I am soliciting your best advice for being a dad....

Unclebaldrick

Unclebaldrick

Well-Known Member
Ok, we are at the hospital. Waiting. My darling is in bed with a baby heart monitor on. Everything seems good. She's not really having contractions but her water broke. I'm guessing we are not leaving here without a baby even if they have to induce. So we agreed on the first name, not quite the middle name.

So please give me your best advice for the next 30 years. You don't have to be a parent and you don't need to be serious.
 
theexpress

theexpress

Well-Known Member
Unclebaldrick said:
Ok, we are at the hospital. Waiting. My darling is in bed with a baby heart monitor on. Everything seems good. She's not really having contractions but her water broke. I'm guessing we are not leaving here without a baby even if they have to induce. So we agreed on the first name, not quite the middle name.

So please give me your best advice for the next 30 years. You don't have to be a parent and you don't need to be serious.
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congratulations... just do the opposite of what my father did and you will be ok.... seriously though congrats and ull be fine
 
D

Dyna Ryda

Well-Known Member
Unclebaldrick said:
Ok, we are at the hospital. Waiting. My darling is in bed with a baby heart monitor on. Everything seems good. She's not really having contractions but her water broke. I'm guessing we are not leaving here without a baby even if they have to induce. So we agreed on the first name, not quite the middle name.

So please give me your best advice for the next 30 years. You don't have to be a parent and you don't need to be serious.
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Are you looking for advise on middle name or just being a parent in general?

I gave my son my middle name and my dad did the same, so all 3 of us have same middle name.

As for being a parent.....it's a lot of work but you just gotta do it, changing diapers, bathing, feeding, dressing, etc....they can't do anything for themselves you gotta do it all. As they get bigger and older they get really fun.

Being a parent is the hardest but most rewarding job in the world. Good luck and congratulation.
 
ChingOwn

ChingOwn

Well-Known Member
They will never be what you want them to be, they will be who they are.....

and the first like 6 months suck ass until they can at least crawl, you have to carry those little fuckers everywhere with you...
I hate babies I wont be having any more of them lol... but kids are cool. You don't need advice to be a parent the shit just comes naturally, as long as you and the Mrs have similar thoughts on what a good parent is you will be fine.
 
ChingOwn

ChingOwn

Well-Known Member
Oh ya and after the kid is born, dont feel like you need to stay at the hospital, follow the nurse and watch them put the baby in the inqubater thing, then tell the lady laters and take off. The woman is gonna crash and you are not gonna be able to get the kid for like 4 hours so go do some drinking or eating or something that doesnt suck as bad as being in a hospital does.
 
Singlemalt

Singlemalt

Well-Known Member
Once he turns into a person; always be patient, be honest, truthful, spend time with him and show him the cool things of the world and how things work; no baby talk. They learn fast and ya gotta keep up with that. Always try to be a buffer against popular culture; let him know he can always talk to you about his concerns, fears, unknowns. Let him know what you expect and always make sure he knows he is loved. My kids told me the thing that influenced their behavior the most was not when I got angry, but when I got disappointed in them (which was not often).

Congrats Baldrick, its gonna be a ride!

Edit: I had girls, so my fears started when they reached puberty; wouldn't wanted to have a boy like me
 
Diabolical666

Diabolical666

Well-Known Member
Unclebaldrick said:
Ok, we are at the hospital. Waiting. My darling is in bed with a baby heart monitor on. Everything seems good. She's not really having contractions but her water broke. I'm guessing we are not leaving here without a baby even if they have to induce. So we agreed on the first name, not quite the middle name.

So please give me your best advice for the next 30 years. You don't have to be a parent and you don't need to be serious.
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I'm going to give you advice for the next 6mths, be super nice and supportive of Holly. Postpartum suuuucks!
 
skunkd0c

skunkd0c

Well-Known Member
my son is 12 and when he is not killing things on his computer games he likes to punch me and get me in headlocks

if its not your child acting boisterous towards you its easy you can just hurt them when no adults are looking then deny it
but when its your own child its not so easy to inflict pain on them, so i have learnt to block punches quite well

when he is 16 he will most likely be around my size
i am going to land one on his jaw to make up for all the headlocks i have to pretend i cant escape from
 
tytheguy111

tytheguy111

Well-Known Member
Unclebaldrick said:
Ok, we are at the hospital. Waiting. My darling is in bed with a baby heart monitor on. Everything seems good. She's not really having contractions but her water broke. I'm guessing we are not leaving here without a baby even if they have to induce. So we agreed on the first name, not quite the middle name.

So please give me your best advice for the next 30 years. You don't have to be a parent and you don't need to be serious.
Click to expand...


well first thing is first dont baby them when there growing up let them climb trees and run around i mean dont let them get free candy from uncle Chester the molester or run around with a aids needle

if they smoke weed then make it a controlled environment where they dont run the risk of having to buy it off the streets and get caught but dont force them to smoke if you catch them with weed then thats when you make it a controlled environment

what i mean by that is if they keep thee grades up and do all the chores and homework and dont get into too much trouble then let them have some and i mean like a gram or so not like a zip for every A on there progress report

secondly if its a boy make him do football when i played it was so good for me i got in shape and meet cool ass people

oh and dont let him disrespect you but dont be a nazi parent ik some kids who had parents that would go through there shit because they had loose shoe laces and they thought it was cuz he shoot up

and when you teach him how to fight (my dad taught me this part is optional) tell him to go balls to the wall and go hardcore

and oh yes now in days fights happen alot and if you back down then everyone thinks your a pussy i got in a bunch of fights and im a really tame person lol i dont look for a fight infact when im in a fight im scared shitless like for real i get so scared every time but i still fight till someone pulls me off or pulls him off when i got in a fight with my step dad recently a few months back he put all his weight on me and started choking down hard i couldn't breathe and i thought that was it im gonna die here but i still went all out and ended up fucking him up so bad he had to call the police on me

im not a parent but i was raised to be a gentleman and to be humble and its helped out ALOT

but being a gentleman has helped me more then anything else because its gotten me out of trouble, made good impressions, made people think highly of me and my parents and helped me get so many jobs, girls and friends

i know i dont act like a gentleman on here like i do offline but honestly i am more of a gentleman then any teenager you'll ever meet


hopefully youre baby is a boy lol cuz i wrote this for raising a boy into a respectable man

and if its a girl then i guess you got the shit end of the deal lmao just kidding
 
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