I asked, still groggy and un-coordinated.
"It's almost noon man, we've got fifteen minutes or were busted" Still searching frantically through the rest of his drawers.
"Alright, I'm up" I said as I rose from my bed and walked over to my dresser. Our dorm room was barely large enough to house two people,
I would have applied for a single room but they were expensive. Money was not something that I had in great quantities. I quickly found my uniform and was
dressed within five minutes. Asher followed me out the door with a sandwich in his mouth as he locked it.
"Exams are comming up, you nervous?" He asked between bites of his sandwich.
"Not at all." I said.
"Shit man, I'm shaking in my boots over it. They haven't even announced what the final exam will be." A couple of girls in the year below us smiled in our
direction as we entered the couryard. Asher spotted them, and hastfully homed in on them. One of them waved at me, tripping over nothing I quickly regained my
composure and waved awkwardly back. She giggled to her friend as Asher approached them. I walked out of the courtyard and heard Asher say "Ladies, Ladies!"
So much for making it on time I thought to myself. Quickly I headed upstairs to my class just as the bell rang. Politcal sciences and History were mandatory
for all students, I didn't see any use for the class. Were here to change the tides of war, not negotiate a surrender. I sat down in my seat at the back of the class
and opened my book to where we had left off. Two minutes later a winded Asher broke through the door, the instructor shot him a dirty look as he quietly sat down
next to me.
"Alright students, this is our last class so let's re-cap some of the content. What was the cause of the war, and when did it officially start?" Everyone
remained silent. The instructor surveyed the class looking for a victim. "You, Azal. What was the cause?"
"The Easterlings and Southerners, a highly industrilized nation used up all resources that were available to them. Their land which was once green and
flourishing had become a badlands of sorts. We had a treaty shipping aid to them, and helping to re-build their devastated ecosystems. However; they
did not appreciate the help we were giving them. So they declared war to take what they believe is rightfully theirs."
"Very good, a textbook answer. Asher, when did they officially declare war?" Asher was in some sort of stupor, probably thinking about those girls. I
nudged him with my elbow.
"What?!" He yelled, obviously annoyed I broke his daydream. The instructor cleared his throat loudly and repeated his question.
"My bad, they declared war exactly 30 years ago next week. A solar eclipse was interpreted by them as a sign that they had divinity on their side." Asher
replied.
"Excellent, that is correct. They have waged a war against us based on the idea that divine powers believe that we are the enemy, and stole what was
once theirs." The instructor said. "For thirty years we have defended our borders, alas as of late it seems with the Easterlings convincing the Southerners to join
their cause we are outnumbered." As he finished his sentence there was a loud knock on the front door.

Very good... I have to say, there isn't much "story" reading I tend to do on the internet, and dispite the small ass font it held my attention nonetheless. The intricate weaving of vocabulary in the first post especially, very well written... Now then, you said so yourself you want it to be "epic, almost cinematic", and what's better than jumping in with action? Almost any movie you see nowadays (most anyways) starts off with action, therefore this should too =) Keep it up!

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