All the way from Hot Springs. Fresh outta detox.

Skuxx

Well-Known Member
Hot Springs is in Northern Cali. It's a great place to get clean. Drakesbed at Mt. Lassen National Park actual has some actual springs. I spent a lot of time there. Last year I spent weeks crying and used up every one of my veins. Thought about the worst. Then crushed up some more. Finally came out of my spiral and realized my kid deserves everything my parents never gave me. She deserves so much better than some selfish shithead that cannot even respect himself. Since then I've learned to deal with my emotional problems with something new. So, I've turned myself back into something positive. I've been drumming again for at least 30 minutes a day, and helping my boy write for his newest project. I may even get a chance to tour with them if I can stay healthy. That would be the ultimate redemption for me. To create and pursue the music I've been a part of since I was a kid. They think like me. They believe there is still something called aboriginality. I want to speak. They gave me a voice.

/rant_over
Thanks for sharing. I didn't know you were down that road. I've never been on the needle nor do I have a kid, but can probably relate in most other aspects... Don't stop spiraling though! Just make sure it's in the direction you want! Drumming is great, I really need to add a new hobby to my life like that.

 

Pinworm

Well-Known Member
If you don't have one already, put a pic of your daughter in your wallet next to your cash.
If you get the urge - look @ the pic first.

Best of luck my friend.
Truly!
Thank you, boss. That means a lot coming from you. Honestly.

Thanks for sharing. I didn't know you were down that road. I've never been on the needle nor do I have a kid, but can probably relate in most other aspects... Don't stop spiraling though! Just make sure it's in the direction you want! Drumming is great, I really need to add a new hobby to my life like that.

I don't mind sharing with someone who I know understands. Thanks for being you. Come to the hugs thread, and I'll hook you up with a second.
 

Hookabelly

Well-Known Member
Finally came out of my spiral and realized my kid deserves everything my parents never gave me. She deserves so much better than some selfish shithead that cannot even respect himself.
/rant_over
*grabs Pin in a headlock and gives noogies* I knew you had it in you. Way to go little brother. Keep drumming too ok? Cathartic. You are a huge personality and you need a creative outlet. Stay strong.
 

Pinworm

Well-Known Member
*grabs Pin in a headlock and gives noogies* I knew you had it in you. Way to go little brother. Keep drumming too ok? Cathartic. You are a huge personality and you need a creative outlet. Stay strong.
Assholes love to test the limits. But, big sister knows best. I agree. A catharsis and then some. I've just never feared consequences. Hated regrets more than apologies. Thanks for being you, sweets.

I have all the faith in you Pin
Your faith in me means more to me than you will ever know, boss.
 

Hookabelly

Well-Known Member
Assholes love to test the limits. But, big sister knows best. I agree. A catharsis and then some. I've just never feared consequences. Hated regrets more than apologies. Thanks for being you, sweets.

.
Were you at any organized facility? Or did you just go on a sojourn?
 

Pinworm

Well-Known Member
Were you at any organized facility? Or did you just go on a sojourn?
Both, sort of. I hung out with those guys that need the AA mentality to make it. However, I am not a spiritually devoid person. I didn't and still don't subscribe to the 12 steps. I think faith in humanity is so much more stronger.
 

Skuxx

Well-Known Member
Both, sort of. I hung out with those guys that need the AA mentality to make it. However, I am not a spiritually devoid person. I didn't and still don't subscribe to the 12 steps. I think faith in humanity is so much more stronger.
I have a lot of problems with the 12 step program. I've been to a couple rehabs and took the most from the experiences, and have great memories in rehab really, but could never get into the steps.

I haven't had any addiction problems like I did have in a few years now, but I'm still fucked up by most standards including my own lol
 

Pinworm

Well-Known Member
I have a lot of problems with the 12 step program. I've been to a couple rehabs and took the most from the experiences, and have great memories in rehab really, but could never get into the steps.
They are designed to turn a person into a mindless zombie. Twelve giant steps, one big disappointment. That's not ever going to be me.
 

fumble

Well-Known Member
Hot Springs is in Northern Cali. It's a great place to get clean. Drakesbed at Mt. Lassen National Park actual has some actual springs. I spent a lot of time there. Last year I spent weeks crying and used up every one of my veins. Thought about the worst. Then crushed up some more. Finally came out of my spiral and realized my kid deserves everything my parents never gave me. She deserves so much better than some selfish shithead that cannot even respect himself. Since then I've learned to deal with my emotional problems with something new. So, I've turned myself back into something positive. I've been drumming again for at least 30 minutes a day, and helping my boy write for his newest project. I may even get a chance to tour with them if I can stay healthy. That would be the ultimate redemption for me. To create and pursue the music I've been a part of since I was a kid. They think like me. They believe there is still something called aboriginality. I want to speak. They gave me a voice. They gave me a reason to be someone.

/rant_over
:hug::hug::hug: so proud of you Pin
 

abe supercro

Well-Known Member
yeah mang, good to hear you are taking care and have a fresh outlook. thanks for letting us know what's up and how you r doin. sounds like stuffs are gettin real nice now captain. each day, each week gets a little
more betta :peace:
 

bellcore

Well-Known Member
" I think faith in humanity is so much more stronger." That can be your higher power. A higher power can be anything of your own understanding. That is the cool part. I don't go to many meeting anymore because you hear the same people telling the same stories over and over.
 
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