Need a 100% working piss cleaner

A

AlphaMale706

Well-Known Member
please if you know that they work for sure let me know...

im gonna try to join the military and dont really wanna wait for my system to be clean...

any ideas?
 
droogz

droogz

Active Member
It all depends on how much you smoke. If you smoke every day then it may take a while to clean your system. If you smoke once a month then its different. The best way is to not smoke for a week or two.

The method if I am every in the situation is drink one gallon of water and take 4 Tylenol two hours before the test and a high dose of b-12. From what I understand they water will dilute the test the b12 will give your pee a orange color again (i know from taking vitamins it can) and the tylenol will help with giving you a negative. Also try not to get a morning test when your urine the strongest. Go for later in the day.

I am sure they will give you a quick test and not worry about it. They need more targets.
 
bradlyallen2

bradlyallen2

Well-Known Member
They will watch the urine exit your body and they use gas chromatography to analyze the sample. My advice will be to wait because if you test positive you will NEVER get a second chance with uncle sam.
 
A

AlphaMale706

Well-Known Member
well it takes 90 days if you fail...i think i will wait but i know there is one cleaner that works i just know the armys tests are HELLA tough so i dont think ill play around with that.
 
DoobyDoo

DoobyDoo

Well-Known Member
If you don't want to wait for your body to clean out naturally and still want to be safe, do this:

Stop smoking at least a week before your test. Drink at least 2 gallons of water per day during this time. You'll be pissing about once an hour, it is annoying as hell, but it works. Go to your local pharmacy and pick up a self-test kit, run it a couple days before. Make sure you pee several times before you go to the test, as things tend to accumulate in urine overnight. Don't have too much water in your system when you go to the test, if your urine is too diluted they can mark that as a 'masking agent' and fail.

As someone else said, uncle sam won't be giving second chances. I'd suggest just sucking it up, not smoking for at least two weeks and drinking lots of water during that time. If you get into the military, you can't smoke anyway so it'd be good practice.
 
OregonMeds

OregonMeds

Well-Known Member
Smoke as many bowls as you can the night before the test, then take an asprin an hour before the test. Won't help you pass but could save your life.

Don't join... Not now...
 
MissBehavin

MissBehavin

Active Member
I'v got 3 words for you. Go #1. It wont clean it, but it will give you a clean sample. Synthetic urine in a belt you wear around your waist with a little heat pack and a temp guage. I use it, and I have multiple friends that it works for. Check it out.
 
OregonMeds

OregonMeds

Well-Known Member
You can't use a wizzinator or fake urine or anything else, you'll be completely naked before peeing usually.

You actually do have to be clean, but I wouldn't guarantee success with any cleansing product, be clean.

Or again just don't join. There's no point in dying to save wall street or keep gas prices down, it's too late, and we aren't doing shit to really make a difference over there other than to make more radicals and future terrorists.

No matter what your recruiter says you will go to war. They lie btw...As in Duh...
 
N

NoDrama

Well-Known Member
Honorable service in the military is to be commended. You can pass the test, you just have to drink a shit ton of water and piss a couple of times. B12 will give it the yellow color it needs to pass the dilution test, also eating creatine will also make it pass the test. The first test they do is to ascertain if it is actually piss by testing for the creatine. If that passes then they do a quick scan for the illegal stuff, if nothing is noted you pass. If you drink 2 gallons of water and take the supplements and piss 2 times before you hit the recruiting station you will be golden!!

I used to get Piss tested in the Marine Corps all the time, sometimes as often as 2 times each month, always passed with this method. Now as a civilian there is no observer who gazes your dick to watch you pee in the cup, so I use Synthetic stuff.
 
T

TxSmoke

Active Member
I just posted this yesterday in a different drug test thread, so I'll quote myself to save time:

TxSmoke said:
The thing about drug tests that most people don't tell you (or that most don't know) is that your body doesn't have to be 100% clean in order to pass. Most tests have a threshold (usually 50mg/dl for THC) that has to be exceeded before your test will have a positive result. THC is stored in your fat cells so it is impossible to flush it all out in a short amount of time. All you want to do is water down your urine so that the THC level is below that threshold. Unfortunately if your urine is too watered down your test can also come back as positive, or they can make you retake the test. They usually measure creatinine levels and electrolyte levels in your urine to see if it is watered down, so here is what you do to trick the test:

1. Go to the store and buy several 1 gallon jugs of gatorade (flavor doesn't matter). Instead of drinking straight water, start mixing water and gatorade 50/50. The extra electrolytes in the gatorade will help keep your body's levels constant while you increase your fluid intake.

2. (optional) Go to GNC or any other health supplement store and buy a bottle or Creatine Monohydrate. It's cheap (usually around $20 for 1000g) and very safe. Mix 1 teaspoon (5g) into your water/gatorade mix 3-5 times a day in the days leading up to your test. This will help the creatinine levels in your urine remain constant.

3. On the day of the test, wake up several hours prior to your appointment and start drinking your water/gatorade mix. Try to urinate several times prior to taking the test to make sure THC levels in your urine remain low. THC is most abundant and the beginning and end of your urination. Urinate in the toilet for several seconds, fill up the cup, and then finish urinating in the toilet.

4. Don't smoke again until you know for sure that you passed. If they confront you about have a watered down urine sample, simply tell them that you've been having problems with cramps so you've increased your water intake. The worst they usually do is make you retake the test, which just gives your body more time to cleanse itself.

How do I know all this? I'm in the Army and I've been tested monthly for years now, and I've never been caught.
Click to expand...
If you are trying to join the Army, you will be drug tested at MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) the day you sign your contract. They won't test you when you ship out or when you get to basic training, so your next test won't be until you reach your first duty station (unless you have leave between basic and AIT, because the military almost always tests soldiers coming back from leave).

Being in the military will definitely make it harder to smoke, but it will also be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. At times it may suck, but when you look back later in life you will be thinking to yourself "I never thought I'd see or do half the shit I've done in the military!"
 
OregonMeds

OregonMeds

Well-Known Member
TxSmoke said:
At times it may suck, but when you look back later in life you will be thinking to yourself "I never thought I'd see or do half the shit I've done in the military!"
Click to expand...
But there's suck, and there's dead... Suck is fine.

I was in the Army it did suck at times, most times actually, but other stuff I'll never forget that were a lot of fun or whatever.
But I wouldn't gamble my life now to have any of that, you'll either see Iraq or Afghanistan and you'll have plenty of suck, with suck after suck after this really fuxking sucks. Hopefully you'll be fine if you do it.
 
P

Phinxter

Well-Known Member
one point not mentioned that i could see in txsmokes method . which will get you a pass if you add 1 more detail . canibinoids are stored in fat cells so on top of all of this
Quote:
Originally Posted by TxSmoke
The thing about drug tests that most people don't tell you (or that most don't know) is that your body doesn't have to be 100% clean in order to pass. Most tests have a threshold (usually 50mg/dl for THC) that has to be exceeded before your test will have a positive result. THC is stored in your fat cells so it is impossible to flush it all out in a short amount of time. All you want to do is water down your urine so that the THC level is below that threshold. Unfortunately if your urine is too watered down your test can also come back as positive, or they can make you retake the test. They usually measure creatinine levels and electrolyte levels in your urine to see if it is watered down, so here is what you do to trick the test:

1. Go to the store and buy several 1 gallon jugs of gatorade (flavor doesn't matter). Instead of drinking straight water, start mixing water and gatorade 50/50. The extra electrolytes in the gatorade will help keep your body's levels constant while you increase your fluid intake.

2. (optional) Go to GNC or any other health supplement store and buy a bottle or Creatine Monohydrate. It's cheap (usually around $20 for 1000g) and very safe. Mix 1 teaspoon (5g) into your water/gatorade mix 3-5 times a day in the days leading up to your test. This will help the creatinine levels in your urine remain constant.

3. On the day of the test, wake up several hours prior to your appointment and start drinking your water/gatorade mix. Try to urinate several times prior to taking the test to make sure THC levels in your urine remain low. THC is most abundant and the beginning and end of your urination. Urinate in the toilet for several seconds, fill up the cup, and then finish urinating in the toilet.

4. Don't smoke again until you know for sure that you passed. If they confront you about have a watered down urine sample, simply tell them that you've been having problems with cramps so you've increased your water intake. The worst they usually do is make you retake the test, which just gives your body more time to cleanse itself.

How do I know all this? I'm in the Army and I've been tested monthly for years now, and I've never been caught.


add this step ... do not do any excercise the day before or the day of your test as this will only release more canibinoids by burning fat cells
 
B

Bongulator

Well-Known Member
Depends a lot on your weight too. When I was in the Army, I was 5'10" and weighed 100 pounds even. Not much body fat there. I never failed a test. They were pretty damn sure I smoked pot, but because I never failed a test, not much they could do. They were so sure that when someone in the barracks was smoking pot, and the smell went through the ventilator to my captain's office on the first floor, he came straight to my room. (I was just reading, it was someone on the third floor, and they got busted.) When my captain told me I was going back to Grenada a second time, the way he told me was hilarious. I was on sergeant-of-the-guard at the desk and as he walked out the door, he said offhandedly, "Okay, specialist, you can go on back down to Grenada and smoke some more of that pot." And then he was gone, he left me no time to even reply. But my mouth was hanging open and I was speechless anyway.

A funnier piss test was in Grenada. They piss-tested us, and I'd smoked so much pot there, and was so absolutely positive I was going to fail, that I went into the wooden box we'd built as a bathroom, and toked on a spliff WHILE I pissed in the jar. But the tester dude saw we were all paranoid and freaking out, so he told us to calm down, he was going to leave the samples baking in the sun all day, and we'd all come up negative. And we did. (What a cool dude he was!) I might've passed anyway, because of my weight, but I don't know -- pot was $120 per POUND there, and I was toking down a good 15 or 20 joints a day. Shared with others, of course.
 
AKDrifter

AKDrifter

Well-Known Member
A word of caution.

If it is meps you will have time to study for that one, whatever method you choose. Dilute,vitimins and creatine.

Once you hit boot camp you may or may not get another. When I was there around 10pm of day two we got one after they had been doing all the in processing for about a day and a half. No time to prepair for that, and four days later three people got the boot for popping +.
 
stoverdro

stoverdro

Well-Known Member
alright im gonna tell you what worked for me YES IM IN THE MILITARY AND JOINED WITH A DIRTY SYSTEM!
here is how you do it.when you go to join for the military either way your gonan have to go through meps.they will make you stay at a hotel that night. when you wake up you jsut make sure you got a bottle of strip nc.it is in gnc.you can google it.get the 32 ounce bottle.yes it is alot of liquid and it tastes like shit but it works 100% i garuntee it.but there are rules to it ill state very easily for you. and if this works for the military it works for everything.
1-dont smoke 3 days prior.i only had 2 but take 3 to be safe.
2 drink 32 ounces of water before the test\drink the bottle of the nasty shit/then fill the empty bottle and drink it again.
3-piss at least 1 time before the test to get rid of the storages shit and make sure that the shits working.
4-do not shit....it will make it not work for some reason.
5-if you throw up do not iss the shit is out of your system say you are sick and cannot go as you have the throw up to prove it

as i said STRIP nc...the nc stands for natural cleanser. im pretty sure what it does is push it al to oyur blood or some shit and keeps it out of yur urine but my recruiter gave me this shit to help pass the test bro..it works..if you need anymore questions answered about the military in general or the joining process you can ask me in a message or jsut post on this.
of course there is other methods but they usually test for fake piss or cheap cleansers so this is the only one i know for 100% and it does cost like 60 bucks so...and dont take th epills get the drink...fruit punch tastes the best i think.
sorry if its long but tis worth the read!!
 
A

AlphaMale706

Well-Known Member
very very good posts guys it means i a lot...I LOVE RIU!!!!!

my thoughts on the whole thing....
When i was 17...im almost 23 now...i faild a piss test but i didnt try to pass...they gave me a letter saying i had to wait 90 days.

I have wanted to go into the army...my dads retired,sis is in too all my family. That sorta thing...I love my weed though...im sure that sounds crazy but this is the only place were i dont think i even need to explane my self.I had good job an was VERY close to saving my good light money...we all know how that is...then get laid off...also a week after i find out im gonna be a dad....my job will be back in a few months but it made me get kinda sick of the whole almost there feeling..(almost got the good start up money). I been using cfls though so i guess im gonna just kinda re think that army thing...However thanks so much for the info its always been in my plans to join the army. I just feel it would be much better if i wait a few years.Im glad you guys were there to help me. As a full time smoker/grower its always good to be able to pass a piss test for any reason...
 
stoverdro

stoverdro

Well-Known Member
Yeah as i stated i used that method and it is 100% garunteed. other things i have used but over longer periods of time..and as for the army if your looking for the army but to still be kinda jsut free look into the national gaurd...you get a wicked sign on bonus and get paid and shit but you will end up overseas but only one deployment rather than the regualr army all the time.
jsut some thigns to think about and everyone in the army still smokes theya re just careful and smoke less.
 
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