ClaytonBigsby
Well-Known Member
You folks know the sordid past between me and moms. She's always been more of an anchor around my life than a nurturer. She stunted my social growth and crushed my dreams; the pain exacerbated by my high IQ and ability to see the world for what it is, knowing I was crippled by her BS, never to reach the dreams I could have with a better parent. So, I find myself in a weird place, because she is not doing well, but her odds for full recovery are better than not. My dilemma is that I want to see her recover because she is my mom, and I think I will feel a sense of loss, even though she has never really been there for me anyway; you know, I will feel alone in the world, really. On the other hand, that fucking selfish bitch made every decision based on what was best for her and she has the compassion and awareness of a gnat. No real loss to society. She has a morphine drip and the temptation to squeeze the fucking bag until it empties is keeping me up at night. Part of me also feels like a giant burden and weight will be lifted off my shoulders, like a freed bird.
Do I squeeze the bag? Do I lay a pillow across her face? Should I let her live and just move and change my number so she wakes up with no idea where I went?
Torn, .....like an old sweater
Do I squeeze the bag? Do I lay a pillow across her face? Should I let her live and just move and change my number so she wakes up with no idea where I went?
Torn, .....like an old sweater
