Lonliness

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sunni

Administrator
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He's kinda right though, although for some it's not quite that simple. Immersion Therapy works, but it's best done in a controlled situation.

So he's right, if you can find a like minded group of people you will generally get positive feedback through the experience. So immersing yourself in it, despite your fears, over time helps to positively reinforce you.

It's not for everyone, and not for all cases. But it does work for some.
its called exposure therapy where i am at, and the person i quoted isnt speaking about controlled situations.

You actually need to learn how to properly do exposure therapy experience and thats best done with a trained professional not just willynilly throwing yourself into the situation to "retrain your amygdala " you're likely going to do much more harm by doing it like this than properly doing it.

im sure you know this given how much research youve done right ? ;)
 

DrKiz

Well-Known Member
its called exposure therapy where i am at, and the person i quoted isnt speaking about controlled situations.

You actually need to learn how to properly do exposure therapy experience and thats best done with a trained professional not just willynilly throwing yourself into the situation to "retrain your amygdala " you're likely going to do much more harm by doing it like this than properly doing it.

im sure you know this given how much research youve done right ? ;)
Yeah actually I do. And trained professionals I've found are nothing more than buffoons bumbling around in the dark.

Been there, tried that. Much better progress reading and applying myself. But, I'm also not weak and full of self limiting beliefs.

But hey, in severe cases I can understand. Yours must be pretty severe if you don't think you can attempt exposure alone with a group.

That must be pretty rough. But, for the average person with mild social anxiety... no therapist or psychologist (How many of these are failed and burnt out mental heads themselves anyways? lol) required. Just go do it.

Edit: More harm than good was a dozen pills a day down to none now. Some people like to read. I like to apply. Works better that way. :rolleyes:
 
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sunni

Administrator
Staff member
Yeah actually I do. And trained professionals I've found are nothing more than buffoons bumbling around in the dark.

Been there, tried that. Much better progress reading and applying myself. But, I'm also not weak and full of self limiting beliefs.

But hey, in severe cases I can understand. Yours must be pretty severe if you don't think you can attempt exposure alone with a group.

That must be pretty rough. But, for the average person with mild social anxiety... no therapist or psychologist (How many of these are failed and burnt out mental heads themselves anyways? lol) required. Just go do it.
Wow your entire post is filled with mental health stigmas and ignorance, and gaslighting..but mostly ignorance.

A trained professional doesn't need to go with you they usually dont. and you can certainly do exposure therapy by yourself without one no said you couldnt , but it requires some practice beforehand.

Just going without being ready can do more harm than good, and cause the person to have more issues and cause CPTSD.

Many people have severe disorders, telling them you cant do something and you are weak is such a shame, really pity that you had to resort to that

A trained professional can help you by teaching you many anxiety relaxing methods so you are prepared while you go on your exposure by yourself,
you also are given specific tasks and accomplishes to build up your confidence this controls your panic and anxiety while winning.
a panic disorder patient who is afraid of concerts, wont just succeed in helping themselves if they go to a concert right off the bat

but working up to a concert can effectively help them reduce their anxiety, they can do this by going to more crowded places over the course of a specific time frame the therapist and patient come up with and working on anxiety reducing therapeutic methods that are scientifically backed will help them achieve success when they do go to that concert, similar with planes, crowded areas, etc.



I can assure you Im not weak, and Im sure many of the medical professionals here agree with my stance.
 

Aussieaceae

Well-Known Member
Yeah actually I do. And trained professionals I've found are nothing more than buffoons bumbling around in the dark.

Been there, tried that. Much better progress reading and applying myself. But, I'm also not weak and full of self limiting beliefs.

But hey, in severe cases I can understand. Yours must be pretty severe if you don't think you can attempt exposure alone with a group.

That must be pretty rough. But, for the average person with mild social anxiety... no therapist or psychologist (How many of these are failed and burnt out mental heads themselves anyways? lol) required. Just go do it.
What if you feel more comfortable when not around others often. Or for too long?

Is comfort not important to one's own happiness in life?

Speaking for myself here, when I say socializing truly burns me out. Socializing takes a lot of effort and thought. Especially in large gatherings.
1 hour of socializing in this way feels like i've been driving a car for 12 hours. And I feel like not doing so again for months. It's truly exhausting.

The problem I have is other people, especially strangers telling me how to live my own life. Gtfo of here with that imo.
Anyone I know who cares about me, never does that at all. And I do my very best to return the same favor.
It's mutual respect.
 

guitarguy10

Well-Known Member
The shitty thing about anxiety (to me at least) is that it's very difficult to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it what uh lets call it 'clinical anxiety' is. Of course we all have anxiety during life, there are tense situations or those which require our complete attention and consideration and we worry and whatnot.

The worst part about this nebulous thing I'm calling 'clinical anxiety' is that it has no specific characteristics that each individual with it can relate with each other. In my case anxiety is always present, from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. Physically FOR ME it involves the uncontrolled shaking/trembling of my muscles, the sensation that I am suffocating (this is very unpleasant lol), I can feel every pulse as it feels like the blood in my veins is uh trying to escape my veins lol. Mentally it's a chaotic mess dependent upon the circumstances but largely related to the rush of thoughts of what if this happens, or that, or why would this person even care to talk to me, and why am I this or that (I have some severe self-confidence issues).

Anyways, I'm just rambling about anxiety, but hopefully ppl can see that I am referring to something a bit different then the typical experience of 'anxiety'.

To whomever suggested high school, I was bullied and beaten up throughout elementary and high school, which I imagine is part of my fucked up headspace. I'm also 36, which doesn't preclude me of course from looking up people from high school, except as I say I've never really had friends and only people who hurt or mocked me. In university I didn't really have many friends, and those that I did have I'd rather not reconnect with because I spent 4 years getting an honors degree that shortly thereafter a painful chronic migraine condition has kept me down, and away from ANY work (nevermind work in the field I studied) for nearly 15 years. It would just be a humiliating shame to speak to ppl who probably have a wife and children and a career and here I am still never even had a date in my life, I have no job, no kids, no future prospects really.

You can say what you want, but I'm pretty frank about everything and will just say it. These things are easy for many, difficult for others and I just know that through my years of effort and failure that I would literally need a social worker or a person there directing me what to do or whatnot. I know that sounds stupid, but I don't know how to do it myself.

Also sorry about all this sob story BS, but I'm not in a very good place right now and I don't like fakers and posers who put on a smile just because. If it's within the appropriate context to be said then I'm gonna say it, even if it makes me look like a humiliating failure, maybe that's exactly what I am lol.
 

DrKiz

Well-Known Member
excuse me while i go pick up my therapist so i can go to target.
:roll:
lol, I think the whole riu staff is emo and swaps their pyschs pill by mail so they don't have to go outside.

I'm outta here. Let the professionals help. I'm borderline psychotic anyways and have no empathy for people who wallow in pity. It doesn't work. But it pays the professionals well.
 

sunni

Administrator
Staff member
Ok, perhaps you should read what I wrote. All that spaghetti may be what YOU and some OTHERS need. Not ME or some OTHERS.

I don't need a therapist and most people with social anxiety do not either. Gaslight me.

What you wrote paragraphs about took me two sentences to write. Why attack people because we say just GO DO IT!

Not everyone needs a therapist man.

Your mental health professionals are creating the stigmas.
lol, I think the whole riu staff is emo and swaps their pyschs pill by mail so they don't have to go outside.

I'm outta here. Let the professionals help. I'm borderline psychotic anyways and have no empathy for people who wallow in pity. It doesn't work. But it pays the professionals well.

wow.....
 

DrKiz

Well-Known Member
Speaking for myself here, when I say socializing truly burns me out. Socializing takes a lot of effort and thought. Especially in large gatherings.
1 hour of socializing in this way feels like i've been driving a car for 12 hours. And I feel like not doing so again for months. It's truly exhausting.

The problem I have is other people, especially strangers telling me how to live my own life. Gtfo of here with that imo.
Anyone I know who cares about me, never does that at all. And I do my very best to return the same favor.
It's mutual respect.
Probably because you aren't taking anything of value from the situation?
Do you find value in these people, do they do anything to improve your situation?
And it's a normal response anyways. You're probably dumping adrenalin and that's wiping you.

Half the people you tell a problem to don't care, the other half are glad you have it.
 

DrKiz

Well-Known Member
The shitty thing about anxiety (to me at least) is that it's very difficult to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it what uh lets call it 'clinical anxiety' is. Of course we all have anxiety during life, there are tense situations or those which require our complete attention and consideration and we worry and whatnot.

The worst part about this nebulous thing I'm calling 'clinical anxiety' is that it has no specific characteristics that each individual with it can relate with each other. In my case anxiety is always present, from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. Physically FOR ME it involves the uncontrolled shaking/trembling of my muscles, the sensation that I am suffocating (this is very unpleasant lol), I can feel every pulse as it feels like the blood in my veins is uh trying to escape my veins lol. Mentally it's a chaotic mess dependent upon the circumstances but largely related to the rush of thoughts of what if this happens, or that, or why would this person even care to talk to me, and why am I this or that (I have some severe self-confidence issues).

Anyways, I'm just rambling about anxiety, but hopefully ppl can see that I am referring to something a bit different then the typical experience of 'anxiety'.

To whomever suggested high school, I was bullied and beaten up throughout elementary and high school, which I imagine is part of my fucked up headspace. I'm also 36, which doesn't preclude me of course from looking up people from high school, except as I say I've never really had friends and only people who hurt or mocked me. In university I didn't really have many friends, and those that I did have I'd rather not reconnect with because I spent 4 years getting an honors degree that shortly thereafter a painful chronic migraine condition has kept me down, and away from ANY work (nevermind work in the field I studied) for nearly 15 years. It would just be a humiliating shame to speak to ppl who probably have a wife and children and a career and here I am still never even had a date in my life, I have no job, no kids, no future prospects really.

You can say what you want, but I'm pretty frank about everything and will just say it. These things are easy for many, difficult for others and I just know that through my years of effort and failure that I would literally need a social worker or a person there directing me what to do or whatnot. I know that sounds stupid, but I don't know how to do it myself.

Also sorry about all this sob story BS, but I'm not in a very good place right now and I don't like fakers and posers who put on a smile just because. If it's within the appropriate context to be said then I'm gonna say it, even if it makes me look like a humiliating failure, maybe that's exactly what I am lol.
It's pretty easy to talk about things here though isn't it? With much less anxiety?

If we were talking face to face could you say the above without too much anxiety?
 

sunni

Administrator
Staff member
Extreme independence is a result of trauma response

Im sorry you think people who get help are weak and not self sufficient but that is a stigma you carry with you
 

DrKiz

Well-Known Member
Extreme independence is a result of trauma response

Im sorry you think people who get help are weak and not self sufficient but that is a stigma you carry with you
Are you projecting now?
How about we agree not to discuss this matter and ignore each other on it?
I don't see eye to eye with you and don't require your armchair diagnosis.
Be hostile to others please.
 

sunni

Administrator
Staff member
Are you projecting now?
How about we agree not to discuss this matter and ignore each other on it?
I don't see eye to eye with you and don't require your armchair diagnosis.
Be hostile to others please.
You can kindly go read that tos button when you speak about the emo admin staff and what we do than ;)
 

DrKiz

Well-Known Member
You can kindly go read that tos button when you speak about the emo admin staff and what we do than ;)
Are you kidding, it was a joke on your self depracating post and you threaten me for it because you don't like me?

And if you want to go ahead. It proves a point about your hostility.

Please leave me alone. We need not talk further. You do you.
 

Aussieaceae

Well-Known Member
Probably because you aren't taking anything of value from the situation?
Do you find value in these people, do they do anything to improve your situation?
And it's a normal response anyways. You're probably dumping adrenalin and that's wiping you.

Half the people you tell a problem to don't care, the other half are glad you have it.
Oh right, so you're my psychologist now are you?

Ever been so anxious in public or social gathering, you forget where the fuck you are?

Ever been so anxious to the point of psychosis?

I know how I feel mate. And I truly can't thank my psychologist enough. I wish I saw one over 20 years ago as a child.

Quit trying to suggest what the cause of my own anxiety is. Or how to "fix" it. You truly have no idea about me.

We all express our emotions in different ways.
 

DrKiz

Well-Known Member
Oh right, so you're my psychologist now are you?

Ever been so anxious in public or social gathering, you forget where the fuck you are?

Ever been so anxious to the point of psychosis?

I know how I feel mate. And I truly can't thank my psychologist enough. I wish I saw one over 20 years ago as a child.

Quit trying to suggest what the cause of my own anxiety is. Or how to "fix" it. You truly have no idea about me.

We all express our emotions in different ways.
Nope, just asking a few questions in good faith actually. It's ok, I understand you feel defensive. No need to attack.

Ever been so anxious in public or social gathering, you forget where the fuck you are?
Yes, still do sometimes. Working on it but getting better.

Ever been so anxious to the point of psychosis
Um, Yeah. Extremely so. Getting off their pills fixed that.

Quit trying to suggest what the cause of my own anxiety is. Or how to "fix" it. You truly have no idea about me.

We all express our emotions in different ways.

Wasn't trying to do anything but satisfy my own curiosity. Expressing my emotions in my own way.

See, no therapist required. And much better delivered.

Are you here to discuss or attack me too for no reason?
 
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