Glad you got the joke Max. To answer the question why people think N def start low in a plant. The entire plant is N def, not just the leaves that show the signs. Plants move N from the older leaves to the new growth areas where its needed. Older growth just happens to be in the lower regions of the plant. I agree some def can manifest themselves out of the ordinary. But in this case I am pretty certain from the pics its a P def. Could be caused by the simple lack of P or too much calcium or the use of too much ammonia nitrogen, hopefully he is not using baking soda as a pH adjuster. These things we cannot know until the OP gives us the rundown on his medium, nutes, water source ect.....