BROSKI IM FADED
Active Member
What are the best brands and what are your guys success stories I really need a good brand asap for a job I just had a newborn and moved 15 hours away to north carolina
Best drug test fake pee brands...
- Thread starter BROSKI IM FADED
- Start date
Richard Drysift
Well-Known Member
Quick fix worked for me. Mixed, nuked it in the microwave and then used the leg strap thingy & hand warmer to keep it hot. Had to sit for like a hour+ before my test and the piss actually did stay warm under my ballsack. Luckily it was a hot day.
Don’t get the stupid fake dick whizzinator thing; it looks so fake. I doubt anyone being observed could get away with it unless they are truly great actors and the observer is legally blind.
Don’t get the stupid fake dick whizzinator thing; it looks so fake. I doubt anyone being observed could get away with it unless they are truly great actors and the observer is legally blind.
Lordhooha
Well-Known Member
Seems like your priorities aren’t in line. Depending on the job and the test it can be a simple strip test or one that can detect masking agents and all.
Employment drug screens are easy at 99% of places they don’t watch you pee. Find a small travel size bottle that’s clean of all soap(just buy new empty ones). Get a friend that doesn’t do drugs or take prescription medicine(and same sex is best) to pee for you. Put in bottle and stick under your arm pit or in your tighty whitey.
Only thing that can mess this up is if they watch, or if you get the temp too hot or cold, so no microwave and keep against your body for maybe an hour to make sure temps is good.
If you can find out if they watch and they do. That can usually be beaten too, depending on who is doing it. Probation officers, cops, and prison guards like to walk right up and watch it. But most normal people just walk in the bathroom and wait while standing somewhere behind you, they are just as uncomfortable as you. For a job I’ve never even had them try to watch. But once in rehab guy tried to and all I did was get a lil mouthy and acted like he might be enjoying looking too much and he got embarrassed and backed off. Asked me to keep one hand behind my back while I peed, lol. I had basketball shorts on under my jeans with the bottle tied to the strings. I was able to pull it off one handed.
Of course I guess sometimes things change, this was all years ago. And I did fail two pre employment drug screens but they were the mouth swab kind. Which I know people think are easy but I failed and once I used a product from head shop that was guarantee to work, the other time I just tried rinsing with peroxide and mouth wash several times before interview.
Only thing that can mess this up is if they watch, or if you get the temp too hot or cold, so no microwave and keep against your body for maybe an hour to make sure temps is good.
If you can find out if they watch and they do. That can usually be beaten too, depending on who is doing it. Probation officers, cops, and prison guards like to walk right up and watch it. But most normal people just walk in the bathroom and wait while standing somewhere behind you, they are just as uncomfortable as you. For a job I’ve never even had them try to watch. But once in rehab guy tried to and all I did was get a lil mouthy and acted like he might be enjoying looking too much and he got embarrassed and backed off. Asked me to keep one hand behind my back while I peed, lol. I had basketball shorts on under my jeans with the bottle tied to the strings. I was able to pull it off one handed.
Of course I guess sometimes things change, this was all years ago. And I did fail two pre employment drug screens but they were the mouth swab kind. Which I know people think are easy but I failed and once I used a product from head shop that was guarantee to work, the other time I just tried rinsing with peroxide and mouth wash several times before interview.
BROSKI IM FADED
Active Member
Seems like your heads way above your shoulders, but nah it's just a piss test and I think I'm just gonna use the quickfix and give it a quick quiet shake before I hand it over that's the only thing I'm worried about is bubbles looking real
BROSKI IM FADED
Active Member
I know quickfix will pass in all the other ways but does it look real. My girl failed a test recently because it didn't look real
Lordhooha
Well-Known Member
Just saying if you have a newborn smoking or growing unless it's in the industry seems like the least of your worries. I don't even let my people smoke on the job. I need people that are clear headed even if they're working with plants or dispensary. Just remember fake piss and masking agents can be detected depending on the type of test. And like it's been said before if they watch your screwed. It's better to not smoke for a bit to get the job. Either way good luck home cat.
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Drop That Sound
Well-Known Member
I got a few stories..
Way back when I was still a high school drop out teenager, I was trying to get a job and needed to pass a test. I had a for sure clean buddy that agreed to pee in my homemade whizzinator contraption, but he lived like an hour away in the mountains.
I told him to start drinking a bunch of gatorades\water and that I would be there right away. That was sometime in the evening, before fucking off for a time. I think my car was out of gas, and I spent like an hour or so scrounging up. I kept calling and checking on the status of his bladder.
Anyway, a bunch of other crap came up, and took me even longer to backtrack to town for gas. On my way back through I stopped to call, and he had to go. Now. I was still an hour out, but on my way.
Like that one horror movie?.. where the mom abuses the daughter, and chains her to the piano.. when he said I really gotta pee, I was like "you better hold it!", haha. He was like ok man but it hurt's. I hopped back in my rig and hit the pedal to the medal. Made it to his house in like 35 minutes.
I pull in the driveway, late at night, and there was my buddy standing on the porch. Holding his crotch, and pacing back and forth. I was like dang dude i'm so sorry it too.. Then his mom opens the door and pops out. She was like "what the hell is going on? Whats the matter with you", because we were being suspicious about it. That's when he caved in and told her I needed his pee, lol. I got the worst dirty mom look, and he got shrieked at. "J***** what the hell are you doing! I could go to jail, blah blah blah..".
He looked at me and was like "sorry man", and ran behind the house. I could hear him pissing for like 10 minutes as I got scalded. He held it for like 3 hours or something, and if I remember it evenurt for a few days, lol.
I remember as I walked back to my car (without a pouch full of urine), telling him thanks man, you just pissed my new job down the drain!
Hahaha, gotta run but I'll be back soon with the other story (episode 2), and how to actually pull it off.
Way back when I was still a high school drop out teenager, I was trying to get a job and needed to pass a test. I had a for sure clean buddy that agreed to pee in my homemade whizzinator contraption, but he lived like an hour away in the mountains.
I told him to start drinking a bunch of gatorades\water and that I would be there right away. That was sometime in the evening, before fucking off for a time. I think my car was out of gas, and I spent like an hour or so scrounging up. I kept calling and checking on the status of his bladder.
Anyway, a bunch of other crap came up, and took me even longer to backtrack to town for gas. On my way back through I stopped to call, and he had to go. Now. I was still an hour out, but on my way.
Like that one horror movie?.. where the mom abuses the daughter, and chains her to the piano.. when he said I really gotta pee, I was like "you better hold it!", haha. He was like ok man but it hurt's. I hopped back in my rig and hit the pedal to the medal. Made it to his house in like 35 minutes.
I pull in the driveway, late at night, and there was my buddy standing on the porch. Holding his crotch, and pacing back and forth. I was like dang dude i'm so sorry it too.. Then his mom opens the door and pops out. She was like "what the hell is going on? Whats the matter with you", because we were being suspicious about it. That's when he caved in and told her I needed his pee, lol. I got the worst dirty mom look, and he got shrieked at. "J***** what the hell are you doing! I could go to jail, blah blah blah..".
He looked at me and was like "sorry man", and ran behind the house. I could hear him pissing for like 10 minutes as I got scalded. He held it for like 3 hours or something, and if I remember it evenurt for a few days, lol.
I remember as I walked back to my car (without a pouch full of urine), telling him thanks man, you just pissed my new job down the drain!
Hahaha, gotta run but I'll be back soon with the other story (episode 2), and how to actually pull it off.
BROSKI IM FADED
Active Member
I appreciate it man, and nah you're right though I'm working on coming clean, and I just smoke at home with my lady and never around my work schedule I smoke very respectively lol
Drop That Sound
Well-Known Member
Long story short, I eventually real eyed all about the tests. Was on probation a few months at some point, so I know whats up with that kind too, good luck if that is the case.
As others said, the temperature is probably the biggest thing. Its the first thing that is looked at on the indicator strip on the sample bottle, immediately upon collection.
I did all the research because I was needing to pass another test, for another job.
This time though, I had a master plan..
One of my buddies moms was a nurse at a care facility, and I got the hook up on IV bags.
They were kind of big so I cut one in half, and re sealed it with one of those electric bag sealers that fuses it together. The IV bags also have a pouch flap, for holding papers in.. Perfect to put a hand warmer pouch in! That way you can sandwich the bag in between your upper crotch and the hand warmer, for maximum warmth.
I taped it all up nice to the inside of a pair of boxers, right around the stretchy band. I cut off most the tubing, and dripper gizmo, and only reused the existing valve that opens up the flow. It was perfect, and I could suck in my got a little and you couldn't tell. Open my zip and there is the kink valve ready to open.
I did test runs with water and a thermometer to make sure it was between 90-100 degrees. Pretty good.
Test day was coming up, and I got a lock on my buddies dads piss. Clean as a whistle, always giving shit about being a pothead. His son is the one that was getting recommended me the job too, in the aerospace industry.
I had him fill up a water bottle, and it was the raunchiest orange piss ever, hahaha.
The big day finally came up, and I pulled the pee out of the fridge. I stuck the tipe of the IV bags shutoff valve into the nasty piss and pulled on the sides of the IV pouch, sucking up about a half cup or so.
It was a hot ass day outside and i pulled up to the place for my appointment. They told me it might be a bit longer so I went back out and sat in my car, with the sun on my junk.
I finally get signed in, and some old nurse hag lady comes to get me. Takes me to a back room that was like half office half waiting room... Not completly private from people walking by.
I filled out a few papers, and that's when she handed me the sample bottle. I thought everything was going smooth, except I remember having to piss for real.
I grab the bottle, and that's when it happened. The hag nurse just crossed her arms, looked me up and down, and stared at me. It felt like 20 seconds, but i'm not sure.
I was like wait, wtf. The biggest gut wrenching adrenaline feeling came over me, and I couldn't help but start shaking\trembling. I seriously thought she wanted me to drop my drawers right there in front of her, exposing my gear. It almost scared the piss right out of me, haha.
She was finally like, "oh btw, the door is over there, just don't flush after your done". I was like OMG wtf, and couldn't even barely walk to the bathroom in the hallway.
I got in the bathroom, and my hands were trembling so bad I couldn't work the valve, and the nasty piss started coming out a little bit, getting on my boxers and thigh. I pulled through though and filled up the bottle, and even had some piss left to trickle in the pot, so it sounded more real just incase.
I took care of business, and washed my hands, looking at the bottle sitting there, at the temp strip.
When I walked back do the room to hand it to her, I had to sign my initials on a sticker like strip, and my hand was still shaking so bad I scribbled like a 1 year old.
That ***** got me. I just know she does that shit to every dude that walks up in that place. Makes them super uncomfortable like that. Haha.
I got the job.
As others said, the temperature is probably the biggest thing. Its the first thing that is looked at on the indicator strip on the sample bottle, immediately upon collection.
I did all the research because I was needing to pass another test, for another job.
This time though, I had a master plan..
One of my buddies moms was a nurse at a care facility, and I got the hook up on IV bags.
They were kind of big so I cut one in half, and re sealed it with one of those electric bag sealers that fuses it together. The IV bags also have a pouch flap, for holding papers in.. Perfect to put a hand warmer pouch in! That way you can sandwich the bag in between your upper crotch and the hand warmer, for maximum warmth.
I taped it all up nice to the inside of a pair of boxers, right around the stretchy band. I cut off most the tubing, and dripper gizmo, and only reused the existing valve that opens up the flow. It was perfect, and I could suck in my got a little and you couldn't tell. Open my zip and there is the kink valve ready to open.
I did test runs with water and a thermometer to make sure it was between 90-100 degrees. Pretty good.
Test day was coming up, and I got a lock on my buddies dads piss. Clean as a whistle, always giving shit about being a pothead. His son is the one that was getting recommended me the job too, in the aerospace industry.
I had him fill up a water bottle, and it was the raunchiest orange piss ever, hahaha.
The big day finally came up, and I pulled the pee out of the fridge. I stuck the tipe of the IV bags shutoff valve into the nasty piss and pulled on the sides of the IV pouch, sucking up about a half cup or so.
It was a hot ass day outside and i pulled up to the place for my appointment. They told me it might be a bit longer so I went back out and sat in my car, with the sun on my junk.
I finally get signed in, and some old nurse hag lady comes to get me. Takes me to a back room that was like half office half waiting room... Not completly private from people walking by.
I filled out a few papers, and that's when she handed me the sample bottle. I thought everything was going smooth, except I remember having to piss for real.
I grab the bottle, and that's when it happened. The hag nurse just crossed her arms, looked me up and down, and stared at me. It felt like 20 seconds, but i'm not sure.
I was like wait, wtf. The biggest gut wrenching adrenaline feeling came over me, and I couldn't help but start shaking\trembling. I seriously thought she wanted me to drop my drawers right there in front of her, exposing my gear. It almost scared the piss right out of me, haha.
She was finally like, "oh btw, the door is over there, just don't flush after your done". I was like OMG wtf, and couldn't even barely walk to the bathroom in the hallway.
I got in the bathroom, and my hands were trembling so bad I couldn't work the valve, and the nasty piss started coming out a little bit, getting on my boxers and thigh. I pulled through though and filled up the bottle, and even had some piss left to trickle in the pot, so it sounded more real just incase.
I took care of business, and washed my hands, looking at the bottle sitting there, at the temp strip.
When I walked back do the room to hand it to her, I had to sign my initials on a sticker like strip, and my hand was still shaking so bad I scribbled like a 1 year old.
That ***** got me. I just know she does that shit to every dude that walks up in that place. Makes them super uncomfortable like that. Haha.
I got the job.