I've put this on another site and am hoping to get some insight.
This is a difficult thing for me to write, mostly because I'm not entirely sure how to explain how I'm feeling. I've been a lurker on this site for quite some time and have been having some serious problems and decided to make an account and see what you guys have to say. Please bare with me while I try to explain this, and I really hope I can find some nice friends on here to talk to, I need it.
I've been smoking off and on for a few years now, so I'm definitely not a newbie by any means. But I had to stop while I was in the military, and I didn't really start back up, smoking evert day, until a few months ago. One of these times when I first started back up, I smoked a lot and got extremely high. It felt like I was completely detached from the world, my brain kept, moving in circles and I was in this trance. It didn't feel like I was dead, more like that I knew what the world really was. I kind of felt the world, and each second, was like this video:
Only instead of it zooming back in at the end, it zoomed out even further to start itself over again. Anyways, I guess I felt like I knew that that was how the world really was. That none of us really exist, it's all inside my mind. This went on for what I assume was a few hours and then I eventually woke up. I felt detached, cold, like nothing made sense anymore. But eventually all my warm feeling came back and I started to view the world as what we all see it for.
But sometimes, if I smoked a lot, I could get back to that trance level. It scared me, I didn't like being like that, and eventually I got used to smoking so much that I really couldn't get back to that level.
Then one night I decided to eat someediblesI made, and do .4 Molly and then smoke a lot. A first I didn't really feel anything, but eventually it all became way too much and I was freaking out. I felt insanely cold, time started to move and I would black out for seconds at a time. I felt like I couldn't talk but I was having conversations with people and they understood what I was saying. I became very uncomfortable with where I was and eventually ended up at a friends where I felt safe and could sleep it off.
Now, whenever I smoke, it becomes very easy for me to get into this trance feeling, where nothing is real. Before, it would take a few grams of smoking to get me like that, after the incident with Molly, sometimes I get that way after 1-2 bowls. It's seriously scary and I feel detached from the whole world. If I do something a certain way, it feels like it triggers it, but even if I don’t it just sneaks up on me. Humans, animals, nature, none of it makes sense, nothing makes sense. I feel like rooms and houses are just cages. I can't really explain it, but it's been freaking me out. I stated to go into one of these trances and I realized it, got up and tried to move around, bringing myself to reality, but it didn't work. It all felt like a horrible twisted dream where my stomach hurts and everything is spinning and not making sense.
I still feel completely detached and honestly feel afraid that nothing is real. I'm just hoping some people on here can comment about an experience they had or if you could give me advice. I'm going to stop smoking for a while. I miss the calming effect it used to have on me, but now I just get into this weird zone and it's just...it's not good. Sorry if I'm not making too much sense, I just don't know how to explain everything. So please comment so I have someone to talk to about this.
This is a difficult thing for me to write, mostly because I'm not entirely sure how to explain how I'm feeling. I've been a lurker on this site for quite some time and have been having some serious problems and decided to make an account and see what you guys have to say. Please bare with me while I try to explain this, and I really hope I can find some nice friends on here to talk to, I need it.
I've been smoking off and on for a few years now, so I'm definitely not a newbie by any means. But I had to stop while I was in the military, and I didn't really start back up, smoking evert day, until a few months ago. One of these times when I first started back up, I smoked a lot and got extremely high. It felt like I was completely detached from the world, my brain kept, moving in circles and I was in this trance. It didn't feel like I was dead, more like that I knew what the world really was. I kind of felt the world, and each second, was like this video:
Only instead of it zooming back in at the end, it zoomed out even further to start itself over again. Anyways, I guess I felt like I knew that that was how the world really was. That none of us really exist, it's all inside my mind. This went on for what I assume was a few hours and then I eventually woke up. I felt detached, cold, like nothing made sense anymore. But eventually all my warm feeling came back and I started to view the world as what we all see it for.
But sometimes, if I smoked a lot, I could get back to that trance level. It scared me, I didn't like being like that, and eventually I got used to smoking so much that I really couldn't get back to that level.
Then one night I decided to eat someediblesI made, and do .4 Molly and then smoke a lot. A first I didn't really feel anything, but eventually it all became way too much and I was freaking out. I felt insanely cold, time started to move and I would black out for seconds at a time. I felt like I couldn't talk but I was having conversations with people and they understood what I was saying. I became very uncomfortable with where I was and eventually ended up at a friends where I felt safe and could sleep it off.
Now, whenever I smoke, it becomes very easy for me to get into this trance feeling, where nothing is real. Before, it would take a few grams of smoking to get me like that, after the incident with Molly, sometimes I get that way after 1-2 bowls. It's seriously scary and I feel detached from the whole world. If I do something a certain way, it feels like it triggers it, but even if I don’t it just sneaks up on me. Humans, animals, nature, none of it makes sense, nothing makes sense. I feel like rooms and houses are just cages. I can't really explain it, but it's been freaking me out. I stated to go into one of these trances and I realized it, got up and tried to move around, bringing myself to reality, but it didn't work. It all felt like a horrible twisted dream where my stomach hurts and everything is spinning and not making sense.
I still feel completely detached and honestly feel afraid that nothing is real. I'm just hoping some people on here can comment about an experience they had or if you could give me advice. I'm going to stop smoking for a while. I miss the calming effect it used to have on me, but now I just get into this weird zone and it's just...it's not good. Sorry if I'm not making too much sense, I just don't know how to explain everything. So please comment so I have someone to talk to about this.
