my anger is ruining relationships. help...

CreepyStevie69

CreepyStevie69

Well-Known Member
so i have a temper problem. there i admitted it. i dunno what it can be. i dunno if its something to do with my surroundings or something chemically wrong with my brain...

i take it out mostly on my girfriend and because of it were on the verge of breaking up i feel...

my father (rip) i hear had a pretty bad temper himself.

currently im on klonopin/clonazapam .5mg a day. that was for anxiety though.

im just really at a lost. i been thinking about doing some psycadelics like acid and search through my ego or something. i feel meds cover up the real cause. i wanna get to the source other wise itll never go away...

does anyone have any advice. like is this a personality disorder... any help appreciated.

i lost friends, years are lost between me and my family, and im about to lose my gf.... im desperate for answers. thanks for reading this....
 
Kaibutsu420

Kaibutsu420

Active Member
Sorry to hear of that. I had similar issues with an ex. If you can't handle your emotions and love yourself first, how do you expect to take on someone elses?

I say that if you love her, let her know that and just be friends. It sucks I know but fixing yourself right now should be the first priority.

I don't think you should take a drug to "Find yourself". Try talking about things more and getting close with a member of your family. Have you though of a type of anger management? It did wonders for my ex. He is a different person these days.

Good luck with yourself and smoke a J once in a while.
 
S

SSHZ

Well-Known Member
My guess is some built up deep-rooted insecurity/depression issues that are expressed/released thru your anger. Therapy/talking to someone is more helpful than just taking med's and I guess doing both is ideal. Forget about the acid, etc.- they'll just make things worse. These things normally don't go away by themselves and typically become worse as you get older so may I suggest a good therapist/psychologist to help you get a better understanding of your issues. Good luck with it all.
 
CreepyStevie69

CreepyStevie69

Well-Known Member
Kaibutsu420 said:
Sorry to hear of that. I had similar issues with an ex. If you can't handle your emotions and love yourself first, how do you expect to take on someone elses?

I say that if you love her, let her know that and just be friends. It sucks I know but fixing yourself right now should be the first priority.

I don't think you should take a drug to "Find yourself". Try talking about things more and getting close with a member of your family. Have you though of a type of anger management? It did wonders for my ex. He is a different person these days.

Good luck with yourself and smoke a J once in a while.
Click to expand...
im not angry at myself at all it just happens. like i explode! and i say mean hurtful things i dont really mean. how do i go about this anger management thing...

and yes lol i smoke a few j's... lol
 
Chiceh

Chiceh

Global Mod, Stoner Chic
I can relate to your anger issues. I have had to deal with this myself without any meds other than weed. What I would suggest is to talk to someone, a therapist, counsellor. Someone that doesn't know you but is a professional that can help you get through this. There usually is a reason for it if you can dig deep enough to find it. Once you do discover the root, then you have figure out how to deal with it and move on from there. Knowledge is the key though, you have to find out why you are like this if you want to manage it. Good luck to you. :peace:
 
CreepyStevie69

CreepyStevie69

Well-Known Member
SSHZ said:
My guess is some built up deep-rooted insecurity/depression issues that are expressed/released thru your anger. Therapy/talking to someone is more helpful than just taking med's and I guess doing both is ideal. Forget about the acid, etc.- they'll just make things worse. These things normally don't go away by themselves and typically become worse as you get older so may I suggest a good therapist/psychologist to help you get a better understanding of your issues. Good luck with it all.
Click to expand...
yeah i been going on and off since i was six... fucked up ri know.. but i think "deep rooted" issues might be it. some stuff when i was younger kinda messed me up that i still think about. but recently i stopped going to a therapist due to financial issues thats why i wanted some pointers. some stuff i find online makes it worse cuz it just makes me bottle it up.
 
Krypt

Krypt

Well-Known Member
i dont think trying to find yourself through acid is the best way. In my experience, acid should be taken when someone is completely secure with themselves on the inside and outside. It sounds like u may not like yourself for some reason that has eaten at u for quite some time. I cannot recommend any therapy or medications to help with this, only to tell u this and to hope that u slowly begin to realize that not everything in your life is in your control.

THis is my opinion and the only reason I wrote was because I feel like I have recently been dealing with a lot of anger, and i finally feel like Im getting out of my funk. Good luck on your tough times, anger is the hardest yet most common emotion to deal with.
 
CreepyStevie69

CreepyStevie69

Well-Known Member
its like a disease... kinda like addction which i went through too... a few years back though. everyone thinks you can just stop and they act like you do it on purpose. which just makes it worse ya know?
 
CreepyStevie69

CreepyStevie69

Well-Known Member
i feel comfortable with my self... its my surroundings... you ever feel like just going for a drive and living off the wild... into the wild style.... even though that movie sucked
 
Krypt

Krypt

Well-Known Member
its exactly how i felt, and i understand with the relationship thing...my gf and i have had many rough times, almost all of which are caused by my anger or my inability to express what is truly bothering me.
 
Woomeister

Woomeister

Well-Known Member
Your symptoms sound like me 12years back. I suffered from acute anxiety and also suffered with anger around people who I loved. After councilling I became to understand that my issues around rejection as a child had built up a subconcious defense mechanism. The process was described thus; anxiety fuels a need to self fulfill deep seated worries, with me rejection, so rather than be rejected I would force the issue by getting nasty and angry at times. Rather than be rejected I would reject. Im not saying this is exactly the case for you.
 
CreepyStevie69

CreepyStevie69

Well-Known Member
yeah i guess you guys deserver some background... i know people go through worse shit like being sexually abused and stuff but at fiv emy dad moved out. at that age ive sen my dad beat my mom. six they got divorced. age seven my dad got diagnoised with cancer. age nine he died. and at age ten my mom got remarried. the guys a great guy though he takes care of us good
 
SikSol

SikSol

Well-Known Member
I have the same problem man, its actually part the reason im bieng discharged from the army. I tried klonopin as well with no luck, now I take Depakote 750mg, Resperidone, and Zoloft and It helps alot. Still have troubles sometimes but I've learned to tell when Im gettin in one those "moods" that I may snap and I will go keep myself busy doing something till it passes, or just get toasted to mellow out. DONT ever drink when in a "mood" though... drinking always makes it worse I turn into a angry little bastard. Just my 2cents from someone that suffers a similiar problem.
 
CreepyStevie69

CreepyStevie69

Well-Known Member
woomeister... yeah to people i dont know or are about im all nice and have manners but with the people i should care about and be nice too im a total dick
 
CreepyStevie69

CreepyStevie69

Well-Known Member
siksol... yeah i try to keep busy. drinking though makes me really happy which i why i was a drunk for a while... but drinking is a temporary fix.

kaibutsu420... lol thats me exactly... well im sure the lol isnt apropiate
 
Stoney McFried

Stoney McFried

Well-Known Member
I have a temper, too.I tend to be a "chip stacker." I bite my tongue and hold my anger until it explodes.Then I yell and cuss,lol.
I'm not going to recommend therapy, because for me personally, it wouldn't work.I also agree with the use of mind altering substances to explore oneself.I'd like to do an actual peyote or ayahuasca ceremony.I think certain substances can be very insightful tools for us,helping us discover why we do things,because they can shut down the barrier we put up subconsciously to block out painful memories.Just because you can't see the wound, doesn't mean it's not bleeding. But I do think you need to first realize, who most of your anger really is directed at...you.You're punishing yourself, for whatever reason, because you feel unlovable, or unworthy.Since you think it is just a matter of time before friends and loved ones figure this out, you lash out first.
I find, when I feel the rage bubbling beneath the surface, completely baking myself in one session until that part of my brain feels numb gets me thinking more rationally.I used to have to do this about every other week, but now I can go for months in between smoking sessions if I choose.Basically I think I wore a new "path" into my brain.Once you get the rage under control for an extended period, you can begin on your journey into hallucinogenic "therapy", as mindset at the time of ingestion influences the tone of the trip.Carey grant used Lsd therapy, supervised by a doctor, and had good things to say about the experience.I'm not a doctor or a therapist, however, so I can only tell you what has helped me. I can tell you, that for me, at least, mushrooms were a gentle trip that I would definitely like to repeat, this time focusing inward a bit more.Here are a couple if interesting articles I googled regarding lsd therapy.
http://www.druglibrary.org/schaffer/LSD/grofhist.htm http://www.maps.org/books/remembrances.html
One on psilocybe as a therapy tool...http://www.csp.org/psilocybin/Psilo20060712-PsychiatricTimes.pdf
I couldn't find a decent one on peyote used in therapy, usually it's used as a religious tool by Native Americans.
CreepyStevie69 said:
so i have a temper problem. there i admitted it. i dunno what it can be. i dunno if its something to do with my surroundings or something chemically wrong with my brain...

i take it out mostly on my girfriend and because of it were on the verge of breaking up i feel...

my father (rip) i hear had a pretty bad temper himself.

currently im on klonopin/clonazapam .5mg a day. that was for anxiety though.

im just really at a lost. i been thinking about doing some psycadelics like acid and search through my ego or something. i feel meds cover up the real cause. i wanna get to the source other wise itll never go away...

does anyone have any advice. like is this a personality disorder... any help appreciated.

i lost friends, years are lost between me and my family, and im about to lose my gf.... im desperate for answers. thanks for reading this....
Click to expand...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top