During his golfing vacation at Martha's Vineyard - President Obama had been slicing off the tee on every hole.
He axed his Scottish born caddy if he has noticed any obvious reasons for his poor tee shots, to which the caddy replies:
"Aye, there's a piece of shit on the end of yer driver."
The President picks up his driver and cleans the club face, at which point the caddy says:
"No, the other end."
Bitches don't pay sick leave, don't pay insurance, no vacation, no holidays AND they expect 9 days a week?
That leaves exactly no time left for monkey spanking.