Girlfriends and boyfriends

Yea, so being a 27yo recently divorced male I have interests, who doesn't? Well, I seem to have a problem, with trust. I refuse to talk to women in the "courtship" way, if you know what I mean, because eventually, down the line they'd wanna come over to my place and spend the night or whatever, and vice versa.

So the problem and question I have to ask myself is: Be alone and do what I do or be in a relationship and risk being fucked over in the end with them possibly having incriminating information on me. Having to choose between two things I love dearly is such a hard decision. However, I am leaning more towards sticking with Mary, she has never did me wrong. Actual women have.

So, my question is, how do you single guys and gals deal with this? How do you make the decision to have a tremendous amount of extra stress and worry off your chest or deal with it, take the risk and have love in your life?

This may sound like a pansy question but when it comes to doing 10 years in prison, it's a very serious one.

test the waters first b4 you go jumpin in...
tell her/him you smoke weed if theres a bad reaction then dont tell her/him you grow weed

whats stated above is also sound advice

well move it to an area where it normally couldnt be seen make ur grow completly steath like u lived with ur parents idk where u live cus i was in so cal i never worried about it cus i knew several growers not a big deal but just remeber that a ex saying ur growing i dont believe is probable cause though would put u on a watch him list

tell them you are embarassed about ur housekeeping ... or that you have a dog that is very unfriendly. You could be in a relationship for a Very long time... and just be spending the night at their house. You don't have to give up one for the other. Odds are... the relationship w/Mary will last longer. But if you start thinking marriage.... then maybe its time to find a new hobby... or get real with your future partner-in-crime.

future partner-in-crime...
LMFAO

dhhbomb said:

whats stated above is also sound advice

well move it to an area where it normally couldnt be seen make ur grow completly steath like u lived with ur parents idk where u live cus i was in so cal i never worried about it cus i knew several growers not a big deal but just remeber that a ex saying ur growing i dont believe is probable cause though would put u on a watch him list

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Exactly, that is the problem. My ex wife and I smoked like 2 times together, she's an everyday stoner. I started my hobby after we went our separate ways though, she has no clue. The real problem is that if there was a current girl who was the love of my life the best thing that ever happened, blah blah blah blah blah, and became the ex who couldn't stand the sight of me, what then?

Maybe i've just smoked WAY to mush reefer in my life and have permanent paranoia to live with. Just because someone is "cool" with it now while they are with you, things don't always work out and you can't never trust anyone 100%. Stealth is good, however, people are naturally curious and snoop around when you aren't there(like if you live with each other). I guess i'm just destined to choose one OR the other, not both. Lol, yay me.

I don't date much, so this isn't really an issue for me. I do know that I will cease all growing activities before I ever get involved with someone. No way would I trust a woman with that much power over me. Women don't just get mad, they get even.

Thanks for the advice guys, i've just found myself in a situation where there's girl at work that is interested in me and me her. But when I stop and think about it logically, I just can't stop thinking of all the bad shit that could go down and ruin my life because one person I thought I could trust, informed.

Thanks.

as rick james sang oh so well - Im in love with mary jane , shes my MAIN thing . . dont mean u cant enjoy urself on the side ( if any1 understands its her )
and yeh as cyrus says , best to find a similar minded person , i dont think i could spend time with a non smoker tho . . at the start then u can go to hers , bring that killah so u know it wont be a late night , take it slow , see how it goes .
never know , u might be lookin for ur sock 1 morning, catch a little light leek from the so called airing cupboard SCORE , get on with at least double the breeeding as before

UKcyrus said:

test the waters first b4 you go jumpin in...
tell her/him you smoke weed if theres a bad reaction then dont tell her/him you grow weed

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best advice you could get. Ive been in the situation except what I do isnt completely illegal and they probably wouldnt ever turn me in. They just didnt agree with so called Drugs. Im over those bitchs. There are so many fish in the sea THAT smoke its not worth wasting your time with someone who doesnt enjoy that part of your life with you.
https://www.rollitup.org/grow-journals/120940-bleezys-grow-journal-11.html#post1885754

bleezyg420 said:

best advice you could get. Ive been in the situation except what I do isnt completely illegal and they probably wouldnt ever turn me in. They just didnt agree with so called Drugs. Im over those bitchs. There are so many fish in the sea THAT smoke its not worth wasting your time with someone who doesnt enjoy that part of your life with you.
https://www.rollitup.org/grow-journals/120940-bleezys-grow-journal-11.html#post1885754

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Thanks, that's really good advice, I actually did test the waters as I do with most people by just bringing up the subject of weed, usually after they bring up how drunk they got the night before. She's smoked once 7 years ago and didn't like it. I guess thats my answer.

i had a bird once who didnt care that i was growin n the next thing u know she's an x and like o im gona tell the police(bad break up btw lol)
i just told her go ahead my plants have been chopped!! they hadnt but she wasnt commin round to see if they had.
so that was the end of that!!
this was like a year ago lol... i spoken to her since and we just forget we said anything about it.. best way
but yea bad shit happens lol

Freethoughts said:

Thanks, that's really good advice, I actually did test the waters as I do with most people by just bringing up the subject of weed, usually after they bring up how drunk they got the night before. She's smoked once 7 years ago and didn't like it. I guess thats my answer.

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You might want to let her know your involvement because I have broken girls hearts over weed, and its hurts doing something like that. If they dont get with the program, they can leave. Its never up for discussion in my books. At least not anymore. She doesn't sound like the right fishy for you, unless your willing to drop the dope for good, it could possibly and most likely will be a problem down the road. They will be in denial at first, trust me. Time tells everything.

bleezyg420 said:

You might want to let her know your involvement because I have broken girls hearts over weed, and its hurts doing something like that. If they dont get with the program, they can leave. Its never up for discussion in my books. At least not anymore. She doesn't sound like the right fishy for you, unless your willing to drop the dope for good, it could possibly and most likely will be a problem down the road. They will be in denial at first, trust me. Time tells everything.

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Indeed. I don't want any problems.

By "let her know your involvement" I suppose you mean to say something similar to this or with this message being the point:

I use cannabis, ok? Can't deal with it or have a problem with it? There's the door.

In certain areas, DARE using children as informants in schools to rat on their parents. People have been busted based on their children just stating that they've seen their mom or pop smoke.

You can never be to careful. Especially in this backward nazi nation that is the USA.

Freethoughts said:

You can never be to careful. Especially in this backward nazi nation that is the USA.

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word USA

Girls will be looking at their guys and assessing them in terms of whether or not they'd want to marry them - they subconsciously, continually check if they're suitable as fathers. If you're also doing a 5 plant or more grow, that'll cast doubt in their minds if that's all you go on about. I wouldn't say you're embarrassed about your place, that'll make her think she'd end up having to clean up behind you.

Personally, I'd be upfront about smoking (but I've lost someone before for being too into smoking) and hide the grow. Only you know your place's layout, so only you can think about how to achieve that. If you have a loft space, that'd be somewhere she'd never look until you're married (and then she'll probably want you to take stuff there anyway). Use a tent and cool tube and have the filtered air blowing back into the house through a vent somewhere. That'll keep the loft cool enough that your loft won't be glowing on the police IR camera. Got to spend some cash and effort if you want the luxury of stealth.

If it worked out and you were together for years, you might reconsider the value of growing or could come clean once you're more sure of her - have to play that one carefully since girls get wet for secrets. Best friends tell each other their secrets (which usually aren't on the same level as the "You're going to jail" type secrets girls don't get so involved in) and so by keeping an important one from her she may become disillusioned as to what you think of her. You're story would thus be worded not as admitting you'd been hiding something from her but rather allowing her privileged self to be part of this super secret no one else is part of.

I've heard a story of a guy ending up being arrested for significant schedule 1 offenses when a girl decided she was upset.

It's a harsh reality but here it goes.
There is one issue at hand, trust. You hope to find a partner to share compassion, passion, friendship and love with that you can trust implicitly. So is any prospect you come across. They want what you want. They want to know and feel they aren't being lied to. Can you date casualy? Yes. Though your eventual goal may not be realized any time soon.

I am nearing 40. I grew commercialy from 19-25. I had a girlfriend going in to growing and that ended two years later. I found it dificult to trust anyone new. I was pretty lonely. Going back and thinking, I might have been happier with a real job. Poorer, but happier. I met a few girls through the hippie crowd I hung with but the smart non flakey ones were always taken. And I'm no thief. I also frequented the house/techno scene with psychadelics to unload. There were always pretty things to be found and many were eager to share a few nights. But none ever got through the trust wall and were let into my world. I let a few keepers go.

The flipside : I now am with the right person. I stopped growing when my partner robbed the crops and and talkedto the cops. Fifteen years later and I'm with the one. I met her selling her a bag. She called me up the next day and wanted everything I had of that strain. I thought cop, since paranoia is in my DNA now. But I didn't feel cop and I always trust my gut. Turns out she hoards good weed. Gotta love it. She recently bought US a several thousand dollars grow room for our anniversary. It was her suggestio. After seeing the polaroids of me smiling with my past crops, she suggested we stop buying and I start growing again "since it seems to make you so happy".

Now I'm glad the others got away.

funny you said that since it makes you happy my girl of 2 years and my baby mama hates weed hates it but knows growing and smoking has made me happy so she doesnt complain about it to much but was a pot head when i meet her was up front about it not a pot head anymore but still smoke just not 24/7

Freethoughts said:

Yea, so being a 27yo recently divorced male I have interests, who doesn't? Well, I seem to have a problem, with trust. I refuse to talk to women in the "courtship" way, if you know what I mean, because eventually, down the line they'd wanna come over to my place and spend the night or whatever, and vice versa.

So the problem and question I have to ask myself is: Be alone and do what I do or be in a relationship and risk being fucked over in the end with them possibly having incriminating information on me. Having to choose between two things I love dearly is such a hard decision. However, I am leaning more towards sticking with Mary, she has never did me wrong. Actual women have.

So, my question is, how do you single guys and gals deal with this? How do you make the decision to have a tremendous amount of extra stress and worry off your chest or deal with it, take the risk and have love in your life?

This may sound like a pansy question but when it comes to doing 10 years in prison, it's a very serious one.

Click to expand...

wow i must be one of the lucky ones. been maried for 11 years now the wife does not smoke and she nows how muck i luv my smoke and shes been ok with that from the start of our relathionship. but if your no married then remember this GUYS jus a little joke for the day. WHAT FOOD MAKES WEMEN STOP WANTING SEX------WEDDING CAKE LOL lots of truth though lol.

good for you landragon....

i feel ya freethoughts. i got a double whammy goin on over here. i grow AND raise my 3 yr old daughter by myself(no mom in the picture). so when i look at a girl that way im thinking trust and can this girl be my daughters mother. it sucks, ive been single ever since my daughters mother dissapeared and its definetly getting old.