Like this (top view of before pic)
Here is a pic of the system I am building for our collective
I have never experemented with horizontal grows before.
36 hour dark peroid? Did I miss something?
Wood? you know wood warps right?Like this (top view of before pic)
Here is a pic of the system I am building for our collective
wood is generally the worse route to go... if there is water flowing under that thing and it's not treated, it's gonna warp, split, and possibly grow fungus under it.
The wood has been water sealed (thats not its natural color) It is a 3/4" birch sheet with each hole routered so the net pots drops in flush. Plexiglass (1/2" not clear) would have been perfered but it is $800 a sheet. Also the weekly root chamber maintaince means it will be wiped with H2O2 (hidrogen peroxide) and resealed each grow.
someone is gonna have an operation and isnt going for no one!!!
Huh? To be clear this will not be in my home The law where I live says each person (with their medical) can have 6 plants. Myself and one other in my home have medical papers so we have 12 plants.
Al B. Fuct said:
Stoney's journey for major poundage
- Decide while stoned to become a weed baron
- Plant leftover bagseeds and go looking for lights
- Try to steal neighbor's floodlights, burn fingers, go to plan B after healing up
- Buy incandescent halogen lights at OfficeJerks cos they look real bright and one blacklight over at the head shop cos it's purpleyness is cool as fuck and makes the Jimi Hendrix velvet poster glow something wicked
- 4 out of 72 seeds sprout, fuckin ace!
- All 4 get stretchy, fall over and die
- Put the black light a little closer to cheer it up
- Smoked the dried out seedling, gave me a headache, so I planted some more bagseeds
- Dug out Uncle Bob's marijuana grow book from 1972, marveled at nail-thru-stem technique for improving potency
- 9 out of 147 sprout, fuckin ace!
- Put a pound of nails in salty water to get em good and rusty
- All 9 get stretchy, fall over and die
- I figured they wasn't getting enough light, so I stole granny's big ole heat lamp and a couple of headlights from some passing cars (damn they're hard to grab at stoplights)
- Planted more seeds, put more bullshit and a couple of dead fish in soil mix this time (hey it worked for the Indians and the Pilgrims)
- Neighbours complained about the shitty fish smell, I told them to rack off, so they called the cops, who confiscated all the 'evidence.'
- Saw story on Fox News about wicked intarwebs sites about marijuana growing warping kids brains, figured I wasn't warped enough
- Found pot growing website, figured I'd do a big favor for all those newbie idiots who'd never planted a seed and show em how to do it
- Typed Uncle Bob's entire 1972 Yippie Underground growbook into the pot growing website, waited for praises to flow in
- No one said nothing, so I typed it in again IN ALL CAPS SO THEY COULD READ IT BETTER
- Decided I'd hang around and learn something, there's this guy who says his friend's uncle's brother in law once knew a guy who grew like POUNDAGE in an old refrigerator
- Stole a refrigerator and put all my halogen lights in it along with a 5000 watt security light I found on top of a football stadium
- Planted 693 more seeds in old coconut shells and put a half a box of Miracle Gro granules on each one
- One sprouted and it screamed at me to kill it before it had to spend another second in that damn fridge
- Gave up tryin to be a weed baron
- Got stoned again decided to put the Arabs out of biz with a car the will run on leftover Mountain Dew
- Broke into a vending machine and stole 900 cans of Mountain Dew
- Got high-fructose corn syrup and caffeine poisoning from too many Mountain Dews
- Mountain Dew powered car thing didn't work out, went back to read pot message board, figured I might be a w33d b4R0n yet
- Read on pot board about growing plants under blue & red LEDs in pure molasses, figured this is the way of the future
- Stole 50 LED brake lights for the red ones and stole a few mobile phones for the blue ones
- Planted 1272 seeds in Miracle Gro soil with a couple bags of Osmocote and some 10-50-10 orchid ferts tossed in to make sure nothin starves
- 17 seeds sprouted, fucken ace!
- Figured the plants wasnt carbo-loading enuff, so put a kilo of cooked spaghetti on the plants
- Spaghetti looked naked, added bolognaise sauce
- 2 weeks pass before the plants work out that there's any light comin from the LEDs
- Phones hung around the seedlings keep ringin in the middle of the night, fucken annoying
- Plants get stretchy, fall over and die again
- Mould seems to like the molasses, decided to become a m0uld b4R0n instead
- Accidentally got some mould up my nose, turned out to be 'magic' mould, kinda sykadelic and shroomy
- Tripped for 3 days, watched my fridge turn into a white whale which called himself Kelvinator the Magnifacent and drank up all my bongwater
- Came down long enough to build a hydroponic magic mould grow op
- Got all me mates higher than Jesus on magic mould, suddenly couldn't grow enuff of it
- Me mates started a bidding war for the magic mould and I became an overnite Ebay millionaire, fucken ace!
- Government made 'magic' mould illegal the very next day, protesters hit the streets with 'DON'T BREAK THE MOULD' signs
- Cops busted me for proceeds of crime, took me money and let me go
- Got stoned and went back to read pot board, read all about light spectrum and flowervegging
- Planted 1639 seeds in wool, threw in some rocks, cos Big W don't have rockwool, figured its close enuff
- Worked out the right light colour for vegflowering (a kinda reddish blue) and made up a piccie in my stolen copy of Fotoslop wot was the rite colour
- Stole a half dozen real big computer monitors and connected them all to me computer, pointed me monitors at the plants
- 18 sprouted, fucken ace!
- Rocks I threw in the wool turned out to be limestones which musta pHucked the pH or something
- Plants got stretchy, fell over and died
- Got stoned and tried to work out how to sell bags of stretchy, dead seedlings to pot virgins
- Tried to sell a bag to a real noob, he reckoned I was tryin to stiff him so he busted my jaw
- Real annoyed here in the hospital, I can get high but can't eat no corn chips with me jaw wired shut
- Worked out how to eat corn chips thru a tube, lawyer man from Doritos calls up and offers to buy me out
- Sold me corn-chips-thru-a-tube idea for millions, fucken ace!
- Got sued by some wanker from Urinistan for patent infringement on his sugar-beet chips thru a tube invention, Howard's new free trade agreement let the bastard take everything but me bong
- Found out where Howard was doin his morning walk, chucked me bong at him and yelled at the bastard a lot
- In jail now, Ruddock sez I'm a terrierist doper, Andrews is tryin to deport me to me homeland but he can't work out wot country Wollongong's in
- Got chucked out to Nauru til my immigration thing gets fixed by the suits
- Bloody noice weather here in Nauru, local ganja is the bizness, learnin how to grow from these cool islander dudes workin as guards here at the detention camp, this week's lesson is about to how to sprout seeds right
- That Rudd guy got elected and all of a sudden he shuts down the bloody Nauru camp, stopping me dope growin school
- Just this week worked out how to feminise seeds with piss from a pregnant Nauruan tiger vole when they shut down the Spacific Solution and chucked me out to Christmas Island
- Pissed orf, looked all over this damn island, can't find Santa anywhere, total ripoff
- Tiger vole scratches finally healin up, they don't like bein messed with much when there pregnant
- Some bright spark works out the Wollongong's in Australia so they sent this Oceanic Viking boat out to get me and take me back home
- On the way home we caught up with these badarse Sea Shepard pirate dudes, so I jumped on there Steve Erwin boat, forced them to smoke Nauru Nitemare joints and demanded they hold me hostage
- Capn Paul was sorry but he didn't need no hostages and could I please just piss orf cos he had shit to do and whales to shave
- After that these mad stoned Sheperd dudes jumped on this Jap whale boat, totally messed with them and got taken hostage, works out they got the whole idea from me, fucken ace!
- So I'm fineally back home, found out wile I was gone that some seeds I chucked out the back yard sprouted and grew bitchen plants
- Plants flowered like mad cos I accidently spilled a bag of cow poo on the yard
- While I was away, the plants dried natcherly and yielded POUNDAGE, fucken ace!
- Too bad this all happened 2 weeks before I got home but by then the whole suburb was higher than Jesus after some dude named Cory in yellow sunnies threw a house party at my place while I was still lookin for Santa
- Tryin to work out how plants grew so good without the minit-by-minit help of a w33d b4R0n like myself
- Ran out of Nauru Nitemare, smoked up all the roaches Cory left around here now out of smoke again
- Was usin this one pot forum where there sponsor was sellin this legal 'herbal cannabis' stuff
- Couldn't find nuthn bad about legal herbs on this board so I figured I'd buy a couple pounds
- Was like smokin pencil shavings and oregano but I got banned off the forum anyway when I told everyone about it
- Had to get my money back out of the shit so I sold it to some noob
- Noob smoked some of the pencil shavings and oregano and came back and punched me out for sellin him crap
- I showed him the fancy magazine ad for these "ULTrA Hy-DRO BuDz," he still wuzint impressed
- Back to square one, got to find a way to hide my grow from my mom, read on this pot forum about growing in a computer box
- Stole a computer and some CFLs, put computer fanz in the thing and a carbon filter
- Planted 1837 seeds, 4 came up, fucken ace!
- All of em but one got stretchy, fell over and died
- One of em kept on goin for 3 months, actcherly turning into bud!!
- Got 10 WHOLE GRAMS of bumfluff and leaf after 4 months, fucken ace!
- Smoked it in 20 minutes, gave me a headache, went lookin for more seeds
- Found a buncha seeds cowering under the couch, I guess they seen wot happened to the others and were hopin I didn't find em
- Decided to use good garden shop sense, planted 2012 seeds in Osmocote potting soil with a pound of Osmocote cos it never burns plants
- 18 sprouts came up, fucken ace!
- Plants are lookin like someone put em in a toaster, cant be the pound of Osmocote I put in the teaspoon of soil, it says its time released, dammit!
- Decided I better wash the Osmocote out of the soil, took a week, but the teaspoon of soil I mixed with the pound of Osmocote is still stuck to the roots, sorta, I guess, they're all nice & brown
- Tryin to work out how much light to give em, mebbe part of the day outside and part under some tanning bed lites I stole
- Some smart guy on this cannabis forum told me my tanning lites was junk and to go read the GrowFAQ, I reckon he was just bein a jerk cos I've done this all before and I know better so I didn't listen
- Plants got stretchy, fell over and died
- Mom just yelled at me for taken the innards out of her computer and wants to know why theirs pots of soil where her hard drive should be and by the way wot happened to all her god dam Osmocote
- I got to mow the lawn for the next twelve years to pay mom back for the computer and all the missing Osmocote
- Petrol can has a leak so I gotta push the mower to the servo to fill it up, on the way spotted a weed plant growing in some bushes a bit off the road
- It looked lonely, like it needed the help of a w33d b4R0n like myself so I stole some birth control pills off my mom to make sure it gets feminised
- Since it was off the road a bit and kinda private and I knew it wasn't gonna get pregnant, I decided to have a wank on the plant
- Just when I got goin good this joker comes tearin out of the bushes yellin wot am I doin to his poor plant?!
- I didnt know it was somebodys plant, I thot it had just kinda escaped and gone feral or something
- Guy told me if I ever messed with his plant again he would make me into Osmocote
- Went home and mowed the lawn and thort about Plan C
- Got bored, went back to pot forum, no one would talk to me cos they said I don't no much about growin weed
- Made a new account name to make me sound more impotent... no thats not rite I mean IMPORTANT not impotent
- I'll show em all by posting that I can clone a leaf, which I cant but it sure sounds impressive
- When the jerks tell me it cant be done and to post my proof I tell them they are all stupid fucken idiots and a lot more dum than me, heheh THAT will show em that I am a w33d b4R0n and they are NOT
- My stradegy worked, now no one questions my l33t sk1llz no more, in fact they dont talk to me at all
- Got tired of no one paying attention so I made a sokpuppet account to agree with myself
- No one wuz fooled, god dam shit sonofabitch, pissin me off
- Got stoned and tried to clone sum stolen leafs under pure UV light
- Leafs wilted, fell over and died so I busted some fly w33d b4R0n moves on its ass and called it nasty names like sayin its mum was a god dam begonia
- Got caught going back to steal more leafs by the guy who saw me having a bat on his plant, back in hospital again, feeling about like a bag of Osmocote
- Having me jaw wired up getting pretty old, wonder if there should be a Plan D
- Out of the horspital now, went back to the pot bored to see if ne1 missed me, they did, they sed it had been nice and quiet without me
- So I desided it wuz as good a time as eny to argue wif the stoners, told em I had a perpetual motion masheen wot gives me free energy from fermented dog poo for my 5000 whatt gro lite
- Thoze smart guys just told me I am an idiot like usual but I dont care, its fun to get ther gotes so I told em to blow on my brass ballz
- Out of weed agin, cant get the brass ball blowers to give me none, wonder why
- Bored, decided to go bowling, found a couple pounds of seeds I hid in the boling ball bag mebbe 5 years ago and fergot about, they looked happey to see me but mabey they were just nervus
- Planted 2256 seeds in pure bat shit, my 2000 LEDs and the 5000 what security lite I found on that footy stadium waznt workin out so I thot those CLF lites wood be the next big thang, at least thats wot I toled everywun on the pot bored
- Got 172 CLF lites goin in a shoe box, nuthins sprouted after a munth so I gave em some mole asses
- Moles union got wind of it, now there out front picketing my place for mole abuse
- I promised em I wood switch to pancake suryp instead of mole asses, so they quit protestin and smoked a joint of there mole buds with me, witch tasted a lot like mole asses, raisin my suspishins that there just keepin the truth frum me
- 9 seeds sprouted, fucken ace!
- Figured they wasn't getting enuff c02 so I chucked a couple pounds of dry ice in the shoebox with the FCLs witch is now smoking cool as fuck with all the fog and stuff, liek sumfing out uv a hore movey
- Came back later and the seedlings looked all frosty like they was freez dryed or something
- Obveusley they needed moar c02 so I pored in sum brewer yeest and waited a wile
- Started smellin like a brewry in there witch made me kinda thirsty so I pored a nice frosty mug of the goo drippin out of the shoebox, tasted a bit like beer but the bat shit made it a bit too tangy
- Seedlings got stretchy, fell over and died
- I reckin that them fancy LCFs were to blame so I wint out and stole 40 moar of them
- Gettin hard to fit in moar than 200 FLCs in me shoebox, gotta upsize to the big leauge, so I stole me a breadbox
- bonus! still had bred in it, good thing cos I was starvin, so I made a sammich
- Worried that the coppers will think I'm a comershal w33d b4R0n with me huuuuuge new grobox, painted it white to make it look smaller, cos evrywun noes all the really big ones are black
- Got 211 CFCs in me bredbox, dam its brite in their, pirty hot too, should make the ladies get fat as a trailer park blojob queen in nuthin flat
- Planted 2467 seeds in 50% dogshit, 50% catshit and 50% fishshit
- Toled evrywun on the pot bored about my new hi-output bredbox, stoopid moarons on pot bored think it will neva work and that I am real bad at math
- I got my sokpupit to tell me I wuz doin grate things to advans the art of growing doap so then I felt a little better
- 6 seeds sprouted, fucken ace!
- 4 of them looked around & sed holeeeeee fuck and ducked rite back in there shells, little chickenshits, I sed
- The other 2 got stretchy, fell over and died
- Bredbox was still pritty hot so I stole sum of my lil sisters E-Z Bake oven stuff and made cupcakes
- Cupcakes was OK sept for they smelt a little like catdogfishshit
- Not sher wear to go next but its 4:20 and I gotta go think about it fer a wile
