I think i may be a Bad Person

You are not a bad person.

And you don't realize this, but you don't really have any problems. Not real problems.

You are 18. You are in college.

How many girls your age do you know who have downloaded a couple of bambinos by now? They have problems.

Count your blessings and enjoy your time now. Because it ain't gonna get any easier.

Being an adult is great what with the freedom and all, but sometimes life hands you a shit sandwich.

And you will be expected to eat every bite, and smile all the while.

Don't worrie your fine it's not your fault your smarter or prettier, shit don't stink ect.....

Urca said:

its just so hard... i cant even describe to you what I feel and think when I see these girls, or even when Im alone.
I told my sister once, how I felt, and she told me that I need to quit, its fucked up and im a bad person, because in her words "you just think you look better than them, who the fuck are you to think these things about them?"
yet i compare my looks to theirs and think maybe i have the prettier face, but then I know i have the worse body. Except for the girls who are the same size as me. Then im like wtf am i doing wrong if they can be with someone and I cant?
Then i say, well, Im fat, ugly, stupid, etc, and they must be better than me.

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Urca, wanting to hurt people is normal, however you can learn how to manage this mental problem with a mental solution. I break my mind's focus with whoever is starting to piss me off, and then walk away. You don't have to stand around with a bunch of bitches if you don't want to. Just say hello, blah blah blah and then gtfo and back to smoking weed.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
And if you want to take the easier route, spirituality and giving up your problems to a higher power etc.
BTW just because "I don't believe in Jesus" - Urca, you say, that's fair. You don't need to know him at all. Who do you believe in? Do you believe in Praying? The point is, if you focus your life around other people and yourself without some "larger than life" perspective a.k.a. God, good will in man kind, etc. Just seeing how small we are as individuals should remind us, there are much bigger problems happening in the Universe than one daily man's problems.

try running, you'll shed a few pounds and clear your mind.. the more you do it the more you'll enjoy it

Urca said:

Because I compare myself to other people all the time, mainly other girls, and I always have bad thoughts about them in the back of my head.
I think "wow she's ugly as fuck and just as fat as me, yet she's with a man and happy"
or I see ugly girls Ive gone to school with, and I tell myself "well, at least I have the prettier face" as they walk away with their s.o, happy.
This isnt normal or right to do, because I do it to punish myself for the way I look, like "she's worse than you, but obviously better, anyone is better than you."
I dont know what to do, how to stop thinking like this.
Starting to really make me feel guilty. I never voice these opinions to anyone or treat anyone bad based off of how they look, but its eating me up inside, that Im a bad person for feeling this way

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wowza thats all ill say

girllllll you got problems

hahaha

Don`t think theres anything to worry about here Urca. You can see the tricks your ego is pulling on you, and you accept your flaws... You have realised the cycle!

Now you have the luxury of knowing whats really true, whats not and what matters. You can remind this to yourself as needed.

Keep seeing the truth and ignore the doubt!!

Just do yourself the courtesy of having some optimisim as to enjoy the journey. I think that you know whats true, whats an illusion and what you need to do. Positivity speeds up your progress and keeps you happy as your going forward =)

If your troubling with small things keep your mind on the bigger picture. We all did that stage to get passed a certain "captivity". Any kind of scientific, religious or spiritual stuff is perfect to keep stretching your mind away.

Your life is so loooong from here on... 4 months is nothing!

Urca life is too short to be worrying about what you think privately in your own mind, next time you catch your self doing it make your self think some thing nice.
But like i say life is way shorter than you think. Go out and make some memories, good ones for those days you look in the mirror and say, What the fuck happened to the time???
Just yesterday I was leaving home heading to boot camp and Vietnam found a good woman and had 2 sons that hardly got here and they were gone, now I got these little ones calling me Grandpa..... What the fuck happened to my time? Man there are so many things that i want to do I want to go back to collage why???
I could die tomorrow will I be remembered very long after my stash is smoked up???

Im thinking its pent up sexual frustration...

fishwhistle said:

Im thinking its pent up sexual frustration...

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well the way things are with the guy... feeds into this quite a bit. Its not the main issue, but it makes what I feel worse

[video=youtube;YYzIRO9ZZYQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYzIRO9ZZYQ[/video]

Lol. This just reinforces reseaons to hate everything you post. Your just extremely insecure, judgemental of yourself and others, and think nothing of your personality. All that comes out in your behavior, speech, and body language. That's why your alone. Embrace what you have and what you've been given. Jesus. Isn't it obvious why your alone. It has nothing to do with you...but what you think about you. Grow up already, please.

Kodank Moment said:

Lol. This just reinforces reseaons to hate everything you post. Your just extremely insecure, judgemental of yourself and others, and think nothing of your personality. All that comes out in your behavior, speech, and body language. That's why your alone. Embrace what you have and what you've been given. Jesus. Isn't it obvious why your alone. It has nothing to do with you...but what you think about you. Grow up already, please.

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If all this teen angst is affecting her as bad as her many threads indicate; how the hell will she be able to cope when life slips its hog in?

Wow Urca u seem like the most insecure person, everyone "judges" others when we see them, but try to find positive things about the person over being jealous or envious. if U think a girl has pretty hair or a cute butt tell her so, i always point out things i like about others over things i dislike, keeps ur mind and thoughts positive. Don't judge someone or become jealous over such petty things, ur only gonna drive urself nuts, accept people for who they are and not how they dress or look

You are a horrible person...

Find the nearest bridge asap

ShadyStoner said:

You are a horrible person...

Find the nearest bridge asap

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Very sound advice. I concur.

Why not focus the energy on something else, like improving yourself? If you're unhappy about your weight, do something to change it.
My friend lost like 80 pounds over the summer by walking every day and cutting back calories, wen't from overweight to average weight in 3 months.

Not only will achieving that goal feel amazing in the end, but it will give you a huge boost of confidence.

Ekac said:

Why not focus the energy on something else, like improving yourself? If you're unhappy about your weight, do something to change it.
My friend lost like 80 pounds over the summer by walking every day and cutting back calories, wen't from overweight to average weight in 3 months.

Not only will achieving that goal feel amazing in the end, but it will give you a huge boost of confidence.

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You are wasting your time Ipecac.

The OP is a self-absorbed narcissist and attention whore.

It's been demonstrated time and again.

She will not take any productive advice. It goes against her programming.

Because she loves the attention derived from being a perpetual victim.

Johnnyorganic said:

You are wasting your time Ipecac.

The OP is a self-absorbed narcissist and attention whore.

It's been demonstrated time and again.

She will not take any productive advice. It goes against her programming.

Because she loves the attention derived from being a perpetual victim.

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What a strange person...
Now I'm even more interested.