Confessions

I farted in line at the grocery store today. The clerk looked at me funny, so I pointed to the lady behind me, and I think he believed me.

I have a confession. I've been lying to you guys for the last 2+ years. I'm not actually married to a hot Chinese chick anymore. I'm now married to a hot Chinese MILF.

I got this married chick pregnant. She had an abortion, made me kinda sad. We worked together but she quit soon after i took my 2 month vacation back in late jan. I always wanted a little me.

qwizoking said:

I got this married chick pregnant. She had an abortion, made me kinda sad. We worked together but she quit soon after i took my 2 month vacation back in late jan. I always wanted a little me.

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Plenty of time my dude just keep stretching it

qwizoking said:

I got this married chick pregnant. She had an abortion, made me kinda sad. We worked together but she quit soon after i took my 2 month vacation back in late jan. I always wanted a little me.

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Yeah but a life torn between two half families is not something to wish upon any kid eh. Look back at the 90's and all the children of divorce and the nihilistic near suicidal mindset of GenX...

I confess. I am happy for Goichi. Because now he has some money!

My mom asked me to take her to the store last week and blew me on the way. For the first time in a long time, I liked it. Kind of creeped me out though. I may be getting some feeling back.

ClaytonBigsby said:

My mom asked me to take her to the store last week and blew me on the way. For the first time in a long time, I liked it. Kind of creeped me out though. I may be getting some feeling back.

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How did the car handle?

Grandpapy said:

How did the car handle?

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Awesome. I learned years ago to get a Cadillac. It has plenty of "head room" (if you know what I'm sayin) and the ride is smooth so there are no surprises (if ya know what I am sayin).

I have a confession.

My erection is both purple and bulbous. And I often find myself exclaiming, "Would you just look at that!", when staring down at it.

Pooped on a beach the other night, kinda got shitfaced on a Tuesday by accident and took a stroll or a stumble down to the water. And well the walked seemed to daunting to go again with a full load. It's in the 60s for the first time this year hopefully the beach isn't getting too much foot traffic. I don't even know where the sandy beast lies... Hopefully it grabs at tourist by the toes, not looking forward to the INVASION

Paul Reiser

I said I would suck 47 dicks if the Patriots won the super bowl. I ain't gonna do it though. I'm going back on my word, fuck me.

I often rub my balls and then smell my fingers

Skuxx said:

I often rub my balls and then smell my fingers

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every guy does this

Dyna808 said:

I said I would suck 47 dicks if the Patriots won the super bowl. I ain't gonna do it though. I'm going back on my word, fuck me.

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Do you think they will settle for hand jobs?

vro said:

every guy does this

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I know. I just couldn't think of anything good, so that was sort of a warm up.

Skuxx said:

I know. I just couldn't think of anything good, so that was sort of a warm up.

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i think everyone smells their own funk!!!!!!

i farted during the seder tonight.

It seems like every time I think I'm in a safe situation to fart... as soon as I let it flow, someone walks up to me just as the smell begins to become strong.