Blaze & Daze

The first time I got an anxiety attack was the worst. I knew exactly what was happening, and luckily I was at a waiting room for my therapist, but even knowing that, I couldn't breathe. It was like ten times worse than when you accidentally start manually breathing (sorry for anyone who catches a stray, sometimes reading it triggers it, lol). And I was so tense and agitated that it felt like my muscles were locked up. I wanted to scream and cry and like spin in circles tearing stuff up, but also not be near anything that made noise. Horrible sensation. Do not recommend.


Yeah, with issues at work after a botched migration we have been at a super high call volume which just compounds the stress of the job. It's been a few months since I had an anxiety attack, but it the last 2 weeks I have had a couple, along with some close calls.

The crawling skin, the inability to breath, think clearly. Becoming really reactionary.

I wish I still had xanax to pop, but I also don't. Made me understand the nature of addiction really too well. The alternatives I have been given just seem to make me tired, but not any less anxious. Cannabis is so far my best alt, but finding the right combination of terpenes, thc and cbd is hit or miss.

Anywho. There is always the chance of a bowl of mint chocolate chip at the end of the day for those who are there to greet it.
 
Anxiety is a silly malady. I know it lies, but I cannot regulate my bodies response to its suggestions. It cannot substantiate its position, yet it controls the conversation. Its a bully and a coward. I can continue to best it, but it can continue to wear me thin.
Conquering anxiety is difficult but combating it with an arsenal of tactics provides tangible results. Doing nothing achieves just that, nothing!

I started with CBT, where having OCD, language matters a lot. An effort to avoid speaking in absolute terms was the beginning of the journey. When our Gdaughter said "I can't do that, I'm too little", I'd apply CBT and asked her to change the language to perhaps say that she found it difficult or that she struggled with something but that she could do it if she really wanted to. One subconsciously prepares oneself for failure by using absolute/language.

Practising mindfulness keeps me in the now, not dwelling on yesterday or worrying about tomorrow.

Journalling the day's events can provide benefits by offloading the struggles.

Meditation is also beneficial to take time for one's self, allowing yourself time to focus only on the present - follow your breath from beginning to end.

Procrastination, for me, caused anxiety. So I try to muster the courage to get things done asap, so as not to dwell on it.

"Anxiety is a silly malady." Agreed!

The first time I got an anxiety attack was the worst. I knew exactly what was happening, and luckily I was at a waiting room for my therapist, but even knowing that, I couldn't breathe. It was like ten times worse than when you accidentally start manually breathing (sorry for anyone who catches a stray, sometimes reading it triggers it, lol). And I was so tense and agitated that it felt like my muscles were locked up. I wanted to scream and cry and like spin in circles tearing stuff up, but also not be near anything that made noise. Horrible sensation. Do not recommend.
Agreed, it sucks and for some the sensations are difficult to quantify/explain. There is nothing to envy about the sensations of suffocating or being tense and agitated.

I've seen a psychotherapist for a couple years with wonderful results. I'm in therapy because those that should be aren't - is what i told my therapist. Driven by a desire to continuously improve. Therapy taught me that setting boundaries (with love) was top tier personal care. Sometimes you have to teach people how to treat you. Took an SSRI for two months- which kinda retrained the brain to accept life as it is. Through no fault of our own, we endure trauma and I felt a duty/responsibility to repair/heal/recover from it. Being kind to one self can be difficult, as are lowering one's expectations of others. Mea culpa - I expect very little of anyone these days and my disappointments have plummeted.

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Defeated a mysterious plant issue in my DWC- grow. So happy to have all the factors align. I wish you a nice monday night, if there is such!
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That is a beautiful design on your cappuccino!
I’m impressed! Excellent work on figuring out the plant issue, that’s not always very easy.
The original Gypsy tour location for Bike week! Crowds became too large and the week was moved to Laconia.
I, as a child in the 70s, lived in Meredith. Fun location and will be quite busy with tourist.
Sounds like I’m headed directly into the storm. Oh well, what else is new. I guess I will have to go back to Burlington Vermont for stash. I like that town .

Does anyone have any tips and recommendations for transplanting this hydro plant into soil ? It was very tricky getting g her out of my bucket. Believe it or not, I save all of those roots!
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The first time I got an anxiety attack was the worst. I knew exactly what was happening, and luckily I was at a waiting room for my therapist, but even knowing that, I couldn't breathe. It was like ten times worse than when you accidentally start manually breathing (sorry for anyone who catches a stray, sometimes reading it triggers it, lol). And I was so tense and agitated that it felt like my muscles were locked up. I wanted to scream and cry and like spin in circles tearing stuff up, but also not be near anything that made noise. Horrible sensation. Do not recommend.

I've had two panic attacks that just came out of nowhere. The first and worst was about a decade ago when my son was at my place for the weekend. He was sleeping and I was just chilling like usual. My heart started to go nuts, I started sweating, and couldn't breathe. I thought I was going to pass out. I called 911 as I was sure it was a heart attack. The operator asked me many questions and calmed me down, and after about ten minutes on the line things started to get back to normal. It really just came out of nowhere (seemingly). I had another a few years later, much less severe. We are strange, messy, and complicated creatures. We need all the help we can get...
 
That is a beautiful design on your cappuccino!
I’m impressed! Excellent work on figuring out the plant issue, that’s not always very easy.
Sounds like I’m headed directly into the storm. Oh well, what else is new. I guess I will have to go back to Burlington Vermont for stash. I like that town .

Does anyone have any tips and recommendations for transplanting this hydro plant into soil ? It was very tricky getting g her out of my bucket. Believe it or not, I save all of those roots!
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I've done dwc to coco by just popping it in, watering and going. The plant drooped for a few days, and drank less than a plant of its size that was just grown in coco, but it popped back. Good luck!
 
Thank you for warning me! We are driving in that last day the 22nd. Sunday. coming in on either hwy three or roller coaster road? Lol…to an airbb by weirs beach .

Sounds like the usual mess, I avoid it. I got caught up in that twice accidentally. Nice to see you back in nicer weather!

 
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