theexpress
Well-Known Member
lol.............
Share your creepy guy stories, ladies
- Thread starter RainbowBrite86
- Start date
RainbowBrite86
Well-Known Member
^^THIS is why we need a ladies only thread. You just don't get it. It's not like that.
racerboy71
bud bootlegger
i admit, i'm not usually one to bitch about spelling and shit online, but damn, that story was super hard to read for me..
RainbowBrite86
Well-Known Member
Alright this one was just as much my fault as it was his, but it was still really bad lol. I had just come out of a relationship a few months before, and it was my first time back in the game. And um, it comes time in the relationship where we move to the next step. Well...I had gotten used to saying "I love you" during sex (lol shut up) and so i'm havig sex for the first time with this guy, and as i'm...you know...finishing...I'm all "Oh oh...ya...fuck...I love you..." ...whoops. So I have a little internal panic moment, cuz I know this guy is going to think i'm a crazy stalker now...but then he grabs my face, kisses me, and tells me he loves me too. And i'm thinking "what?! You can't LOVE me already, what's the matter with you? Are you twelve or something?" But I calm down thinking, OK, I put him in an awkward position, he felt like he had to say it back, alright, we can iron this out. Nope. Clothes going back on he starts to tell me he's so glad I said it because he's been feeling it too and ya. Walk of shame for me.
Dr. Greenhorn
Well-Known Member
Hepheastus420
Well-Known Member
Damn, that sucks for that guy. I hope you told him sorry.
Winter Woman
Well-Known Member
I hate the walk of shame. Once after spending the night I got up and couldn't find my undies... Wait I've told that story before. Never mind.
RainbowBrite86
Well-Known Member
I did. I felt so bad.
Winter Woman
Well-Known Member
How did you handle the phone calls?
RainbowBrite86
Well-Known Member
With the ignore button and a red face lol
Capt. Stickyfingers
Well-Known Member
My sister told me she was doing some guy one time and he drooled on her face.
Carne Seca
Well-Known Member
The stories I could tell about women viewing me as a challenge to their womanhood. Every one of them was convinced she would be the one to turn me straight. I had a marriage proposal with the clear understanding that we didn't have to "engage in sexual intercourse"... at first. I've been mob molested. Always at a damn bar. This is when a group of women find out that I'm a mo and spend the evening HARASSING THE SHIT OUT OF ME. I even had a coworker dry hump my leg (nearly forgot about that one). I love that bitch. 
Then there was the male biology professor that made the moves on me in his office. Luckily I can bob and weave like a prize fighter. Sometimes it doesn't pay to walk out the front door.
Then there was the male biology professor that made the moves on me in his office. Luckily I can bob and weave like a prize fighter. Sometimes it doesn't pay to walk out the front door.
RainbowBrite86
Well-Known Member
Gross! lol
RainbowBrite86
Well-Known Member
I took a gay guys virginity. It was...awful lol. He hadn't come out yet and I was young and thought...Idk wtf I was thinking to be honest. It was so awkward and not right and omg. But we're still friends all these years later.
Corso312
Well-Known Member
was that man rex ryan?...and don't matter how many dates...sucking toes = nasty and weird
Carne Seca
Well-Known Member
I can't even imagine. I have a friend from college that set the date when we would have sex. She kept a fucking calendar and marked off the days. She did this just to torment me. Evil white she devil. Thank God I finally married her ass off. He's the only man on earth who is immune to her insanity. They've been married over 20 years now. Still deliriously happy. She kept the fucking calendar. Brings it up at parties.. bar mitzvahs.. baptisms... funerals... pelvic exams. Good thing I love her. Otherwise, there would be a fresh grave somewhere on the Navajo Reservation.
RainbowBrite86
Well-Known Member
Alright how about a super nerd? lol. I was at this amateur comedy show at my college campus, and I was only 17 so I wasn't very experienced with guys and life. Well this guy is about two rows behind me, and he is coughing and hacking and bringing up loogies (sp?) behind me the entire time. So gross. Well the show is over, and everybody stands up to clap, and I can see him staring at me. And, even without experience, girls know that look. I BOLT. I mean I literally took the fuck off. He's walking hella fast trying to catch up and I can tell he's going to come talk to me so I grab my phone and pretend to call somebody lol. He's trying to talk to me anyway, fuck. I make it to the ladies room and duck inside. HE WAITS halfway down the hallway. So when he's looking at the flyers on the billboard I make a dash from the bathroom to the elevator. He sees me just out of the corner of his eye, and starts walking towards the elevator. I put my phone back up to my ear, talking to no one lol, and frantically pushing the door close button. I get to the bottom. HE TOOK THE FUCKING STAIRS. Ugh. So i'm like, fuck it, i'm just going to be friendly but keep walking. But he kept walking with me. And I didn't want him to take me to my car, so I turned around and faced the music. And then - he did it. He did exactly what I was so afraid of. He said his name. And then he held out his hand. His hand. That he had been coughing and hacking shit up on all. fucking. night. But my momma taught me manners, so I shook his hand. Then. He invited me (I shit you not) to a chess tournament. A CHESS TOURNAMENT. Do they really have those past elementary school?! I politely told him I couldn't make it, and that I had to get home before the snow got too bad to drive in. I think it's over, right? It's not.
There's a picture of me on the wall of the college. A group picture of scholarship winners. You would have to actually study that picture to know it was me. Who even looks at those things? Well he found it. With my name listed at the bottom. Looked me up in the campus system (fuckin student work jobs) and called me. To invite me. To another. fucking. chess. tournament.
I DOUSED my hands in hand sanitizer after I left the college that night. I got a cold anyway. I was so grossed out by it too because I knew his germs were in my lungs and ew, ew, ew.
There's a picture of me on the wall of the college. A group picture of scholarship winners. You would have to actually study that picture to know it was me. Who even looks at those things? Well he found it. With my name listed at the bottom. Looked me up in the campus system (fuckin student work jobs) and called me. To invite me. To another. fucking. chess. tournament.
I DOUSED my hands in hand sanitizer after I left the college that night. I got a cold anyway. I was so grossed out by it too because I knew his germs were in my lungs and ew, ew, ew.
RainbowBrite86
Well-Known Member
I think he was trying to figure out if he was really gay. And I was trying to figure out...if he was really gay lol. And he was, indeed, really gay.
Tenner
Well-Known Member
Thats not too bad I got pretty carried away with my girlfriend one time (in a sheepish way) and just drooled right down her cheek, it was pretty funny she wiped it off and we kept going LOL
Carne Seca
Well-Known Member
There's a big difference between drooling by accident and drooling as a fetish. ::shudder::
I hate you Dan Savage. You took my innocence.
I hate you Dan Savage. You took my innocence.