Okay, so I finally watched the fucking thing. And this was quite a momentous occasion in geekdom. For you see, I was a child of 7-11, Slurpees, and Marvel Comix right off the rack.
To give you a better idea, you're dealing with a person who knows that Thor first met and fought the Silver Surfer in Surfer #4 illustrated by the great John Buscema. And it turned out that the Surfer was powerful enough to go toe-to-toe with Thor. How geeky am I? -- BTW the Silver Surfer is one of the greatest if not THE greatest creation of Stan Lee and Marvel Comics. That fucking horrible second Fantastic Four movie (somehow even worse than the first) was an insult to the original Surfer character. They couldn't include the full detail and breadth of the comic story, so they changed the surfer into this mindless 'elemental entity.' And Galactus? They couldn't make Galactus with the talent and budget they had, so he was just a stupid cgi cloud or something. Stupid, stupid worthless movies -- both Fantastic Four films. I won't even get into the Puerto Rican Sue Storm Richards.
But since my brother and I were unnaturally intelligent kids, my first exposure to Thor came in the form of the Norse Myths long before I ever saw the winged-eared guy with the red cape (an obvious variation of Superman).
So I knew exactly what the comic book Thor was a take on even as a child. Man, even as a kid I remember thinking, "This is way too stupid to ever be a live-action movie."
Hey, I devoured all the comics, but that doesn't mean I didn't know how fucking corny they were.
So back to the movie. So I watched this thing. I'm not even going to get into the details of it. It's just a ridiculous CGI cartoon trying do dish a concept that is 'suspension of disbelief proof.' The only things real in the movie are the five actors and a hundred yard dirt lot with a phony town set built on it. Sure, it was cool to see some of my favorite comic book characters from when I was a kid brought to life on the big screen...
But even Anthony Hopkins as Odin couldn't save this Turkey.
This is a ridiculous adaptation of an even more ridiculous comic book concept.
The two characters (scientists in the film) are somehow ignorant of Norse Mythology? And the only reference to it is by the older dude scientist who remembers it as a 'silly children's story?' Really? Norse mythology is a 'silly children's story?' So the Vikings didn't exist? Scandinavian people don't exist in the movie? I swear I almost stopped watching the fucking thing right there.
In case you don't know, the comic book character Thor is the living embodiment of the mythological character... from ancient stories written by real ancient peoples who once lived on this earth -- A FUCKING PAGAN GOD! As if superheroes weren't enough of a stretch of the imagination, fucking gods now? No. It barely worked as ink drawings on paper. It doesn't work with real people. The actors must cringe when they watch it. I would if I were Natalie Portman. And will Chris Hemsworth have a career post-Thor? Remains to be seen. Hey, even Hugh Jackman is quickly receding into obscurity... and the Xmen films were way, way, way better than this shite.
If those film-makers had any integrity, they would have left this one on the toy store shelves. But no, it doesn't matter how fucking stupid and ridiculous a concept is as long as it makes money. Ridiculously bad movie. I refuse to watch the Avengers. I hated Jeremy Renner even before he put on the tights to play Hawkeye, one of the LAMEST characters in comic book history.
This fucking comic book movie shit is waaaaay out of control.
And besides, the whole thing about an angry God-King banishing his arrogant son to earth has been so done before:
I like real movies:
[video=youtube;0RI0Y3jI4S0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RI0Y3jI4S0&feature=fvst[/video]