Throwing in the Towel...

[ThE sAtIvA hIgH]

Well i just recently moved in with my girlfriend, i've never done that before. Just got a new job, been eating only once or twice a day because of it... lol. I only did the praying thing a couple of days, but i agree with Heis on this one. I can't look to some imaginary place in my mind to give me comfort, i have to deal with it head on.

I had another dream this morning, i was in this white room, somehow i knew it was underground, i looked around and there were no doors, just a pane of glass on one side of the room, as i watched these creatures, about 8-10 of them came stumbling towards the glass, as they got closer they all merged together and came through the glass and this old woman appeared, she was floating and shadows started bursting out of her face, she was screaming, and i heard a voice say "You have to face your inner demons".

It came with the same unbending fear of a night terror, yet less prevalent. I woke up with a voice in my mind saying the same thing.

Ugh... i wish there was an easy way to understand all of this. But i have a life test coming up soon, and it's something i've been worried about as well. There is this girl, one of my good friends coming to see me next week. Shes actually going to see other friends, just so happens that they are in my area. She is super hot, and we both know we want to fuck. But i know what i need to do. I need to go see her, and refuse the urge to fuck her of my own free will. For some reason i think that will help up my resolve and give me a boost of self confidence and courage.

Thank you guys for all of your input, it means so much, this really has been an ongoing struggle. Hopefully this will help.

i dont think you are supposed to undestand dreams they are just that , dreams , youre sleeping brain creates the dream , and it feels, smells and looks like reality , ive had such crazy, exciting ,scary, exhilarating dreams that i could not even begin to make sense of , ive had things happen to me like , i dreamt of a friend id not seen for 8 years, 1 week later he shows up at my door , enough to make me crazy ? not quite , i believe every once in a while coincidence will throw up something that can be mistaken for something that connects my dreams to reality .
i love dreaming but i make a point of not to dwell on what happens in the dream world ,sometimes i can have my fun being completely lucid in my dreams but sometimes i can wake up and feel really shitty and freaked out about what happend in the dream , sometimes it can really alter my mood for days .

 

[ThE sAtIvA hIgH]

a dream that turns semi lucid for me recently and its quite disturbing , is a dream that me and my step dad are trying to get rid of a body ,i never see who the body is or what it looks like its usually wrapped up in like black plastic wrap , we argue about what to do , and the feeling of anxiety and panic usually starts lucid dreaming , the body is nearly allways found at some point and i usually wake up . on one occasion i was totally aware of everything going on and managed to fight with the people who discoverd the body i threw one in the river and did something else to the other person i cant remember4 , but i remember thinking so what now , ive broke the usual cycle of someone finding us out so what now , i woke up shortly after .

 

[Flaming Pie]

I have some crazy dreams when I am withdrawing from my meds.. Or when my hormones are outta wack (which is all the time now that I am pregnant)

Sometimes liquor or sheer exhaustion can trigger intense life-like dreams for me as well.



As far as the friend/girl coming to visit, is she a friend because she is hot or because you truly have alot in common? Why is it known that you both want to bang it out? I suggest you tell her that you no longer want that from her. Saying it will at least make it easier to resist.

 

[hotrodharley]

So, i just had a lucid dream... but i couldn't control it, this has been happening for about 6 months now, many aspects about these lucid dreams have been the same. This one started out with me waking up from from my girlfriends bed (as i was taking a nap in it when i fell asleep), i noticed a distinct burning smell, as i looked outside through the window there was a car, and a boat on fire... my girlfriend was beside me and turned and i said look at that, they are on fire, when i turned again they weren't on fire.

I then looked through the window at a peculiar house, part of it was missing... i squatted down to get a better look and as my eyes traveled past the middle divider of the window it was back to normal, that's when i knew i was in a dream.

My girlfriend disappeared, i walked over to the door... but somehow i knew even before i got there that it would be locked, sure enough, it was. I turned around and knew that i wouldn't be able to get out the window either... (as this has been happening for months now) so i sat down cross legged... then all the sudden i appeared outside, and i saw the trees start to burn, a fire bigger than the landscape, and a feeling of dread comparable to my sleep paralysis night terrors.

I knew i was dreaming so i tried to fly into the sky like i usually do, to only come back down, i turned away from the fire and started to try to fly away, but it was more like a really long jump.. i started losing control and moving in circles until i managed to catch onto a tree branch, i didn't know what else to do... i figure, a back flip seems kind of scary from up here... lets just try that, so i did... and i slowly woke up with my eyes open looking at my pillow. The feeling of dread, guilt and fear did not subside for a while after i awoke.

I haven't told anyone about these things, but they have been happening regularly, different signs, different things happening that i can't explain even within this reality (yet nothing supernatural). I am afraid i am going to go to hell, and i think i have been getting extremely minor glimpses of what it is going to be like. I don't know what to do, I'm either going mad, or i need to make a change, or both. I have to stop doing things that go against what i think is right, if i don't, i am terrified that i will suffer for it when i die. I hate thinking like this, but it just won't go away, it keeps staring me in the face, the more time passes the more intense the feelings and reality of it all becomes. The more i try to deny it, the more powerfully it seems to bombard my mind.

I think I'm going to start to pray, though i don't like the bible nor the teachings. These things are really hard for me to say, because they go against everything i stand for, logic, science, evidence, this reality... but it is so persistent that i can't deny it any longer, and i don't really have anyone else to tell this stuff to.

I think I'm just going to try that out for a while, to see if these visions stop, to see if these dreams come to an end. I haven't been the best person lately, cheating on my girlfriend, which is something i know i need to stop doing... though i haven't done it in months and it was only a few times.

I don't know, i guess I'm ready for the ridicule, the scientific hypothesis, the spiritual interpretation, and the theological explanations. I guess I'm just looking for any kind of advice that may be able to help me out with this. The only other things i can think of are to pray for forgiveness to some god, and to try my best to refrain from doing things that i think are wrong... any other advice, thoughts or ideas are more than welcome.

Thanks RIU.

Have you had a head CT scan or MRI? You mention smells and that can be a sign of a brain tumor. Not trying to scare but advise and hope you see an MD or DO if you have not already.

 

[Zaehet Strife]

Have you never been able to smell things in your dreams?

 

[hotrodharley]

Have you never been able to smell things in your dreams?

Not that I recall. Sights - yes. But not tastes or smells. But that is just me. I urge you to see a doctor and tell them everything.

 

[Flaming Pie]

Dang, that would be terrible. I would look into that Zae.

 

[Zaehet Strife]

Hey, ya never know for sure unless you get tested i guess. /shrug

I've always been able to taste and smell things in my dreams... but i have been an avid lucid dreamer for the past 9 years though, ah well. No health insurance so i guess i'll just have to ride it out like in the old days.

 

[Flaming Pie]

I don't know about smells, but I can feel things in my dreams.

 

[Zaehet Strife]

I guess it just depends on how lucid you can become, and how good your dream recall is.

 

[Padawanbater2]

Never had a lucid dream, and haven't really had dreams for the past 4 or 5 years, I quit smoking weed for a few months a couple months ago and had much more realistic dreams, and I've never had lucid dreams. If I've smelled or tasted something inside a dream I can't remember. Mostly it's sights and sounds, sometimes I'll wake up feeling something from the dream, but that's also pretty rare..

 

[mudminer]

Hi Zaehet. I apologize for jumping in so late and even moreso for joining the thread without having read it all (something I try not to do) but I felt compelled to send some thoughts in your direction. Some time has elapsed since your OP so if this no longer applies please disregard. Regarding your mentioning that you were considering prayer to "some god" it doesnt need to be that specific. I believe there is something bigger than us (on a spiritual level) in the universe although Im no longer prepared to name it or claim to understand it but I believe our thoughts, concerns, fears can be put out to this entity, power, force on a psychic level and that we can recieve back from it on the same level or even a physical one without knowing specifics of name, title whatever. I also believe that living in fear of something is mentally unhealthy. Maybe trying to put the fear of failing in a particular aspect of your life out of your mind would be helpful. If/when you find your self in a particular situation try to pay heed to your conscience and be strong and do what you know is right. If you could overcome the weakness one time I think it would feed, nourish and stengthen the ability in you to see yourself through those situations in the future. I sincerely hope you dont feel that Ive been condescending to you. Please know that is truly not the spirit any of this has been offered in. I dont envy you in this portion of your journey bro and please know that I wish you well in it. Peace in heart and mind man. Best wishes.

 

[Zaehet Strife]

Never had a lucid dream, and haven't really had dreams for the past 4 or 5 years, I quit smoking weed for a few months a couple months ago and had much more realistic dreams, and I've never had lucid dreams. If I've smelled or tasted something inside a dream I can't remember. Mostly it's sights and sounds, sometimes I'll wake up feeling something from the dream, but that's also pretty rare..

I haven't really been smoking lately, maybe one hit once a week if that. I forgot that quitting smoking cannabis does effect your ability to dream and to recall them as well. Maybe this is having some effect too.

Last night i didn't become lucid, though i did have the opportunity once or twice i chose not to. But the dreams were filled with me cheating on my girlfriend. Today is our one year anniversary. I think it has a lot to do with the fear that i am going to. It's like a recovering coke addict's friend put's a line right in front of his face and no one is around but them. Feels the same way when these girls are willing to fuck and be on their merry way.

I mean, what would you do if a girl that looks like this said that she want's to suck your dick off and fuck your brains out?



Am i alone here with this struggle? Would anyone else have a hard time saying no to something like that? Because it's really, really fucking hard for me.

 

[Padawanbater2]

I haven't really been smoking lately, maybe one hit once a week if that. I forgot that quitting smoking cannabis does effect your ability to dream and to recall them as well. Maybe this is having some effect too.

Last night i didn't become lucid, though i did have the opportunity once or twice i chose not to. But the dreams were filled with me cheating on my girlfriend. Today is our one year anniversary. I think it has a lot to do with the fear that i am going to. It's like a recovering coke addict's friend put's a line right in front of his face and no one is around but them. Feels the same way when these girls are willing to fuck and be on their merry way.

I mean, what would you do if a girl that looks like this said that she want's to suck your dick off and fuck your brains out?

View attachment 2563815

Am i alone here with this struggle? Would anyone else have a hard time saying no to something like that? Because it's really, really fucking hard for me.

That girl looks pretty tempting to me, but to be completely honest, my decision to cheat on my girlfriend or not would never come down to temptation. It's kind of like an 'on/off' switch, if you feel attracted to your girlfriend, are happy together and feel a strong connection, the switch is on and acting on the temptation never even comes to play because you're already getting all your needs met. As soon as some aspect of your relationship is either lacking, becoming stressed or otherwise completely absent, the switch is off and you seek out ways to get your needs met, like acting on the temptation.

I've been exactly where you are, the most beautiful meal right before your hungry eyes, and after, I realized something was lacking in my relationship.

So my advice would depend on your feelings about the state of your current relationship. If you want to make it work, you would most likely need to let any girls making advances know how you feel and sending nsfw pics like that is way over the line. Eliminate the temptation all together. If not, let your girlfriend know how you feel, see how she feels, and take it from there. Best outcome, you both want the same thing, worst outcome, you both want something different. Either way, finding this out will most likely make you both happier in the end.

 

[Zaehet Strife]

Do you think i should tell her i want an open relationship then?

 

[Flaming Pie]

I don't think you are ready for a serious relationship ZAehet. Unless your GF is into open relationships. Then you could have a serious open relationship???

You are hanging on to nudey type pics of a chick that you want to fuck, but then say you don't want to cheat on your gf.

You can't have it both ways. Cut ties with the chick who is sending you nudes, or end the relationship with your GF. That is the only way I see the guilt stopping for you.

 

[Zaehet Strife]

I guess the moral of the story is... you can't have everything you want, without feeling like shit.

 

[cannabineer]

I don't know about smells, but I can feel things in my dreams.

I once dreamt i was being electrocuted. It HURT. I cannot ever remember dreaming smells or flavors though. cn

 

[Padawanbater2]

Do you think i should tell her i want an open relationship then?

Depends on how you think she'll react to that

Why do you want to have an open relationship? Would you be OK with her hooking up with other people?

 

[tyler.durden]

I haven't really been smoking lately, maybe one hit once a week if that. I forgot that quitting smoking cannabis does effect your ability to dream and to recall them as well. Maybe this is having some effect too.

Last night i didn't become lucid, though i did have the opportunity once or twice i chose not to. But the dreams were filled with me cheating on my girlfriend. Today is our one year anniversary. I think it has a lot to do with the fear that i am going to. It's like a recovering coke addict's friend put's a line right in front of his face and no one is around but them. Feels the same way when these girls are willing to fuck and be on their merry way.

I mean, what would you do if a girl that looks like this said that she want's to suck your dick off and fuck your brains out?



Am i alone here with this struggle? Would anyone else have a hard time saying no to something like that? Because it's really, really fucking hard for me.

Looks like what? Where is this pic everyone is talking about? I don't see a pic. I wanna see the pic!