Here is my story of "letting go"
Previous to the day that my story lies on, ive taken mushrooms quite a few times to say I was comfortable with them. It was always a social thing for my friends and I. One night my Gfs friend got a batch, and brought it over. I remember the day vividly. After all of us ingested our fruits with our peculiar mixs of chasers I recall sitting there with the effects starting to hit me faster than everyone else. Thankfully it was at my house, because my bed was calling to me even though I wanted to be with the group. Regardless I pulled the gf in there with me and we layed down. At first it was me keeping her sane or at least trying to while keeping my sanity at the same time. Eventually we both accepted it. I remember my brain had so much clutter, like everything was rewinding and then I heard it say "finally your paying attention" and everything in my brain opened and it was what anyone whos taken these have had a hard enough time to explain. I like to refer to it as a broken time space. At one point I remember dying, thinking how I never got to say my goodbyes to everyone. Its like I sent myself to hell and I was trapped there forever. I would get up look around the same way with what seemed like a dozen times reliving the same day that never changes. I thought I was going insane. And whats even stranger is my gf was mimicking everything i did all though she doesnt remember...and quite possibly it could have been a vision. I dont know if i ever would have came back. My gf told me she was hitting me to wake up she said my heart was stopped. I remeber fighting to come back to this reality which at the time I was so disgusted with. When it felt like I awoke, I was in heaven. Everything was bliss. My gf and I both danced in each others heads in a beautiful place. They made me see what life I want and what life I had. The old me died, and the new me walked into this world in this body. The most substantial point in my life id never change.
For the longest time after I was scared shitless of them. I still am and im not sure if that fear will ever subside. After that I messed around with lesser doses of my own home grown to test them. I had the thought that they were a gateway to something, somewhere else and it was there if I so choosed. They changed my life for the better in so many ways. Allthough they are nothing to take lightly, at least for me. I dont know how someone could take 5g's and not have the same type of trip I did with an eighter (speaking of one of my friends). Perhaps it wasnt his time...Sorry for the novel though guys. I like to talk and the problem I have is the things I enjoy speaking about are deemed crazy by most of society. So at least on here I know some people can relate. Thanks for reading