The UK Growers Thread!

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bobbybigbud

Well-Known Member
I am sick and tired of my husband coming on this site and using all of your jokes and humour. Frankly it has become an embarassment at family occasions, on holiday and in public in general. If you could tone it down, and keep it clean, it would be much appreciated.

Regards,

Queen Elizabeth II
 
speedyseedz

speedyseedz

Well-Known Member
bobbybigbud said:
I am sick and tired of my husband coming on this site and using all of your jokes and humour. Frankly it has become an embarassment at family occasions, on holiday and in public in general. If you could tone it down, and keep it clean, it would be much appreciated.

Regards,

Queen Elizabeth II
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He's my hero you know, if I could be anyone when i was older I would be him. The press give him a lot of shit for it, but c'mon if your in his position you should be allowed to say whatever the fuck you want, which he does with class.
 
R

RiffiX

Active Member
speedyseedz said:
He's my hero you know, if I could be anyone when i was older I would be him. The press give him a lot of shit for it, but c'mon if your in his position you should be allowed to say whatever the fuck you want, which he does with class.
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True that! Don't you wish he was in charge? Haha
 
B

bobbybigbud

Well-Known Member
speedyseedz said:
He's my hero you know, if I could be anyone when i was older I would be him. The press give him a lot of shit for it, but c'mon if your in his position you should be allowed to say whatever the fuck you want, which he does with class.
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That's wat I call class aswel av ya seen it wen they take the piss on mock the week it's so fuckin funny wen frankie was onit
 
B

bobbybigbud

Well-Known Member
My girlfriend asked me if I had ever pissed in the shower.

I said, "Yeah, a couple of times, accidentally."

She said, "That's disgusting! What do you mean accidentally?!"

"Hey," I said, "these things happen when you're having a shit."
 
dura72

dura72

Well-Known Member
i paki was run over and killed by a bus outside my house yesterday and i thought shit that could've been me but then i thought i can't drive a bus.
 
dura72

dura72

Well-Known Member
Got engaged in a bit of saucy office banter with the girls I work with.
"So what are you like in bed then, tiger?" one of them cheekily asked.
I puffed out my chest and said "I've had no complaints".

Thought it prudent not to mention the rohypnol.
 
dura72

dura72

Well-Known Member
just found this on another site thought it was pretty good.

true story;
I used to work in a call centre selling car insurance and question we had to ask customers was "Has your car had any optional extras fitted. Kelly used to sit next to me and asked a customer this question on the phone. He replied "Yes, my car has a flux capacitor" she had no idea he was joking and just said "i don't know if we cover those i'll have to go ask my supervisor." She walked across the room to our supervisor and we just heard him burst out laughing. She came back completely straight faced, picked up the phone and said "Sir, i've spoke to my supervisor and apparantly we'll cover it but only up to 88 miles and hour"
 
dura72

dura72

Well-Known Member
I was in the kitchen this morning when i heard someone cry for help outside. Of course i immmediately ran out. A paki was being beaten to death before my eyes. Then the sheer scale of the horror hit me. Shit, my toast was burning.
 
dura72

dura72

Well-Known Member
You are well within the law to smack you child as long as you don't leave a mark.

To keep on the safe side though, just hit black kids.
 
dura72

dura72

Well-Known Member
my girlfriend asked me how i would like buried.
apparently 'ball deep in your slutty sister' wasn't the reply she was expecting.
 
dura72

dura72

Well-Known Member
bacon sandwich, loads a butter, 5 rashers of bacon,and a nice strong cuppa tea. breakfast of the gods.
 
DevilishlyKatt

DevilishlyKatt

Active Member
speedyseedz said:
stop eating that american junk then, go to a real sarnie shop and they'll usually have fresh roasted meats from that day.
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It's the husband that usually wants Subway, I don't mind it, but the couple sandwiches I like from there SHOULD have pork and I hate turkey! There isn't much to choose from on the High Street where our shop is, there is one decent sandwich shop, but most of their stuff is cold. I prefer a hot sandwich usually
 
SM4RT3

SM4RT3

Active Member
I missed the joke posts....

here goes...

A paki was found hanging from a tree in my local park, he had been stabbed 27 times had broken arms and legs...
Police said it was the worst case of suicide they had ever seen.

Whats blue and doesn't fit anymore....
A dead epeleptic.

What do u do if u see an epeleptic having a fit in the bath...
Throw ur washing in.

What's black and blue and hates sex...
The ten year old in my trunk.

How is knockin up your girlfriend like locking your keys out of your car...
The problem goes away with the aid of a coathangar.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies, and a Ferarri...
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What's the difference between acne and a paedophile...
Acne doesn't come on your face until you're twelve.
 
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