I messed around growing bag seeds I found under the couch cushions since I was like 14, and at some point when I was young I picked up growing marijuana as a special interest because both my parents smoked and all their friends. I grew up seeing marijuana as something of value that others could appreciate and I wanted to grow some pot that everyone would enjoy. I actually get more happiness and joy from growing more so then from smoking it. When I was just experimenting with those bag seeds when I was younger I had some pretty serious anxiety going on, for one I told no one what I was up to. I was fucked if anyone found out. I was always told that we could never grow because of how the laws are. I never did a grow that I actually wanted to see it go through bloom till I was 18, and when I started to try and grow some plants through to harvest, I used 4 foot fluorescent shop lights haha. It didn't work out so well, but man let me tell you the level of anxiety, and it seemed to ramp up especially when ever I had to leave the house. I always had this horrible feeling that I would be on my way home and round the corner and see the feds raiding our house. But it never happened. Then the day came when I knew I could legitimately get a medical card. Shortly after getting that card and I was getting more into the growing thing and smoking more too. Bought a tent, didn't have to hide the fact that I was growing from my mother. But that damn anxiety about getting caught was still there. It took a while to get over it, a few grows at least, and seeing these helicopters flying over mostly during every summer. I'm glad to say I'm about over it with the worrying anymore.