' UPDATE: as i'm on the way to the gas station,(about a half mile walk) i get a call from L about"am i still lookin for that blunt? we can match lemme just see whats up cause im not buying the weed7:21. So i go home(abou(t a 10 minute waLK from where i am) and get swagged out and ready to see her, and at 8:03 i call, no answer, so i walk all the way back to the gas station and get some camel light singles.(which i figured out if you take most the filter off theyll boost your high out this world)
this gap in time is the time that i'm just sitting here doing not shit.
9:37 L "what are you doing like middle of the night tonight?" _a text message btw_
9:59- me--i dnot know not getting high thats for sure...
10:00- do you want to see me maybe if i can get out?
10:01- i dnot know i wanted to see you earlier and got all dressed and shit n u didn't some through
10:03-L i never said i could for sure!
10:06- maybe let me know tho? well i cant do anytthing in the middle of the night. maybe if you came over right now but im not sneakin out.
10:06- You're just like, i don;t know, always expecting me to be able to hang out with you. and i really don't think you can handle my lifestyle to be honest.
>> At this point i feel like shit, it's like she's breakin up with me even tho we don't go out.
10:11-me- im not even sure what to say to that
....
10:14- well i come with a lot of issues and i'm a drug addict and i'm just definitely no where near what you need. and honestly, you're a little too young for me.(she's 7 months older than me)
10:16-so we cant even be friends :' (?
now at this point she takes so long to reply because of "her service in the bedroom"
i thought i had just been let go. i was desperately emo at the moment.
she eventually says of course, and that she usually dates guys one to two years older with a job and a car and shit. and i told her that when im that point in my life i wouldn't be caught dead dating a high school girl. right now i really drunk, and this is a pain to type but i realized something.
i need a nice girl, nice like me, with values and a pretty smile. I really need a clean, legit girl and im definitely looking for her. I know i need more than her, and we'll stay friends but i really do deserve ALOT better than her. not to sound narcissitic but i know it's the truth