Ok man, here's what went down.
I was in LA, shooting a movie, because I'm a part time movie star. Everything was going great, fuckin megatron showed up and was yellin at me and shit tellin' me to give him the allspark and I'm sitting there like "Wut?"
Well anyways one of my other jobs is a bear trainer so I took the bear we were shooting with and I took off on it. But Megatron was chasing us. He killed my bear and I was pissed so I busted out my light saber and was like "What now bitch" then I cut his ass up.
I was mourning my dead bear, when all the decepticons jumped my ass. So I carjack a Porsche, and speed away and they all chase me. I whizzin through traffic pullin badass manuevers but I couldn't shake them. I always keep a couple hand grenades on me. You know, just in case. So I dropped a couple of them and blew up a couple of those assholes. I just feel bad for whoever was driving that minivan..... But that's not important.
I'm so busy lookin behind me and throwin hand grenades that I didn't notice the draw bridge was going up! Any normal pussy would try to turn around but I knew this was my moment to shine. I light my joint and FLOOR IT! They know better then to chase me, and I think I'm golden. When I turn around and see the jet is still chasing me.
And this is where it gets really crazy.
The jet turns back into a robot lands in front of me and totals my Porsche. I'm pissed now cause I didn't get a scratch on it. I'm only like, a mile away from my house, but like, 60 ninjas, jumped into the fight. I pulled out my light saber and killed, 35 - 40 of them but then finally 20 guys all rushed me, took my light saber, and were doin a pretty good number on me, but I'm also a super spy part time so I used my martial arts skills and whipped all there asses. I'm standing on a pile like, 7 carcasses high, smokin a blunt, when the jet came back and I took my last grenade and stuffed it down his throat and turned his ass into car parts. The problem is a third of LA was destroyed including my house and my bong was destroyed. I could really use a new pipe.