zer0ed
Active Member
Part of the story reminds me of the last couple of mushroom trips i had.
My trips tended to do a real reversal on me. i felt like i was stuck in another demension, and that i had always been there. and my sober life had just been a hallucination. and that there was no escape from it. that i was stuck forever, and by pure eventuallity, i would become everyone i had ever known. (because everyone is created, by their experiences, and i would eventually be stuck long enough to experience every combination of things that created the people that i know.)
and when i finally thought i had escaped, and sobered up, and lived life between my next trip, i would get sucked right back in on my next trip, and it felt like i had never left, that i just fell asleep, and thought i had left, and once again, i was stuck. (kind of like that "room 1408" movie, where he couldnt escape the hotel room) this happend to me 3 to 4 trips in a row. and its been a year 3 months, 19 days and 11 hours since my last trip. and if i ever trip again, i dont doubt i would end up back there. in that hole that i cant escape.
Tripping for me, has become/taken me to this VERY SERIOUS place. the seriousness of it, and the tension in it is so thick, that it makes being sober feel like being high by comparison. (life becomes too serious when im tripping)
the feeling is like that of sitting in a court room, or a church, or a funeral. just that impounding seriousness.
one of the first times it happend, was when i convinced my GF to let me dose, then to take me to see Toy Story in 3D.
Now i went, thinking that watching toy story 3D would be a blast. while tripping.
But the movie was far too serious, and i couldnt enjoy it at all!
First woody was betrayed by the kid, and his friends, who gave him the cold shoulder as this new guy came into town, and the feeling of sorrow and neglect that he felt just tore into me. and then he literally turns on the toy. and his friends banish him.
and then the kid that was supposed to be the badguy. I never relized how much of a poor neglected kid, he is.
Did you notice, that the only referance to the father, is that hes asleep in the chair? that poor kid. he is just neglected, its not his fault he is the way he is.
By the end of the movie, i was convinced that toy story is one of the saddest movies i have ever seen. its such a tragedy.
it was nothing but problems from begining to end. the movie stressed me out. LOL
But the reason why i called it a "hole" was because i felt so alone. and i was convinced i would be that way forever.
I even thought for a second about killing myself, but then somehow also convinced myself that it wouldnt do anygood and that i would still be trapped. it was like being stuck in "goundhogs day" i think he also tried killing himself in that movie.
Now when i said "serious" trips, i didnt mean that i was taking the trip seriously, and i agree with everything you said. i was all about introspection when i first started this hobby. and i dont consider mushrooms something to be taken lightly.
But what i ment was that the world around me became serious. there was nothing funny about the place i was in. like sitting in a big silent library. it was just that loud silent serious vibe emenating from everything.
and i was dying to fall asleep, hoping to wake up sober. hoping it would all just end and go away. at that point, its just not fun anymore. but when your in that state, you cant fall asleep. and laying there trying to fall asleep, because i wanted it to end, felt like i literally layed there with my eyes closed, wide awake, for years. just changing positions every few hours. waiting for it to go away.
It makes the note in the story. the "Let me out." i know the feeling. once it isnt fun anymore. once your no longer enjoying it, it can feel like its never going to end.
My trips tended to do a real reversal on me. i felt like i was stuck in another demension, and that i had always been there. and my sober life had just been a hallucination. and that there was no escape from it. that i was stuck forever, and by pure eventuallity, i would become everyone i had ever known. (because everyone is created, by their experiences, and i would eventually be stuck long enough to experience every combination of things that created the people that i know.)
and when i finally thought i had escaped, and sobered up, and lived life between my next trip, i would get sucked right back in on my next trip, and it felt like i had never left, that i just fell asleep, and thought i had left, and once again, i was stuck. (kind of like that "room 1408" movie, where he couldnt escape the hotel room) this happend to me 3 to 4 trips in a row. and its been a year 3 months, 19 days and 11 hours since my last trip. and if i ever trip again, i dont doubt i would end up back there. in that hole that i cant escape.
Tripping for me, has become/taken me to this VERY SERIOUS place. the seriousness of it, and the tension in it is so thick, that it makes being sober feel like being high by comparison. (life becomes too serious when im tripping)
the feeling is like that of sitting in a court room, or a church, or a funeral. just that impounding seriousness.
one of the first times it happend, was when i convinced my GF to let me dose, then to take me to see Toy Story in 3D.
Now i went, thinking that watching toy story 3D would be a blast. while tripping.
But the movie was far too serious, and i couldnt enjoy it at all!
First woody was betrayed by the kid, and his friends, who gave him the cold shoulder as this new guy came into town, and the feeling of sorrow and neglect that he felt just tore into me. and then he literally turns on the toy. and his friends banish him.
and then the kid that was supposed to be the badguy. I never relized how much of a poor neglected kid, he is.
Did you notice, that the only referance to the father, is that hes asleep in the chair? that poor kid. he is just neglected, its not his fault he is the way he is.
By the end of the movie, i was convinced that toy story is one of the saddest movies i have ever seen. its such a tragedy.
it was nothing but problems from begining to end. the movie stressed me out. LOL
But the reason why i called it a "hole" was because i felt so alone. and i was convinced i would be that way forever.
I even thought for a second about killing myself, but then somehow also convinced myself that it wouldnt do anygood and that i would still be trapped. it was like being stuck in "goundhogs day" i think he also tried killing himself in that movie.
Now when i said "serious" trips, i didnt mean that i was taking the trip seriously, and i agree with everything you said. i was all about introspection when i first started this hobby. and i dont consider mushrooms something to be taken lightly.
But what i ment was that the world around me became serious. there was nothing funny about the place i was in. like sitting in a big silent library. it was just that loud silent serious vibe emenating from everything.
and i was dying to fall asleep, hoping to wake up sober. hoping it would all just end and go away. at that point, its just not fun anymore. but when your in that state, you cant fall asleep. and laying there trying to fall asleep, because i wanted it to end, felt like i literally layed there with my eyes closed, wide awake, for years. just changing positions every few hours. waiting for it to go away.
It makes the note in the story. the "Let me out." i know the feeling. once it isnt fun anymore. once your no longer enjoying it, it can feel like its never going to end.
I came back to tripping by warming myself to what I knew to be true, positive things. 
Poor old little critters I killed... Now I`m the guy who still lets the same type of bee out when one startled me and caused me to break somebody elses coffee mug the other day lol I remember thinking "fucking bee, fucking pest!!" then "hey hold on, humans are the pests in this world not the bees" lol 
been over a year.