korvette1977
Well-Known Member
All is good here .. But its cold ,, China has a 2 hr delay so she has to be at school for 10amm.. so she gets to sleep in. I'm doing laundry , smoking bowls , and waiting for June ............
Wake n Bake, Nothing Better!
- Thread starter Chiceh
- Start date
puffdamagikdragon
Well-Known Member
Mornin, Twisty, don't blow away! Mornin, Vette! Slap some Vette sugah on the China Cat for me... Sunny Bunny! C'mer, lemme give you a hug....
Whuzzup, bakers?
Whuzzup, bakers?
korvette1977
Well-Known Member
Morning puff ... I was thinking that ,, But she is sleeping and I dont have the heart to wake her
misshestermoffitt
New Member
Good morning everyone, snow flurries here and it's cold (there's a shocker) 
Sunnysideup
Well-Known Member
Mornin Puff!! and here is a hug for you!
misshestermoffitt
New Member
Sunny !!! Tomorrow is the big day woo hoo !!!
Sunnysideup
Well-Known Member
Yeah it is!!! I am waiting now for my cabinets, they should be here any minute!! They said they would be here between 9 and 10 am....Man, that was close!! I am picking Rick up in Tampa tomorrow at 8:30 pm. We will be home by 10pm and in bed by 10:01 pm!! WoooooooHoooooooo, I am like a virgin now!!!!LOL LOLSunny !!! Tomorrow is the big day woo hoo !!!
misshestermoffitt
New Member
Awww, I was hoping he'd be home in the morning for you. Oh well, at least you've got a plan !
Sunnysideup
Well-Known Member
Oh yeah, I have a plan!!! TO GET LAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I washed the linens, candles are everywhere, our favorite cd "Remember The Titans Soundtrack" is in the Bose, and a couple bottles of wine in the frig chilling. I am ready, I hope he is....there may be a case of rape at Sunny's house tomorrow night!
Twistyman
Well-Known Member
Sunnysideup
Well-Known Member
Yeah Twisty!! Something along those lines.............it has been way toooooo long!
misshestermoffitt
New Member
You didn't forget to shave your legs did you? I'd hate for Rick to get rug burn when he gets home 
Sounds like some romancing is getting ready to happen at your place.
Sounds like some romancing is getting ready to happen at your place.
Sunnysideup
Well-Known Member
I had EVERY orifice of my body WAXED....I am ready!!!You didn't forget to shave your legs did you? I'd hate for Rick to get rug burn when he gets home
Sounds like some romancing is getting ready to happen at your place.
diemdepyro
Well-Known Member
If I wrote a sleep journal that would be page one. Sleep eludes me. It is always something.G'day vette... man what a crappy sleep...one of those, "WTF is that lump", sleep.... sheets are bunched up... pillow sucks..etc..
Looks like we're not getting the last big part of the storm...... Good... I need to go to mall and get bread...
diemdepyro
Well-Known Member
Wow I am glad I am not a woman...Holy Shit. Does it hurt?
misshestermoffitt
New Member
O U C H 
Damn you are a brave woman, I had my eyebrows waxed ONCE and that was some painful shit. I can't imagine waxing more tender areas.
puffdamagikdragon
Well-Known Member
Since we are on the subject...
Here is a laff for all of you this fine morning, while we get high and start our days........
My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home, fix dinner,
played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully
in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of
the medicine cabinet.' So I headed to the site of my deyû*·; the
bathroom.
It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot
wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, get them
warm and you peel them apart, press it to your leg (or wherever else) and
you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out. *YA THINK!!!*
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ( 'cold wax'yeah.....right!) (Oh how this phrase haunts me!)
I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!
OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-ra, fighter of all wayward
body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids I sneak
back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I
drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same
procedure, I apply the was strip across the right side of bikini line,
covering the right half of my v-g-na and stretching down to the inside
of my butt cheek. (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace
myself. RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of
the strip. crap!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP.
Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out.......must stay conscious....Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...... OK, back
to normal.
I want to see my trophy - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt, that has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair. WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot
still perched on the toilet. I see the hair..The hair that should be on
the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. Crap! I run my fingers over the
most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and
matted hair.
Then I make the next BIG mistake remember my foot is still propped up on
the toilet. I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.
noo!!!!!!!! DAMN!!!
I hear the slamming of the cell door. V-g-n- Sealed shut. Butt?? Sealed shut.
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off' Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!
I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse
the wax covered bits and the waxshould melt and I can gently wipe it off
right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to
torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now,
the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together
is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub.....in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to porcelin!!! God bless the man that convinced me I should have a
phone in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret
of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter 'So, my
butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!' There is a slight
pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal, but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located,
'Are we talking cheeks or hole or who-ha?'
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown
and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!!
Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go
through various solutions.
I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then
to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the
tub in super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!! By now
the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I am pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point?
I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids,
scared the dickens out of my friend. It's soooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT
WORKS!! It works!!
I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I
successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief
and despair THE HAIR IS STILL THERE ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now....Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color......
Here is a laff for all of you this fine morning, while we get high and start our days........
My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home, fix dinner,
played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully
in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of
the medicine cabinet.' So I headed to the site of my deyû*·; the
bathroom.
It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot
wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, get them
warm and you peel them apart, press it to your leg (or wherever else) and
you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out. *YA THINK!!!*
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ( 'cold wax'yeah.....right!) (Oh how this phrase haunts me!)
I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!
OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-ra, fighter of all wayward
body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids I sneak
back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I
drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same
procedure, I apply the was strip across the right side of bikini line,
covering the right half of my v-g-na and stretching down to the inside
of my butt cheek. (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace
myself. RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of
the strip. crap!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP.
Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out.......must stay conscious....Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...... OK, back
to normal.
I want to see my trophy - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt, that has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair. WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot
still perched on the toilet. I see the hair..The hair that should be on
the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. Crap! I run my fingers over the
most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and
matted hair.
Then I make the next BIG mistake remember my foot is still propped up on
the toilet. I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.
noo!!!!!!!! DAMN!!!
I hear the slamming of the cell door. V-g-n- Sealed shut. Butt?? Sealed shut.
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off' Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!
I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse
the wax covered bits and the waxshould melt and I can gently wipe it off
right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to
torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now,
the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together
is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub.....in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to porcelin!!! God bless the man that convinced me I should have a
phone in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret
of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter 'So, my
butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!' There is a slight
pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal, but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located,
'Are we talking cheeks or hole or who-ha?'
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown
and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!!
Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go
through various solutions.
I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then
to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the
tub in super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!! By now
the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I am pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point?
I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids,
scared the dickens out of my friend. It's soooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT
WORKS!! It works!!
I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I
successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief
and despair THE HAIR IS STILL THERE ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now....Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color......
diemdepyro
Well-Known Member
Puff that is the funniest thing I have read in a long time.
Change your screen name to Iluvlucy.
Change your screen name to Iluvlucy.