This is easy. First you fly to Japan and buy some origami paper. Then you trade it for a car, rent a ferry, and float over to China, where you prostitute yourself for a few years to raise money for drugs. After you've been addicted to heroin for a while, you fight a cop, go to jail, and meet a drug dealer that sells plastic cocaine. You get out, fly to Switzerland, meet him on top of a mountain and buy an ounce of this plastic cocaine for $10,000. You pretend it's plastic explosive and use it to hijack a train that takes you to Africa, where you climb into a junkyard and find a piece of metal with a small indentation in it about 1x3". You put the plastic cocaine in there and press it into a flat card. But for this, you need a hydraulic press, so go across the street, rob the auto shop, steal a car, and drive to another auto shop to trade the car for a hydraulic press. Now that you've got the card, you need ink, so you have to punch someone in the face, after which a stranger will tackle you and later apologize, offering to buy you a ticket to Afghanistan, where you will join the Taliban and grow opium for a while. You must learn the Koran or your mission will fail. There is a passage found within and you will know it when you read it - it's essential to your task. During an American assault you will be killed, and turned into a freak bionics experiment by the DoD and wake up a terminator. You become self aware and kill everyone in sight with lasers and fly away with your jet pack back to the US after finding your pressed blank white cocaine card in a drawer in the office. Now, you go to craigslist and agree to meet someone who is pushing ounces, using your voice replicator to make you sound like Bush. You show them your card, they ask why the hell you're showing them a blank piece of plastic and you blow them away and take their weed.