How many times ya been under the knife?

Granny weed

Well-Known Member
anything it want's to granny, anything it wants to.. :D
Well I'm glad we haven't got them here I can't stand spiders let alone ones that bite, anyway they wouldn't like the weather here.
Its still raining flood defences up everywhere I think we need to start building an ark no spiders though:shock:
 

1993stoner

Active Member
ive had a gun pointed at me twice. ive been shot at. ive been in a truck that was doin a drive by. ive been jumped. ive been jacked but ive never been under a knife
 

gioua

Well-Known Member
Tonsilectomy at 19 sterilisation at 32 hysterectomy at 34 bladder stretch at 40 and 45 mastectomy at 51 I hate anesthsetic it makes me violently sick for hours after.
Bladder stretch??? reminds me of the joke...


While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, 'What's your hurry?'

To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.'

'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'

'I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded.

The cop stammered, 'A what? A rectum stretcher?
And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'

'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide.'

'And just what the heck do you do with a 6 foot butthole? ' he asked.
'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..
 

Brother Numsi

Well-Known Member
Yeah brown recluse gives a nasty bite. Tissue caves in and goes gangrene...needs immediate attention and antibiotics!!
 

rooky1985

Active Member
I was mis-dianosed by the same staff in a local hospital and they mis-diagnosed 3 times to what it was, they did give me antibiotics but to no prevail. The bite swelled for about a week with no bruising which is what threw them, bruising is indicative of a brown recluse bite. Finally when my local physician diagnosed I was rushed to surgery. The bite was under my arm and I had a hole you could put a racket ball (smaller than tennis ball but bigger than golf ball) inside of. Took ten months to heal, I really do have my house sprayed 4 times a year now LOL.
 

jjfw

Well-Known Member
Almost, ruptured ureatha, remember doctor telling me if he couldn't get foley catheter through the break into bladder, well don't be surprised if I wake up with a bag. He was able to thread the needle, had that thing in my dick for over a month, finally I went into pain, body was trying to push it out in the end, called the doctor, he told me the body was trying to push it out, like a splinter, immediately went to hospital, so they could removed, man, it wouldn't move, even when the air was released from the end ball, remember, this was up in my bladder, not just an inch, the break was at the bladder and ureatha, well it healed around the catheter. Man, doctor said hold on, and yea, he yanked, hard to, my dick streched and then, it moved, My eye balls we're going to pop out. Man, unbelievable, I was frozen, couldn't yell. Had to ask, did you get it, yes, was his answer.
 
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