I fucked up and got on match.com and my wife found out.

Flaming Pie · Jan 20, 2016

hellmutt bones said:
Im trying to smooth things over between the two! Who knows??

Jkdng

Jkdng???

hellmutt bones · Jan 20, 2016

Is what us young people mean is just kidding ^^

Singlemalt · Jan 20, 2016

tyler.durden · Jan 20, 2016

see4 said:
I read that last line as, "find her purse and pull your nuts out on it" - I fucking laughed hard. Like, damn dude, you already banged her sister, why fucking t-bag her purse man, that's just fucked up. lol.

It just feel good to rub your dick on expensive shit. Here's to you, Pinny!

Edit - notice the run time of this tune...

tyler.durden · Jan 20, 2016

Aeroknow said:
Even if he told you he was thinking of you when he was doing it? You'd feel bad?

Aeroknow · Jan 20, 2016

tyler.durden said:

Lmao at the end

tyler.durden · Jan 20, 2016

Aeroknow said:
Lmao at the end

I know. Most women don't seem to understand that men are evolved to want sexual variety, it doesn't matter how good our current women are. "There's not good pussy and bad pussy. Only old pussy and new pussy", as the saying goes. That's why we shoot millions of sperm with each nut, and they produce one egg per month. It helped to ensure the survival of our species, much like when female animals will couple up with a male and then fuck all his friends. This serves to confuse the males as to whose offspring she actually gives birth to, so all those males chip in and act as if the kids were theirs. Natures clever like that. We did not choose these desires. I would think that ladies should understand this and be glad that their dudes are jacking it to porn. This way, guy's can relieve these urges without fucking other women. That's just us respecting and valuing you ladies, and you are all welcome...

bu$hleaguer · Jan 20, 2016

Flaming Pie said:
Lol. Tell her to take a shower and if the bed gets messy you will clean it up. That might work.

Ibuprofen helps with cramps but sexual excitement and climax makes cramps go away completely for a bit.

She is either worried about messes or in pain or super tired.

Try this: have her take a shower and put in tampon. Do long foreplay with whatever usually excites her the most. Then remove tampon and continue until she is ready.

As long as it is not a heavy flow day, there shouldn't be much mess. Keep a towel nearby to make sure no mess comes out when you pull out.

Or just tell her to make it up for you the first day she is off her cycle.

This thread was a good read until I saw heavy flow. Maybe I'll come back in a few days and see if I can continue it.

Bob Zmuda · Jan 20, 2016

Wait, where'd that pinworm guy go?

patsfan89 · Jan 20, 2016

This thread is entertaining. I feel like Keith Hernandez eating popcorn in the Just for Men commercial.

ttystikk · Jan 20, 2016

Feisty1UR said:
Whips, chains and nipple tassels. Can't go wrong with nipple tassels imo

Atta boy!

Alienwidow · Jan 21, 2016

Bob Zmuda said:
Wait, where'd that pinworm guy go?

He didnt go far

whitebb2727 · Jan 21, 2016

Flaming Pie said:
Why should you need to beat off? Or look at another woman while doing it?

Why get married if you aren't fulfilling each other's sexual needs?

Sometimes two people are not horny at the same time. If my ole lady walks in on me beating off, she will grab my nuts and whisper in my ear for me to come in her pussy.

There is nothing wrong with masterbation. It part of life.

whitebb2727 · Jan 21, 2016

Feisty1UR said:
Whips, chains and nipple tassels. Can't go wrong with nipple tassels imo

Made me think of this song.
Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show - At the freaker's b…:

mr sunshine · Jan 21, 2016

Flaming Pie said:
Do you want a happy fulfilling marriage or just a roommate?

Marriage takes work. Imagine it is like a garden. More attention to the garden will produce a better crop.

To make sure a marriage grows to be healthy, you must feed it with love, kindness, consideration and respect. If neglected, your marriage bed will become full of resentment and bitterness. You need to take the time to tend to your marriage and remove the weeds that are choking out proper growth.

Garden references? Nice..gotta ph what you put into the relationship. You don't want your relationship to have any deficiencies.

Pies on point if I didn't advise my client to pop ecstasy already she'd have the best advice in here.

TWS · Jan 21, 2016

Flaming Pie said:
She is scared she might lose you. That is why she freaked out. If you want her to stop freaking out you have to let her know that she is the most important person through actions and wordS.

Clean the house for her and sit her down and say, I would never leave you for a cheap fling. I love you. I'm sorry I scared you. You don't have to worry. I don't want anyone but you.

Then hug her for as long as she hugs you back. Take a couple days of asking her what she would like to do and make sure you NEVER join any kind of dating/sex site again.

give it to her in the butt . that's what she wants.

mr sunshine · Jan 21, 2016

TWS said:
give it to her in the butt . that's what she wants.

Mud run?

mr sunshine · Jan 21, 2016

You know you're doing it right when she starts gushing blood and you have to rush to the er.

TWS · Jan 21, 2016

wow. I never see that on the porn tube ?

mr sunshine · Jan 21, 2016

TWS said:
wow. I never see that on the porn tube ?

Is porn tube better then X videos? I've outgrown pornhub.

I fucked up and got on match.com and my wife found out.

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