Jokes?

Nvr2Stond

Nvr2Stond

Well-Known Member
Two guys get busted for smoking dope, so they have to go into court on a Friday. They go to court and the judge says, "If you can convince more than 5 people to stop doing drugs for the rest of their lives, you won't be sent to jail."
So the two men agree and the judge tells them to come back on Monday.
So the two guys come back on Monday and the judge asks how they did.

''I got 17 people to get off drugs,'' says the first guy.

''Wow, how'd you do that?'' asks the judge.

''I used circles. I told them that this large circle is your brain before drugs and this small circle is your brain after drugs.''

''oh, that's nothing!" said the second guy. "I convinced 156 people to get off drugs.''

''Wow. How'd you do that?'' asked the judge.

''Well, I used circles too. I told them this small circle is your butthole before prison...''
 
BongJuice

BongJuice

Well-Known Member
10 REASONS
WHY MASTERBATION IS BETTER THAN SEX​



1. You don't have to look your best.
2. You never have to say "I love you".
3. If you use your other hand it feels like someone else.
4. You can use both hands and have an orgy.
5. You don't have to promise to call in the morning.
6. As long as your careful, you'll never end up in the wet spot.
7. You can make it last for hours if you do it a certain way.
8. You can do it wherever there is a public toilet which has a door.
9. You don't need to make an appointment.
10. You'll never need a condom.​
 
BongJuice

BongJuice

Well-Known Member
there once was a stoner from leeds,
who swallowed a handful of seeds,
some beautiful grass,
grew from his ass,
but his balls were all covered in weeds!

there once was bud named b.c.
he grew on a 7 foot tree
till one day i plucked him
rolled him and smoked him
and now i can barely see

there once was a lady named mash
who lived on pot and hash
when she couldn't get these
she scraped her vials with ease
rather than run and get her stash

​
 
Nvr2Stond

Nvr2Stond

Well-Known Member
There were 3 men and they all died in a car crash and went to hell. When they got there the devil asked them all in turn a question.
To he first he said "what was your biggest sin on earth?" and the man replied "Oh man I just love alchol and being drunk man" so the devil showed the man to a room full of alchol of every type and description and he put the man inside and said "see you in 100 years" and locked the door.


To the second man he asked the same question and the man replied "oh man I just love to have sex with the ladies, I was really unfaithful to my wife man". So the devil took the man and showed him to a room full of hundreds upon thousands of georgeous and beautiful naked women. The man ran inside and the devil said "see you in 100 years" and locked the door.


The third man's answer to the question was "oh man I just LOVE weed! Im high all the time man and I can't live without it!". The devil showed the man to a room packed with the most amazing grade-A bud you've ever seen, stacked to the roof! The man went inside and the devil locked the door after saying "see you in 100 years".


100 years later the devil came by to let the three men out. He opened the door to the first man's room and found the man collapsed on the ground, passed out with empty bottles laying around him and puke all over him. He was a mess.
The devil opened the 2nd man's door and the man came running out of the room and cried "IM GAY! IM GAY!". Finally the devil came to the third man's room and opened the door. Sitting in the middle of all the bud, in the exact same position the devil had left him in was the man. He looked up at the devil and with a single tear rolling down his cheek he asked ; "hey man, got a light?"
 
joepro

joepro

Well-Known Member
Three gay guys in a hot tub and some cum comes flotting to the top.
The one gay guy asked the other two...who farted?
 
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