Were you smoking pot while putting out job applications? I'm no help here but I do have a story that's totally unrelated to synthetic urine. I bought some synthetic powder several years ago, it was a white powder. I mixed it with nail polish and poured it all over some kind of blue herb and let it dry. I smoked it for about two years and it was 10x more powerful than weed. It was so strong it scared the crap out of me every time, but I just kept smoking it so I didn't have to worry about drug tests. I had thoughts about the universe, the earth just floating through space which has no top or bottom (so we're ALWAYS upside down!), and gravity ... that still scare me when I get high, so much that I can't even sit on the balcony very long before grabbing the door handle and getting back inside before I fly off into the sky.
So there it is. You might fail your drug test (unless you get ahold of some goat semen) but now you have a good story to cheer you up.