How to Fart in Public without Being Noticed

ClaytonBigsby

ClaytonBigsby

Well-Known Member
My wife and I push them out around each other. We laugh a lot. Well, I laugh, she screams sometimes. Of course, hers don't smell.

When I was a bouncer I would eat eggs, broccolli, tuna, and burritos before work so I could cropdust the dancefloor, then look back at the disgusted chaos that ensued. I swear to god, a couple of times it almost started a fight, and I had to go in and break it up without laughing, knowing I was the bomb dropper. 20 years later, nothings changed. I love cropdusting Target, or the grocery store. Elevators.....mmmmm, elevators. If someone gets in after a really nasty one, I make a disgusted face and claim it was the guy thst just got out a floor before.


Pad, it's gas. It's fun. Relax, and let it out before you burst.
 
Indagrow

Indagrow

Well-Known Member
As long as you do it in a funny manner farts are kosher any time in my woods..

Personally I like the sneeze fart, you make that oh shit I'm going to sneeze look on your face a couple deep inhales and then do all the sneezing motion face in palms deal make that hauuaap sound but just hold your breath and let one out.... A crowd pleaser for sure
 
Indagrow

Indagrow

Well-Known Member
Padawanbater2 said:
Dude, Idk what it is, I can't even fart in front of my immediate family! I feel embarrassed when I'm in the bathroom, alone, while pissing and one squeaks out!

Illogical mental block or something..
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What about those times you think you got a food baby comin, so you hop on the toilet and it's just a massive fart?

I bet 90% of you will wipe and flush your fart down the toilet
 
Total Head

Total Head

Well-Known Member
pro life tip: to fart silently, stick your hands in your back pockets and spread your ass cheeks. the cheeks are responsible for a lot of the sound.
 
Trolling

Trolling

New Member
UncleBuck said:
machine gun farts are the best. i also like the trumpets.
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Lol, this happened to me a few years ago. I had this one machine gun fart when I had some diarrhea and had to use my work's bathroom, which I hate doing number 2's in toilets in public bathrooms as it is, but I was trying not to be loud but they just kept coming, it was starting to crack me up and couldn't resists laughing. So I was farting and trying to control my laughter at the same time, so it was like "ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt" which made me laugh even more, but boy did it feel good after and was glad nobody walked in.
 
cannabineer

cannabineer

Ursus marijanus
I've reached that unfortunate age. The old One-cheek Sneak sometimes turns into a loud OVER 'ERE!! Oy. Failure of discretion has a certain sound to it. cn
 
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