Kids say the darndest things...

There is this youtube video of a little Afrikaans kiddy complaining to his mom.
In Afrikaans, you can use cunt as a verb, which basically means to beat or hit someone.
SO he was telling his mom how the other kid cunted him. It was too funny.
 
neosapien said:
The kiddo been watching a Christmas movie and keeps getting Donner and Blitzen confused and it comes out "on Dickser". It's funny.
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On Dildo! On Stripper! On Dickser! On Ballsen! And don't forget Rudolph the Reservoir-tip Reindeer! lol

af41fa4c68f62742aaf6a4bfc2ae5a75--contraception-reindeer.jpg
 
Sat in the car with my 12 year old son, and he is talking nonsense as usual.
He does this just to wind me up, so he says to me "dad I'm a dictator like Putin"
I said " Your a what?" He says rather loud " I'm a dick taker"
I laughed that hard I thought I was gonna pass out.
 
My daughter is learning to read and spell right now in kindergarten. She is doing rather well, I am pretty impressed.

"Dad, I know how to spell FUCK. F-U-C-K".

"Lil Neo!!!!!! You know thats the worst word ever. Who taught you that"?

"It's written on my bus seat".

"Don't ever say that again" (good job on figuring out the CK though, daddy loves you)
 
My daughter has this game where she purports certain aspects of life to "The Gamemaster". Like in a scary raspy voice "Daddy, we need to build a leprechaun trap to catch the leprechaun before the Gamemaster does". Little girls are weird. Except she doesn't enunciate the best sometimes and it just comes out "The Gaymaster". "Daddy, daddy, watch out the gaymaster!"
 
neosapien said:
My daughter has this game where she purports certain aspects of life to "The Gamemaster". Like in a scary raspy voice "Daddy, we need to build a leprechaun trap to catch the leprechaun before the Gamemaster does". Little girls are weird. Except she doesn't enunciate the best sometimes and it just comes out "The Gaymaster". "Daddy, daddy, watch out the gaymaster!"
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RiNTU.gif
 
The wife made Black Silkie Chicken soup for dinner and lil neo decided she's all of a sudden freaked out by it. She then proclaimed that she's now a vegetarian. I said cool. We then went down the list of what she can't eat now. There was only one deal breaker. So my kid is now a vegetarian (that eats beef jerky).
 
Great thread, neo.

Just last week, my wife was making a responsibility/chore chart with sharpies. Our two year old, knowing she's not allowed to use the permanent markers, grabs one then tells my wife, "I'm gonna borrow this. Don't whine. I'll give it right back." She's 2.

This summer, she(unprovoked and seemingly without reason) pulled a 5 year old off the bench of a mini picnic table with one arm and then announced, "I'm really strong," and walked away. Yep.
 
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