diagnosed schizophrenic at 28

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StonedGardener

StonedGardener

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Hiphophippo said:
I had a gentleman neighbor in Florida that was a schizophrenic his name was Dustin. Dude was all around good guy but if he was off his meds you could tell real quick but was a very helpful and well rounded guy. You gotta take care of yourself first or the rest will fall apart I wish you the best of luck and hope you get yourself under control and feeling the way you want to feel.
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Very nice , well said.....very considerate !
 
ANC

ANC

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I did myself no favours having done loads of hallucinogens over the years too.
But yeah, my ability to see stuff greatly depends on my chemical intake.
Fuck I just need to think hard enough about DMT, and I get goose pimples and a low level high.
 
Spiveysrevenge

Spiveysrevenge

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Offmymeds said:
The bright side is you have a diagnosis and apparently, I hope, a therapist. I don't run due to bad knees but I exercise every damn day. That's not for the physique but for the serotonin production. Of course it also helps your confidence to have an athletic body.

Stay healthy. Try not to worry.
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Thank you sir I try but I can't really shake the loneliness and impending dread. Everything has kinda fucked up for me, of course I also fucked myself but see I wasn't even smart enough to realize that.
farmerfischer said:
yup..almost a week now.. hopefully he's good.. im familier with his kind of mental struggles..
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I go in and out of periods of depression and mania and derealization. It seems that the more I age and the more regrets and concerns and responsibilities and heartaches and insecurities add up it takes an incredible amount of effort to "return to center" and get back in flow state and even do what the fuck I need to do. I just tried to take some classes this fall only to fuck up again on all any social fronts. Now I'm back to the factories for min wage as I become a lowest common denominator 28 yr old incel virgin nobody loser. I am unraveling big-time man I'm coming out the socket.
 
Spiveysrevenge

Spiveysrevenge

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ANC said:
I did myself no favours having done loads of hallucinogens over the years too.
But yeah, my ability to see stuff greatly depends on my chemical intake.
Fuck I just need to think hard enough about DMT, and I get goose pimples and a low level high.
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I only did shrooms once. Idk if that counts as a hallucinogen. I was NOT ready for that shit. I felt like I went and met El Diablo himself. But it was also the very early dawn of me idk sorta understanding humanity, as a young adult anyway, the difference between good and evil, people who are slaves to sensation, but my mind became enslaved in the end too sadly. No one gets out unscathed I just try to keep the rope tied around me as I crawl toward the light because I know I'm gonna fall more yet to come. But that's how I'm learning. The day is coming where I gotta get rid of the rope tho and just make the jump or else I may live the rest of my life behind the wall.
 
ANC

ANC

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Spiveysrevenge said:
I only did shrooms once. Idk if that counts as a hallucinogen. I was NOT ready for that shit. I felt like I went and met El Diablo himself. But it was also the very early dawn of me idk sorta understanding humanity, as a young adult anyway, the difference between good and evil, people who are slaves to sensation, but my mind became enslaved in the end too sadly. No one gets out unscathed I just try to keep the rope tied around me as I crawl toward the light because I know I'm gonna fall more yet to come. But that's how I'm learning. The day is coming where I gotta get rid of the rope tho and just make the jump or else I may live the rest of my life behind the wall.
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It is all OK, there is now way it HAS TO BE. After my recent heart attack I'm very aware of how many expectations I had of myself with no purpose.
I have no doubts I seriously shortened the time I have left. but I'd rather make it 10 years (30% chance) than 5 years (50%)
Just making shit harder for myself. Well, this morning I went for a 1-mile walk all by myself. And I might repeat it again later.
 
Spiveysrevenge

Spiveysrevenge

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ANC said:
It is all OK, there is now way it HAS TO BE. After my recent heart attack I'm very aware of how many expectations I had of myself with no purpose.
I have no doubts I seriously shortened the time I have left. but I'd rather make it 10 years (30% chance) than 5 years (50%)
Just making shit harder for myself. Well, this morning I went for a 1-mile walk all by myself. And I might repeat it again later.
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Yeah between the shit low wage manual labor, loneliness, drugs and health neglect I'm def not as healthy as I used to be either. How old are u man. Idkkkk if I'm gonna even live to 50. Not at this rate.
 
ANC

ANC

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Spiveysrevenge said:
Yeah between the shit low wage manual labor, loneliness, drugs and health neglect I'm def not as healthy as I used to be either. How old are u man. Idkkkk if I'm gonna even live to 50. Not at this rate.
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trying to make 50 myself, although I did warn my wife when we started dating, the men in my family have a 50 something life expectancy, well my uncle's heart took him out at 35, I also had a light heart attack at that age, but survived it. This time was way to close I had to work to stay alive until they could repair me.
 
Spiveysrevenge

Spiveysrevenge

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ANC said:
trying to make 50 myself, although I did warn my wife when we started dating, the men in my family have a 50 something life expectancy, well my uncle's heart took him out at 35, I also had a light heart attack at that age, but survived it. This time was way to close I had to work to stay alive until they could repair me.
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I'm glad you're still with us man that's scary shit. I'm sorry to hear about that. I think I gotta start worrying too. Problem is I'm dragging ass and there's money to be made. If I can stay off crack cocaine or what have you I'll be ok. Caffeine is bad enough it's bad for your heart.
 
ANC

ANC

Well-Known Member
Spiveysrevenge said:
I'm glad you're still with us man that's scary shit. I'm sorry to hear about that. I think I gotta start worrying too. Problem is I'm dragging ass and there's money to be made. If I can stay off crack cocaine or what have you I'll be ok. Caffeine is bad enough it's bad for your heart.
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I've been there in my 20's whole lot of regret now, but yeah, such is life.
 
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