Went out on the front porch to have a smoke, and

[d.s.m.]

I see this young woman making her way up the sidewalk, carrying a shiny plastic patio chair and something that looks like one of those giant tins of popcorn that cheap companies give to employees at Christmas, the one that usually has three flavors inside separated buy thin cardboard, you know the one.

Anyway, as she gets closer I can see that she's a little impaired. She's having trouble keeping it on the sidewalk, and keeps skittering onto lawns and then almost out to the gutter, and then centering again. And she's carrying the chair with one arm, and the thing in the other, but her arms must be getting tired because she stops a few times to switch arms, and when she stops she puts the chair down, puts the thing in the chair, then uses the back of the chair to lean on and get her bearings. Then she grabs her things and moves on a little further. I just stood and watched this until she had passed and was too far up the street to see anymore.

I was going to say something, like "Hey, where'd you get the chair?" seeing as how it most likely came from one of my neighbor's yards, but I didn't. I'd just had a little hash, and the whole thing was so surreal, it just wasn't my place to do anything but witness this odd spectacle. She never saw me.

And besides, who the fuck am I? It could have been her chair.

 

[DarthD3vl]

was she hot lol I thought you were gonna say her popcorn thing was full of three kinds of dank nugs and she was going door to door tokin with people on there patio's (hence the chair) or something lol. If I was high i would have likely just watched also

 

[......]

lol Tis doesn't really seem weird at all.

 

[poonjoon]

same..if i was high i'd sit there watching..like

 

[DSB65]

I guess you'll never know whose chair it was...

 

[UncleBuck]

ha. lady must have been drunk!

on a threadjack related note, i went out to the front porch to have a smoke the other day, about 2 pm, and 3 kids come walking up the sidewalk, one of them taking a rip off a pipe. they noticed me too late! they tried to stay cool and keep walking, but i made eye contact, smiled, and just said something about hitting a pipe in broad daylight on a busy street, what a great place we live in. they offered me some of their weed for a beer. i told them i don't furnish to minors. i regret not taking a look at what they were holding.

 

[puffntuff]

You should have asked her for some popcorn. It would take care of the munchies later.

 

[cmt1984]

lmao i dont know why...but i cant stop laughing. thanks for the story.

 

[brownbearclan]

I thought for sure this was gonna be like..."Dear Penthouse Forum, went out on the front porch to have a smoke and I see this young woman making her way up the sidewalk..."

Kinda anti-climatic lol but yeah, it always makes an impression when your high and you see something bizarre like that. =D

 

[DarthD3vl]

ha. lady must have been drunk!

on a threadjack related note, i went out to the front porch to have a smoke the other day, about 2 pm, and 3 kids come walking up the sidewalk, one of them taking a rip off a pipe. they noticed me too late! they tried to stay cool and keep walking, but i made eye contact, smiled, and just said something about hitting a pipe in broad daylight on a busy street, what a great place we live in. they offered me some of their weed for a beer. i told them i don't furnish to minors. i regret not taking a look at what they were holding.

right never know could have been the dankest on the planet.... probably not though

 

[d.s.m.]

I guess you'll never know whose chair it was...

If it was my neighbors, that'll suck. They keep an eye on my shit.

 

[d.s.m.]

lol Tis doesn't really seem weird at all.

It's weird for my street.

 

[purplehazin]

If it was my neighbors, that'll suck. They keep an eye on my shit.

Too late now

 

[d.s.m.]

was she hot lol I thought you were gonna say her popcorn thing was full of three kinds of dank nugs and she was going door to door tokin with people on there patio's (hence the chair) or something lol. If I was high i would have likely just watched also

A part of me thought of bringing her in to sober up, after all she had her own chair to sit in. But I don't need that shit. Too much pot here to be bringing drunk ass possible patio furniture thieves inside.

 

[ANC]

Just think of all the nice stuff she could have collected for your patio...
But yeah, drunk girls are a turn-off.

 

[DSB65]

a part of me thought of bringing her in to sober up, after all she had her own chair to sit in. But i don't need that shit. Too much pot here to be bringing drunk ass possible patio furniture thieves inside.

if she was a hot you probably would of been smoking a joint with her and sitting in her stolen chair...

 

[BSIv2.0]

Great short/descriptive story.

 

[Mama Green]

oh shit you saw me??

that was my own chair.. I just like carrying it around with me. And I love popcorn. love the shit.. especially when I'm drunk. Now, I may have not stolen the popcorn.. I'm not claiming to have purchased it, I just can't remember.

Invite me up for some hash next time stingy.. whats a girl gotta do to hit the bowl?

 

[poonjoon]

whats a girl gotta do to hit the bowl?

i think you know baby <3

 

[Total Head]

do you live on my street? i see stuff like that a lot and i never get numb to it. ever. i'm always surprised. last summer we put an old (like 1980's old) broken excersise bike out on the sidewalk (metal scavengers come by frequently, it's cheaper this way) it was around 10 pm and i was also on my front porch which is closed in and about 7 feet from the sidewalk. i was smoking a doob looking out a window, and all the sudden i hear this metal scraping sound and whispering. i go to the other window and there's a drunk chick and her boyfriend dragging the heavy ass bike down the street like 4 inches at a time all loud and the chick goes, "bitch, finders keepers!" hands down best porch session ever.